The Sun conjuncts retrograding Mercury over the next two weeks sending our innocent and not-so-innocent thoughts into wayward action. Your mind is as sharp as a tack but be careful where you point that thing. Ouch!
ARIES Gay Rams can't help but spend, spend, spend. Will you get what you pay for? Harness this out-of-control fiscal fete and funnel loose funds into long-term equity rather than sweat. Of course, a few loose coins for a few sweaty things may not be a waste after all ...
TAURUS Queer Bulls find themselves at the bare naked center of a public exhibition. Before you catch a chill, use the lessons of retro Mercury to assess any embarrassing situation. Avoid closer scrutiny unless you have something interesting to show. Ahem.
GEMINI Generous pink Twins are on a karmic mission and are keen to volunteer to make the world a prouder place. This explosive conjunction may also blow your closet off its hinges if you are sequestered inside. Good! Be sure that you are rough and ready.
CANCER Everyone is on the same wavelength. Everyone, that is, except pink Crabs who are off on their own steamy little tangents. If pals are not listening, wait until Mercury redirects on the 20th. Now they're screening their messages and you are mothballed.
LEO Don't be surprised if your best ideas do not see the light of day with superiors. Chalk it up to their lack of vision and the way you roar the news. There will be plenty of opportunity to toss out the pinstripped bastards in the two weeks. Stay tuned gay Leo ... .
VIRGO Queer Virgins itch to reveal the truth to the world. Maybe some folks aren't ready to hear. They may or may not accept us for who we are but let's not spend time measuring up to anyone's expectations but our own. We pack our own ruler. Ain't it the truth, pal!
LIBRA The cocky Sun collides with mouthy retro Mercury and you come down with sex on the mind. Get Out there and make your wet dreams come true later in May. For now, let thoughts grind and percolate. Proud Libras will be ready to taste in due time.
SCORPIO Partnerships get your attention as optimistic Sun brushes against retro Mercury. Before you set ground rules, wait until Mercury redirects in mid-May. Proud Scorps have high expectations but cannot express them clearly now. Talk with your hands.
SAGITTARIUS A new broom sweeps clean at work but are you just pushing the dust around gay Archers? Housework was never your strong suit. You become snarly with oafs who do not pitch in with the same verve. Keep your tongue in cheek ... but whose cheek???
CAPRICORN Your creative gay muse runs wilde, pink Cap, and you think you are awash with great ideas. But they may just be all wet. Wait until Mercury redirects on the 20th to see which ones are drip dry and which are perma press. Hey press this ... !
AQUARIUS Aqueerians drag out the artillery when Sun crunches retro Mercury. Talk to the folks, but leave the bazooka at home. While compromise is not in the game plan, you get a full surrender if you stand firm. And you happen to be fairly good at that!
PISCES Guppies use the Sun / retro Mercury conjunction to get their opinions out to the unwashed masses. But you may manage to insult and alienate everyone. When in doubt, keep your catty opinions to yourself ... at least for the next couple of weeks.