"It exploded in my mouth. I wasn't expecting that." Nya on the "And Just Like That..." season finale, after she "ate the black one." Oh, that Michael Patrick Kingso clever.
People these days are very quick to toss around the term "stalker." If Cyrano de Bergerac were alive today, he'd be a stalker. Correction, he'd be a stalker AND a catfish.
Think about it. He's writing the words and feeding them to a hot guy. They plan a date and, poof, out comes Gérard Depardieu (or Peter Dinklagedepending on the version you're watching)! The point is, there was a time when people would pursue the object of their affection with flowers, or surprise them with candy, or sonnets. It used to be called romantic. Today it would be called a felony.
Some actual stalkers are in the news. Anderson Cooper has a stalker. Gerald Hurt turned up at Anderson's home four times last yearwell, that's what happens when you live in a former firehouse easily found on any NYC map!
The first time, Gerry rang the bell and claimed he had "a package for Mr. Cooper"I'll bet he did! Coop wasn't home. The second time, Coop answered the door and Hurt attempted to grab him...we just don't know where. The third time, Cooper's ex, Benjamin Maisani, arrived at the house to find Hurt waiting by the door. He gave Benji his name and phone numberwhich led to Anderson getting a restraining order.
At the fourth and final incident, Hurt ignored the restraining order and attempted to enter the home. I know it's usually three strikes and you're out, but the gays aren't big baseball fans. Hurt will serve 30 days in prison for ignoring the restraining order.
Drew Barrymore has a stalker of her own, thank you very much. She was being interviewed by singer Renée Rapp at the 92nd Street Y in Manhattan. In the middle of the show, a man rushed the stage and shouted, "Drew Barrymore! I'm Chad Michael Busto. You know who I am. I need to see you at some point while you're in New York."
Security stopped Busto, and Rapp whisked Drew offstage. When they returned to the stage, Drew joked to Rapp, "You are my Kevin Costner!" Days later, Busto was seen in the Long Island neighborhood where he thought Drew lived. He was reportedly "riding a bicycle up into private driveways and stating to area residents that he was looking for Drew Barrymore's residence."
The police detained him for questioning. After he was let go, they changed their mindthere WAS just cause to charge him with stalking. They canvassed the area with flyers, and he was arrested in a neighboring town the next day. He's been charged with stalking in the fourth degree.
The dancers suing Lizzo are speaking out against what they call "victim shaming." The suit, you may recall, stems from Lizzo "making them" go to a strip club in Amsterdam and brandishing a banana in a sexual manner. There's more to the complaint, but you get the gist. Lizzo has retained legal barracuda Marty Singerwho has produced numerous photos and videos of Lizzo and the dancers at the clubs in question, looking like they were all having a great time. The dancers' lawyer, Neama Rahmani, is undeterred. "We have no plans to back down. Let's see if Singer can actually try a case in a courtroom instead of the media." For his part, Singer claims, "Lizzo intends to sue for malicious prosecution after she prevails and these specious claims are dismissed."
After all these dramatic stories, I think it's time for some good news. And what's better than celebrating two hot guys getting married? Last week, comedian Matteo Lane tied the knot with his short-term beau, Rodrigo Aburto. How short-term, you might ask? Matteo started following Rodrigo on Instagram back in March. They started texting shortly thereafter. Rodrigo flew from Mexico to NYC for a visit at the end of April. And just like that, they're married. That's not a whirlwindthat's a tornado! While they certainly make a dashing couple, and I obviously wish them well, I think it might be a tad too soon to send them a gift. Maybe for their anniversary.
During the season two finale of And Just Like That..., we finally got to see Kim Cattrall's cameo. More than we expected, less than anyone wanted (and by anyone, I mean the viewers, not the cast).
I found it interesting that in season one, none of the characters were talking to Samantha, and yet everyone was always talking about (or texting with) Samantha. In between seasons one and two, they reconciled. And we know this because in season two nobody ever talked about (or texted with) Samantha.
I decided to rewatch every episode of Sex and the City, the two movies, and season one of AJLT before watching season two. And you know what? None of it is as bad as I recalled. It (almost) flowsaside from some glaring inconsistencies. But while there were always many characters, mostly we only saw them through the eyes of the leads. Why? Because that's all we needed to know. In the current series, we have lots of information about lots of people we don't know or care aboutwith the notable exception of Seema, who is fantastic and well integrated.
Not surprisingly, the "Ask Billy" question of Frank in Dallas is on topic: "What do you know about Mario Cantone's sexy poet boyfriend on And Just Like That...? He's so dreamyand Mario's ass was hot, too!"
I'll be sure to pass your fond wishes along to Mario. As to his onscreen beau, that would be the very sexy 27-year-old Sebastiano Pigazzi. He hails from Rome, although he was raised in the US. This is not his first time playing gayalthough some whisper he doesn't play that way in real life. Still, we can take a little time to enjoy the view.
He was previously seen playing a teen on HBO's We Are Who We Are. In fact, every inch of him has been seen on that series and...well, I have some bad news. Let's just say there was some padding in his AJLT uniform. On the other hand, the nudes were after he had been in the water. Shrinkage, y'know. There are growers and there are showers and they're all on BillyMasters.com .
When And Just Like That... is getting ready to spring a Skipper cameo on us, we've definitely come to the end of another column. And just like that, Bob Barker died. Well, not just like that. At 99, it wasn't particularly unexpected. Still, we salute his long and storied career. For your more animalistic urges, check out www.BillyMasters.com the site that is neither spayed nor neutered. If you have a non-pet-related question, write to Billy@BillyMasters.com and I'll get back to you before I hear the Almighty tell me to "come on down"you don't seriously think I'll be going up, do you? Until next time, remember, one man's filth is another man's bible.