Pictured: Soap hunk Thom Bierdz has 36 other soap hunks on top of him? So claims "CBS Soaps In Depth." Bryan Batt - A Legend! in the making.
I'm getting too old for this. Not writing this column—many of my colleagues have shown that you can do this into your mid-100s. No, I'm talking about quick trips. Over my birthday weekend, I zipped to NYC for a frantic 48 hours, culminating in a performance of Charles Busch's "The Third Story," which just extended its run at the Lucille Lortel Theatre. My party was joined by Sarah Jessica Parker, Seth Rudesky and their friends who came out to support the divine Charles and pay homage to Kathleen Turner. I saw this show in its premier production in La Jolla, and Busch has done wonders making it stronger, sharper and sassier. The addition of Turner should seem a slam-dunk, but she's not a natural fit to this type of humor. And she doesn't have much to laugh about. With her rheumatoid arthritis, she's learned to live with varying degrees of pain. A couple of days after I saw her, she had an accident walking off-stage and injured her knee which prompted canceling three shows. When Turner returned, she was sporting a knee brace and cane. The show must go on.
I must mention that Busch is teaming up with Lypsinka, Bryan Batt and Whoopi Goldberg for a performance of the play "Legends!" Of course, you remember this is the play that first toured the U.S. with Mary Martin and Carol Channing and, more recently, hobbled across the country with Joan Collins and Linda Evans. This special one-night-only show will take place March 23 and benefit Friends in Deed, the crisis center for life-threatening illness. You can get more info at www.FriendsInDeed.org .
Speaking of benefits, last week was the fourth annual "Broadway Backwards" show, which raised money for NY's Gay and Lesbian Center. This show features gender-bending performances by many of our favorite people. Florence Henderson did "Nothin' Like a Dame" while fondling a chorus boy's crotch, Alan Cumming did "Rainbow High," Jai Rodriguez sang "Listen", Cheyenne Jackson told Sandra Bernhard, "You're The Top," which she most certainly is ( he also admitted to giving good head, which we're sure is true ) . Clips can be found on BillyMasters.com .
Elsewhere in NYC, I got cozy in an elevator with Christopher Meloni. Surveillance footage will show me petting his big dog which, alas, is not a euphemism.
While I was in NYC, James Franco was in Cambridge being honored as the Hasty Pudding Man of the Year. During the show, one of those rascally Harvard boys came out in a cow costume. For "Milk". Get it? And after Franco donned the traditional high heels and bra, he was supposed to be presented with the "pudding pot". Instead, he was given a baggie of pot—which was quickly confiscated by someone dressed like Michael Phelps. There's that Ivy League humor. You can watch the ceremony on BillyMasters.com .
Our own Thom Bierdz is being honored for his daytime work from decades ago! "CBS Soaps In Depth" magazine recently compiled a list of the top 100 daytime hunks of all time, and Bierdz was named number 37. This might not sound like a major accomplishment, but he's been off "The Young and the Restless" for 20 years! SoapHunks.net did a list of the 100 most memorable moments in daytime and ranked his death scene at number 10—just two down from Joan Crawford filling in for her daughter on "Secret Storm"! I'm sure you all know that Bierdz is an extremely talented painter, and his work can be found on ThomBierdz.com . Of course, you should also check out www.BillyMasters.com . Why? We just uncovered a photo of Tom painting in the nude—and sporting an incredibly impressive appendage. Let's just say painting really gets his juices flowing—and flowing and flowing!
It's nothing new to find out that a soap actor or model has posed nude or stripped. But we've been hearing some salacious stories about a teen heartthrob who's the star of a show on Nickelodeon! You've probably seen the commercials for "Spectacular," which looks a lot like "High School Musical" with less talented people ( if that's possible ) . The male lead is Nolan Gerard Funk, and he's an actor with a past ( cue scary music ) . He was a stripper in gay bars! During his stint working at Micky's and MJ's, he went by the stage name of "TJ". And, while never exposing all, he did get his large uncut penis aroused ( bringing in more tips, I'm sure ) . You can check him out on our Web site. Rumor has it he's straight. Other rumors have it that a larger tip got a closer encounter. Hmmm...
Our "Ask Billy" question is from Charlie in Atlanta: "I just came back from London where I saw him before, but on stage he looked awfully buff. Do you know if he's pumped up?"
This production, which is nominated for Best Revival at the Olivier Awards, has been doing very good business and reminding people that Graham actually can act. And sing! What you didn't mention is that Graham looks quite delightful as "Zaza". But, to answer your question, I found a photo of him sitting backstage wearing only pantyhose, and his body does look decidedly buff. I'll run it on BillyMasters.com .
When I'm petting Meloni's dog and Franco's milking a cow, it's time to leave the barnyard end yet another column. You know, I can sympathize with Miss Turner because bad knees run on my father's side. On my mother's side, it's bad hips. In 10 years, I'll probably be in a wheelchair! But even incapacitated, I'll still find time to bring you the best gossip at www.BillyMasters.com . Feel free to write me at Billy@BillyMasters.com, and I promise to get back to you before Cheyenne shows off his oral abilities—on stage and off! So, until next time, remember, one man's gossip is another man's bible.
