Windy City Media Group Frontpage News

THE VOICE OF CHICAGO'S GAY, LESBIAN, BI, TRANS AND QUEER COMMUNITY SINCE 1985

home search facebook twitter join
Gay News Sponsor Windy City Times 2022-03-16
DOWNLOAD ISSUE
Donate

Sponsor
Sponsor
Sponsor

  NIGHTSPOTS

Billy Masters
by Billy Masters
2016-04-06

This article shared 3640 times since Wed Apr 6, 2016
facebook twitter pin it google +1 reddit email


"As a dude, I like to hang out with a guy with a big penis—that's why I like firemen. I'm just saying, I don't need a guy with a big penis—I want a guy with a big penis."—Comedian Christopher Titus has strong views on penises. Although he's heterosexual ( and twice-married ), he's always been one of our allies. So if he wants a big penis, who am I to say no?

The German word "schadenfreude" refers to deriving pleasure at someone else's misfortune. While I can't say I'm guilty of this on a regular basis, there is one exception—when someone with an enviable physique gets fat. It's a horrible thing to admit, but it really does give me pleasure. In some ways, I like the person more because they go up and down like the rest of us—with the exception of Carnie Wilson, who famously said, "What does it matter if I go up and down 20 pounds?" When does "down" kick in?

Then there's Wentworth Miller. This week, he publicly acknowledged a meme which shows him shirtless in his Prison Break prime next to a photo of him a few years later, significantly heavier. Apparently this meme annoyed Went because at the time of his weight gain, he spiraled downhill mentally and was suicidal. He said, "In 2010, at the lowest point in my adult life, I was looking everywhere for relief/comfort/distraction. And I turned to food. It could have been anything. Drugs. Alcohol. Sex. But eating became the one thing I could look forward to."

Why, oh why, didn't he choose sex? If he had chosen sex and alcohol, maybe I would have had a chance. While I don't wish him pain, it is hard to have too much sympathy for someone who gained weight after a large part of his success came from showing off his once-hot body. As it turns out, this meme had two positive ramifications for Wentworth: 1 ) It reminded him that those tough days were behind him and b ) it showed him smiling. He was happy. Well, of course he was—he had probably just eaten!

A former security guard for Elton John is suing the singer for sexual harassment. Jeffrey Wenninger says that in 2014, John repeatedly tried to touch his genitalia. Doesn't he realize that's how many of us gay men say hello? If I were sued by everyone whose penis I've "mistakenly" touched, Dick Cavett would be first in line! In one of the instances, Elton allegedly tweaked Wenninger's nipples and said, "You gorgeous thing, you." Another time, Elton allegedly tried to put his hands down Jeffrey's pants. And on another occasion, Elton said, "Get your todger out." I had to look that one up. Apparently, "todger" means penis. See? This is an educational column.

Last week, I spent a few blissful hours in NYC catching some marvelous shows. I'm not even sure how to describe Something Rotten—it's as if Spamalot and Book of Mormon had a baby, which was raised by The Producers. It's irreverent, it's outrageous, and it's hysterical.

The story of two brothers trying to one-up William Shakespeare is crazy enough. Throw in some catchy tunes and witty lyrics with triple entendres which send up virtually every show in Broadway history. Add in great direction and choreography that makes a chorus line of old women in walkers seem tame. And it all comes together in Something Rotten—one of the best shows I've ever seen. While Brian d'Arcy James and John Cariani are the "stars," the show is ably stolen by Christian Borle ( as a buff rock star of a Shakespeare ) and Brad Oscar ( the lesser-known befuddled nephew of Nostradamus ). There's not a bad performance on that stage. I was certain I knew one of the sexy men skillfully playing various roles in the ensemble. Sure enough, it was Aleks Pevec—who I vividly remembered from the 2007 LA production of Chess. That's yet another reason to check out Something Rotten.

My next theatrical stop was Charles Busch's Cleopatra. At this point, it's almost silly to trot out superlatives about what Charles and his troupe do. I am repeatedly astonished by the skill, talent, and love that his efforts convey. As usual, the entire run sold out even before the first preview. But Busch has earned a loyal following and always delivers to us, his disciples. The production has the joy and energy of kids putting on a show in their backyard—and that joy and energy comes right back at them from the audience. Charles' Cleo is kinda like if Susan Hayward played the role, with more than a dash of Mae West. He steals snatches from Claudette Colbert, Vivien Leigh, Elizabeth Taylor ... and even Barbra Streisand. ( You have to see it. ) Busch is surrounded by a fabulous cast—most notably Tony Sheldon ( from "Priscilla" ), who plays Caesar, wife Calpurnia and one of Caesar's successors, Marcus Lepidus. What Tony does with his voice is mind-boggling—very reminiscent of early Peter Sellers from "The Goon Show." Although the run is technically sold out, there are a few tickets being released before each performance. Try to snag one at SmartTix.com—the show closes on April 17.

Our "Ask Billy" question comes from Patrick in Detroit: "I've heard dancer Roberto Bolle is gay. Is he? He's one of the hottest guys I've ever seen. And do you have any nude photos of him?"

Roberto Bolle is an Italian ballet dancer who is 42 years old—pretty old, by ballet standards. He made history in 2009 when he was named a principal dancer with the American Ballet Theatre—the first time an Italian male was given that honor. The New York Times called him "utterly gorgeous ( in both looks and dance )"—and who am I to argue with them? He's pretty cagey about his personal life, although rumors abound.

Things heated up a few years ago when a French magazine published an interview where Roberto appeared to come out. He quickly retracted that announcement: "My statement about the subject of homosexuality was taken completely out of context and misinterpreted—probably because of my imperfect command of French. I never speak about my private life and I will not start now, so the news of the alleged 'outing' is not based in truth." As to your second question, he has only appeared nude onstage once—in Naples in 2010. While the theatre confiscated all cameras, someone miraculously snuck a video. If you want to see every inch of Roberto, check out BillyMasters.com .

When Bolle's dancing as fast as he can, it's definitely time to end yet another column. Boy, this was a long one ( words I suspect Roberto hears quite frequently ). So I'll briefly tell you to check out www.BillyMasters.com, the site that's always en pointe. Send your questions to Billy@BillyMasters.com, and I promise to get back to you before someone makes a gay porn called The Artful Todger! So, until next time, remember: One man's filth is another man's bible.


This article shared 3640 times since Wed Apr 6, 2016
facebook twitter pin it google +1 reddit email

  ARTICLES YOU MIGHT LIKE

Gay News

Billy Masters
2022-05-16
"Why is that so gross? We kiss each other where we pee."—Sarah Silverman responds to The View co-hosts' disgust that she shares a toothbrush with her boyfriend. Even more priceless is Sara Haines' reaction, which you ...


Gay News

COMEDY Netflix holds 'Stand Out: An LGBTQ+ Celebration'
2022-05-09
On May 7, Billy Eichner hosted Netflix Is A Joke: The Festival's "Stand Out: An LGBTQ+ Celebration" at the Greek Theatre in Los Angeles. The historic celebration featured LGBTQ+ comedy legends and emerging talent. Highlights included ...


Gay News

Billy Masters
2022-05-09
"Walt Disney is looking down & he's not happy ok? He said whatever happened to my beautiful Magic Kingdom?"—While I am delighted Mr. Trump is communing with the late Walt Disney, I'd much rather hear an ...


Gay News

Billy Masters
2022-05-02
"I'm super-conscious that I'm close to death. And it doesn't really bother me that much. What bothers me is that my body is, you know, basically not mine! My knees are not mine, my hips are not mine, my shoulder's not ...


Gay News

Billy Masters
2022-04-25
"1. Some outfits are never sent to the back of the closet. 2. It's really more of a 'break glass in case of emergency' situation."—Lynda Carter reveals that she has her classic Wonder Woman outfit framed ...


Gay News

Billy Masters
2022-04-18
"I'd never done that before—on camera, at least. … I don't think."—Harry Styles discussed shooting sex scenes for his upcoming movie My Policeman (with both Emma Corrin and David Dawson) and Don't Worry Darling (wit ...


Gay News

Billy Masters
2022-04-11
"George Stevens is making The Greatest Story Ever Told, and Jesus Christ is parting the waters out there on Culver."—Lucille Ball discussing one of the various things shot on Desilu soundstages in a 1963 interview. This ...


Gay News

Billy Masters
2022-04-04
Trevor Noah wrapping up his monologue at the Grammy Awards: "We're gonna be listening to some music, we're gonna be dancing, we're gonna be singing, we're gonna be keeping people's names out of our mouths ...


Gay News

Billy Masters: Oscars, Will Smith, Steve Grand and more
2022-03-28
"Imagine this little girl in the backseat of a white Ford Focus. Look into her eyes—you see a queer, openly queer woman of color. An Afro-Latina, who found her strength in life through art. And that's ...


Gay News

Billy Masters
2022-03-21
"I'm proud of whatever small part I've played in continuing Norman's great legacy, but it's mixed with sadness, because I know how many trans and non-binary and queer kids are still having those sleepless nights. I ...


Gay News

Billy Masters
2022-03-14
This is how Simon Rex started his acceptance speech for Best Male Lead in Red Rocket. The only person he neglected to mention was the one who revealed his real penis to the world in 1996: ME! Yes, his infamous jerk-off ...


Gay News

Billy Masters
2022-03-07
When I'm at my Hollywood home, I often get invited to swanky soirees like seeing Taylor Dayne at Herb Albert's Vibrato in Bel Air. The talented Taylor calls these intimate gatherings "Dayne's Den," and it was a ...


Gay News

Lady Gaga, Billy Porter, Eric McCormack to co-host 30th Elton John AIDS Foundation Oscars Viewing Party
2022-03-02
Elton John AIDS Foundation announced Academy Award and 12-time Grammy-winning singer/songwriter/actress Lady Gaga; Emmy, Tony and Grammy winner Billy Porter; and Emmy-winning actor Eric McCormack (Will & Grace) are set ...


Gay News

Billy Masters: Tom Holland, Todrick Hall and more
2022-02-28
"I hope I shaved my nipples on those days because I have the most embarrassing chest hair!" Tom Holland discusses seeing his bare areolae in Uncharted in IMAX You know how I relish sharing stories of woe, ...


Gay News

Billy Masters: Olympians, Channing Tatum and more
2022-02-21
Finland's Remi Lindholm after completing the 50-kilometer cross-country skiing event at the Olympics. Perhaps his penis wouldn't be so cold if he hadn't finished 28th! Getting indoors didn't help much. "You can guess which body part ...


 



Copyright © 2022 Windy City Media Group. All rights reserved.
Reprint by permission only. PDFs for back issues are downloadable from
our online archives. Single copies of back issues in print form are
available for $4 per issue, older than one month for $6 if available,
by check to the mailing address listed below.

Return postage must accompany all manuscripts, drawings, and
photographs submitted if they are to be returned, and no
responsibility may be assumed for unsolicited materials.
All rights to letters, art and photos sent to Nightspots
(Chicago GLBT Nightlife News) and Windy City Times (a Chicago
Gay and Lesbian News and Feature Publication) will be treated
as unconditionally assigned for publication purposes and as such,
subject to editing and comment. The opinions expressed by the
columnists, cartoonists, letter writers, and commentators are
their own and do not necessarily reflect the position of Nightspots
(Chicago GLBT Nightlife News) and Windy City Times (a Chicago Gay,
Lesbian, Bisexual and Transegender News and Feature Publication).

The appearance of a name, image or photo of a person or group in
Nightspots (Chicago GLBT Nightlife News) and Windy City Times
(a Chicago Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual and Transgender News and Feature
Publication) does not indicate the sexual orientation of such
individuals or groups. While we encourage readers to support the
advertisers who make this newspaper possible, Nightspots (Chicago
GLBT Nightlife News) and Windy City Times (a Chicago Gay, Lesbian
News and Feature Publication) cannot accept responsibility for
any advertising claims or promotions.

 
 

TRENDINGBREAKINGPHOTOS







Sponsor
Sponsor
Sponsor


 



Donate


About WCMG      Contact Us      Online Front  Page      Windy City  Times      Nightspots      OUT! Guide     
Identity      BLACKlines      En La Vida      Archives      Advanced Search     
Windy City Queercast      Queercast Archives     
Press  Releases      Join WCMG  Email List      Email Blast      Blogs     
Upcoming Events      Todays Events      Ongoing Events      Bar Guide      Community Groups      In Memoriam      Outguide Categories      Outguide Advertisers      Search Outguide      Travel      Dining Out      Privacy Policy     

Windy City Media Group publishes Windy City Times,
The Bi-Weekly Voice of the Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual and Trans Community.
5315 N. Clark St. #192, Chicago, IL 60640-2113 • PH (773) 871-7610 • FAX (773) 871-7609.