Jack be nimble, Jack be quick, Jack not only jumps over the candlestick but he also whirls it over his head, spraying wax in all directions and slips on it. Mars conjuncts Jupiter and every action becomes a nuclear reaction. Kaboom, kids.
ARIES (MARCH 21 - APRIL 20) Even the loudest proudest Rams need someone they can brag about. You now have the pick of the litter (choose ONE) and become subsumed with desire and domestication. Gee, you look awfully nice in that leash. But what is it with that muzzle...?
TAURUS (APRIL 21 - MAY 21) Hard work pays off. Roll up your sleeves and succeed! succeed! succeed! Consider revising and upgrading your exercise and diet regimes. Queer Bulls can be a major force if they can only get those gams in gear. Think hot pink spandex... among other things.
GEMINI (MAY 22 - JUNE 21) Are we in the presence of pure genius? Well, er, maybe. Any minor doodle can become your masterpiece. Harness this creative verve and unleash it in concentrated spurts. Don't obsess. Satisfy your addictions with some flirty little romance.
CANCER (JUNE 22 - JULY 23) Gay Crabs have an aching desire to bridge all the discordant areas of their home life. The impossible seems quite possible. But always be your open and out self. There can be no compromises in this area of your life. Others will have to adjust.
LEO (JULY 24 - AUG. 23) Verbally impaired proud Lions wax eloquent when jaunty Jupiter conjuncts Mars. Take a political stand and deliver it to the appropriate politicians. You shall be heard! I can't think of a better spokesperson for our agenda through the autumn.
VIRGO (AUG. 24 - SEPT. 23) If you have carefully planned out your investment strategy, this planetary transit could reap big monetary rewards. If retirement is simply a twinkle in your eye, place that twinkle in the bank now and watch it glow brighter and brighter. You shine, gay Virgin.
LIBRA (SEPT. 24 - OCT. 23) Proud Libras can't escape the maddening crowd. But this carries you to a new growth period in your life. Nurture your inner child and expand your self-awareness. Avoid the temptation to feel a little cocky (no names please) or the fates slice you down to size. Ouch!
SCORPIO (OCT. 24 - NOV. 22) No matter how hard you try to keep a lid on certain secrets, they are splashed on the front page. Thank you Jupiter and Mars. Thanks a heap. Prepare for the karmic shift by finding a new age connection. Avoid astrology; I don't need the competition.
SAGITTARIUS (NOV. 23 - DEC. 22) Gay Archers find new meaning in friendships when Jupiter conjuncts Mars. The secret is to join in the dance rather conduct the band from a podium. Can you go with the flow or will you just be another puddle? As long as you are not a drip.....
CAPRICORN (DEC. 23 - JAN. 20) Jupiter conjunct Mars and almost guarantees a big juicy payoff in any big juicy corporate affair. Pink Caps are catapulted into the starchamber, so fasten your seat belt and prepare for take off. Please be a benevolent dictator and not a petty despot.
AQUARIUS (JAN. 21 - FEB. 19) Extensive, glorious international travel and a genuine thirst for learning is in the stars. While 'sage' was never your middle name, you now build a reputation for wise insights. Is this the mind numbing Aqueerian who we all know and love?
PISCES (FEB. 20 - MARCH 20) There was a man on the beach who, in an attempt to impress others, mistakenly placed a potato in the back of his swimsuit instead of the front. Guppies are blissfully unaware that there is a potato bulging in the back of their swimsuit. Just laugh and make fries.
© 2004 MADAM LICHTENSTEIN, LLC., All Rights Reserved.