"When I cheat on my partner, he's cheating on me at the same time at the other end of the same guy."—Dan Savage tells the ladies of The View how he and his partner define "cheating." He may have gotten more than he bargained for when guest co-host Jason Biggs put his arm around him and said, "What are you doing after the show?"
I don't want to cause a panic, but have you heard that we're going through a national catastrophe? Now, I don't know all of the details because this isn't really my department, but I'm sure many of you have heard rumblings of this travesty unfolding: Hollywood is suffering a severe shortage of lesbians.
Celebrities of the Sapphic persuasion have been forced to mix and match partners seemingly at whim. Admittedly, this is an age-old practice that I believe first came to prominence with the establishment of the U-Haul. But now it's gotten out of control. Reportedly, Jodie Foster is currently dating Alexandra Hedison. If that name sounds familiar, it's because she was previously involved with Ellen DeGeneres ( in between Portia and that wackjob who spoke to aliens ). This drought of dames has even forced Anne Heche to go back to men. Stop the insanity!
And that leads to our revelation about actress Michelle Rodriguez—she's bisexual. This is perhaps the most shocking announcement since Elton John married that Italian chick. Like Elton, the sexual preference of Rodriguez was pretty much taken for granted. The problem is, she consistently denied it ... and vehemently. Back in 2011, she was asked specifically about the rumors on the red carpet for Battle: Los Angeles: "I'm not a lesbian. Yeah! Mitchie likes sausage." ( Yes, that one shocked even me. Who knew that Battle: Los Angeles had a red-carpet premiere? ) Rodriguez seemed to have carpets on the mind during a recent interview with Entertainment Weekly: "I don't talk about what I do with my vagina. I've never walked the carpet with anyone, so they wonder: What does she do with her vagina? Plus, I play a butchy girl all the time, so they assume I'm a lesbo. Eh, they're not too far off." She added, "I've gone both ways. I do as I please."
Although they may be running out of real lesbians, Hollywood has figured out that television lesbians are good for ratings. Within moments of her first appearance on Two and a Half Men, Amber Tamblyn found herself gainfully employed. No sooner had the character of Charlie's previously unknown lesbian daughter showed up in the season premiere, than her status changed from recurring to a series regular.
David Bromstad has caused a bit of a flurry within spitting distance of Fort Lauderdale—and it's entirely possible some of that spit will land on my property! The openly gay designer will be hosting a charity event for the Salvation Army—which, as you all know, has a long history of anti-gay rhetoric. Why would he do such a thing? As he writes on Facebook, "I've read your feedback on my participation with the Salvation Army USA, as an openly gay person whom just happens to also be a celebrity. I took the Salvation Army's request to participate in their fundraiser as one step in the right direction towards equality. If we simply separate ourselves from those that we assume appose us or our beliefs then we will never make strides in the right direction." I have always found Bromstad to be not only talented but also a lovely person. That said, I'm not sure which is more troublesome: the incorrect use of the word "whom," the misspelled "appose" or calling himself a "celebrity."
The boys of Queer Eye for the Straight Guy know a thing or two about looking good. These five gay men were trailblazers not only for being openly gay, but for encouraging straight men to embrace their own secret desire to look as hot as their gay counterparts. Believe it or not, it's been 10 years since the show launched. And, in case you don't remember, things were mighty different in 2003. For one thing, I had only been in print for eight years—and there were twice as many gay papers back then as there are now.
But enough about me. The Bravo network was known for classic films, some theater, opera, etc. This show helped put them on the map as our de facto gay television network ( something that really no other network has touched ) and also helped them rebrand and launch all subsequent reality shows. And now Carson Kressley, Jai Rodriguez, Thom Filicia, Kyan Douglas and Ted Allen will be back on Bravo for a special. Queer Eye Reunion: 10 Years Later will be hosted by ( of course ) Andy Cohen. I can only hope someone flips over a table or storms off the set. The reunion has been taped and will air later this month. For now, we'll share a photo from the set on our website.
Our "Ask Billy" question comes from Jason in Texas: "Who is that tall drink of water on Dancing with the Stars? My God, he's gorgeous. Where did he come from? Is he gay? He looks like a soap star—or at least a model."
Now who could Jason be talking about? Bill Nye, the Science Guy? Nah, he must mean Brant Daugherty, who looks like he could be the love-child of Matt Bomer and James Marsden. Brant is best known for his role on ABC Family's Pretty Little Liars. He was also on what turned out to be the final season of Army Wives. But, what I'm sure is most interesting to my readers is that he has both homosexuality and soaps in his background. Earlier this year, he had a recurring role on Days of Our Lives as Brian, who was trying to get between Sonny and Will. ( Ironically, Brant was one of the actors up for the role of Will ). So, yes, he was playing a gay character. And, lemme just say that his scenes with Sonny were incredibly steamy, as you'll see on BillyMasters.com .
Since I need to fulfill my celebrity skin quota of the week, we bring you Chris Hemsworth, whose luscious ass features prominently in the film Rush. If that's all you're interested in, head on over to our website.
When I'm featuring the right end of a Hemsworth, it's definitely time to end yet another column. For those of you who need a little more, check out www.BillyMasters.com, the site that always leaves you with a happy ending. If you have a question, send it along to me at Billy@BillyMasters.com and I promise to get back to you before I personally fund research to create a child from Matt Bomer and James Marsden. So, until next time, remember, one man's filth is another man's bible.
