Banned by Google
Alex Chiu sells immortality devices and "gorgeouspils". The "immortality devices" are a pair of rings you wear that align your chi, or chakras, or some other such mystical bullshit. The "gorgeouspils" make you more beautiful—really! A hundred years ago Alex would have been wandering the countryside in a circus wagon peddling his warez. Nowadays he has the Internets. He's made a fortune on this crap... so much so that, in the name of consumer protection, his site has been removed from Google's listings.
ministry of funny hats
So you're wearing your eternal life rings and you've taken your gorgeouspil, to really complete your ensemble you need to don a Thought Screen Helmet. With this helmet you'll not only be stylin', you'll also be safe from alien abductions. If they can't scan your brain they can't find you to abduct you! Directions for assembly of this fashion statement can be found at StopAbductions.com . Honestly, the lengths some people will go to avoid a good anal probing. I just don't understand that at all.
Calling all Mad Scientists
Get your submissions together for the A-Prize! All you have to do to win is create a new form of life in one of four categories: natural biological, genetically engineered biological, synthetic biological, and synthetic nonbiological. You can think of it as an X-Prize for mad scientists. The prize is sponsored by the Lifeboat Foundation, an organization whose goal is to prevent "existential risks." I think that's something like being locked in a room forever, or gunning down an arab on the beach, but I could be wrong.
Maybe that graphic design career isn't out of reach
After all the previous heavy pseudoscience of the previous sites, I felt it was time to lowbrow with some dick jokes. This blog entry features some pretty incredibly bad logo designs. I wonder how anyone could have designed these and not seen the unfortunate nature of them. Then again, I can't believe Children's Memorial here in Chicago has "Where children come first" as it's slogan. Everytime I hear it I think "Well, when they get a little older they'll be able to hold out a bit longer."