Charming Venus snuggles delusional Neptune, igniting our hearts and cooking them to a crisp. Love is a heated incandescence that carries us to the moon and back. Feast away but beware of the heartburn afterwards, kids!
ARIES Randy Rams find a gem among the trash when Venus conjuncts Neptune. A friend becomes much more as a tornado of passion lays your best-laid plans. But as the dust clears could that 'gem' be just another strand of large plastic beads? Do you really care?
TAURUS Queer Bulls are swept off their hooves as a certain powerbroker grabs you by the horns and rides you. Yahoo cowpoke! Will you climb the ladder on your back? Alas, all good things come to an end and so will you. Pack a pillow for the slide down, buster.
GEMINI Pink Twins hunger for foreign fare and amble off on far-flung romantic tangents, scattering a bag of breadcrumbs to find their way home. Hungry birds have other plans, compadre. Life has its dreamy surprises; a troll becomes a billy goat gruff. Grrrr.
CANCER There is a rocket in every pocket when randy Venus bumps and grinds Neptune. Your urge to merge boils to a tasty bouillabaisse. Chances are that later in the evening you will be hungry again. Go for seconds and be as sloppy as you like.
LEO Relationships become dreamy and creamy as your desires froth to a feeding frenzy when romantic Venus conjuncts giddy Neptune. Satisfy your sweet tooth any way you can. Single pink cubs become the toast of the town, at least in their own minds.
VIRGO Queer Virgins are apt to jump head first into a torrid office affair and think of the aftershocks later. Perhaps it is wiser to hunt for game at the health club where you can see the merchandise before you buy and can return damaged goods anonymously.
LIBRA Pack your party gear! Gay Libras find a Pandora's Box of goodies at every party. But be warned; you may not know when enough is enough. There is nothing sadder than a dissipated old thing hanging around the twinkies, hoping for a nibble.
SCORPIO Venus conjuncts Neptune and stokes a long dormant need to change your surroundings. Renovate or detonate, proud Scorp? This transit compels you to splurge on those puce and orange plastic macrame plant holders but resist the urge.
SAGITTARIUS Queer Archers think they spout words of wisdom when chatty Venus conjuncts Neptune. They pontificate ad nauseam. They become legends in their own mind. They find themselves talking to the mirror. Good thing. They have spinach in their teeth.
CAPRICORN Pink Caps crave money and more money but Venus and Neptune overthrow your capitalistic regime and install a social welfare state. There is a reappraisal afoot and you will find that there are things that cannot be bought. Things, yes. People? Ha!
AQUARIUS Aqueerians are goaded to change their 'look' and veer into the uber ranks of the fashionistas. But it is a thin, botoxed line between high fashion and high farce. Someone will have compromising photos of you when this transit passes ... if you are lucky!
PISCES Guppies are wise beyond their years; at least that is what they think. Blast open your closet, rid yourself of unwanted baggage and become the joyful spirit you yearn to be. Your psychic line sizzles so see where your intuition takes you. Let's hope it is not to Newark.