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Billy Masters
by Billy Masters

This article shared 724 times since Mon Aug 30, 2021
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"I wasn't looking forward to this conversation. But you and your questions and your reintroduction to some of my past enlightened me [and] inspirited me, and I eagerly took the bait."—Ed Asner on Billy Masters LIVE. The two episodes we did are amongst my favorites. He was not only a legendary actor, but a good guy and a great sport. Rest in peace.

People often ask me if I'm an "influencer." Honey, I was an influencer before the term existed. Months ago, I made a joke about Rachel Campos waiting for The View to ask her to replace Meghan McCain. If you don't know, Rachel is an alum of The Real World: San Francisco. She is married to a Real World: Boston alum, Sean Duffy, who is a former Congressional representative from Wisconsin. And she's a conservative, despite living with Pedro Zamora and perhaps having a romance with Puck! She's twice been a finalist for The View panel, so I quipped that perhaps the third time's a charm. Apparently, someone at Fox News read that and hired her as a co-host for the weekend edition of Fox & Friends. I only know this because she made a jab at Dr. Jill Biden that I won't bother repeating.

Once again, I get to say I told you first. Weeks ago, I reported that Rachel Maddow would either step away from her MSNBC show or seriously cut back if she renewed her contract. Now comes word that she's signed a multi-year deal, which includes scaling back her show next season from five nights a week to once weekly.

It's time to give you an update about Billy Masters LIVE. Our live chat show has been on hiatus after completing a very busy Pride Month. I hoped to be back after Labor Day, but some professional opportunities will be taking me out of the country for most of September. Fear not—we'll be back in October!

ABC has planned a first for the upcoming season of Dancing with the Stars. After years of discussion, the show will feature a same-sex competitive dancing pair. YAY! But, does it have to be JoJo Siwa? I know that two women together is less threatening to the American public, but would it really be so bad seeing someone like Greg Louganis doing the samba with Derek Hough? The full cast will be revealed on Good Morning America on Sept. 8, and the new season begins Sept. 20.

Congratulations to the joyous Jenifer Lewis, who has been cast in the upcoming Showtime series I Love This For You. She'll play the iron-fisted CEO of a home-shopping network who makes Miranda Priestly look like Snow White! This was a highly coveted role—I'd love to tell you who she beat out, but I'd have to kill you.

Faithful readers were probably as perplexed as I was when reporting the casting of Aaron Carter in the Las Vegas company of Naked Boys Singing! I was skeptical that the venture would get far, but I didn't expect him to pull out so abruptly—I hate when men do that! "We are disappointed and a bit embarrassed to announce that Aaron Carter will not be appearing in the Las Vegas production of Naked Boys Singing! Within a few days of the announcement, it became clear, for multiple reasons, that Aaron's participation … was not going to work out. We requested his letter of resignation and received it on Monday," stated producers. I thought only people like the president of the United States asked for letters of resignation. Onto the good news—strike that, GREAT news. A number of stunning talented guys are in the cast: David Hernandez, from American Idol; Matthew Ludwinski, from Going Down in LA-LA Land; Chris Salvatore, from Eating Out; Marcus Terrell, from America's Got Talent; and Vegas headliner Louis D'Aprile. The 11-week residency begins Sept. 15. Details are at . BTW, you can check out every inch of Ludwinski and Salvatore on our website.

Elton John can buy anything—and probably anybody. So what do you get him for his birthday? This was the quandary Ed Sheeran had, until inspiration struck. Sir Elton revealed, "For my birthday this year, he gave me a giant marble penis. I don't know if that's because I've always been a prick or what; it's really big, it's beautifully made." But the question remains—is this his first giant marble penis? And where is he displaying it? The loo? Inquiring minds...

Our "Ask Billy" question comes from Tom in Palm Springs: "Today there was a picture of NPH [Neil Patrick Harris] that showed him on vacation in Croatia wearing only swim trunks. I noted a prominently discernable penile shaft and head. Check it out."

First off, Neil captioned the photo as, "165 pounds soaking wet"—so I hate him for that. As for his penis, yes, I see what appears to be an inch or so of shaft and the outline of a head. As a point of reference, note his hand is also in the shot, and his thumb is larger. Of course, we saw all of Neil in Gone Girl—but, as I always say, never judge a penis flaccid (adding water doesn't help). Should you be interested, you can see it on .

When Elton's marble penis weighs more than Neil Patrick Harris soaking wet, it's time to end yet another column. Speaking of being all wet, Ryan Phillippe posted some photos from a New Mexico pond with his son Deacon—often referred to as his "look-alike son." And he really is. So if you want to see a wet, shirtless Ryan then and now, head on over to—the site that is multigenerational. If you have questions of a less familial nature, send them along to, and I promise to get back to you before Sir Elton holds his next birthday party at Naked Boys Singing: Las Vegas! Until next time, remember: One man's filth is another man's bible.

This article shared 724 times since Mon Aug 30, 2021
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