"First of all, I love spending time with people that are younger than I am."—Elaine Stritch shares this bit of information on her birthday. Since she just turned 88, I suspect she probably enjoys most people she meets.
Another column, another pope. I've seen 'em come, I've seen 'em go. We just had that Nazi pope who I firmly believe was pushed into retirement after wearing a sombrero in the Popemobile (or perhaps the cardinals discovered that he ordered his handmade leather sandals from Provincetown). Then we had that pope who they left lying out in St. Peter's Square for a week and a half. And who could forget the pope who they killed days after he was installed? Frankly, I've come to view the Vatican as a living, breathing Agatha Christie play. There are even special effects—but since they only have two colors of smoke, those effects really aren't all that special.
Far more exciting to me is news that our own Adam Lambert will be participating in his first ever gay-pride festival. The lucky city to get this honor is Miami Beach—which is noteworthy since it is one of the newer Prides in the country (in its fifth year). And by scheduling their celebration April 14, they get the jump on the usual June festivities. Of course, there will be loads of events leading up to the actual parade and festival—not to mention the presence of yours truly. All the details can be found at MiamiBeachGayPride.com .
Just as I was coming to terms with the terminal illness of Valerie Harper came word of the hospitalization of Ed Asner. On March 12, he became disoriented onstage at Indiana's Maquette Pavilion during the first minutes of his one-man show, FDR. That's a lot of information to take in at once—the most troublesome fact being that he had to be hospitalized in Gary, Ind.! On the bright side, I'm pretty sure that when he got disoriented, he was sitting down. Asner later tweeted, "Reports of my imminent demise are greatly exaggerated. They tell me I am suffering from exhaustion." Phew!
Alas, reports of the imminent demise of Smash may be true. NBC just announced that they are moving the show to Saturdays at 9 p.m., a slot usually filled with replays of shows that no one watched during the week. In making the announcement, the network stressed that they are " committed to airing all 17 episodes"—which usually means one should not expect more than that. Ironically, ratings for the show went up slightly last week.
Who had this week in the pool for when Ryan Seacrest and Julianne Hough would break up? How on Earth could this happen? Could Ryan no longer smile at the premiere of terrible movies? Did Julianne get tired of answering the question, "What's Derek doing tonight?" Or did they both simply get tired of waiting for their wedding night to consummate their love—like our dancing bachelor, Sean Lowe, and his betrothed? These kind of arrangements tend to have a limited shelf life. Just ask Tom Cruise.
Nate Berkus made headlines this week for two separate stories—one personal and one professional. On the business end, he's bouncing back from the failure of his daytime talk show and has just signed a deal to return to television—in prime time! My Lord, if that's what happens when you fail, would someone please cancel this column? Nate's new show, Renovation Nation, is a home makeover competition series and has a 10-episode order from NBC. Each week, two teams will make over a home and then be judged by Nate and his panel of experts. Think of it as Extreme Makeover: Home Edition ... without the bullhorn and orange skin.
As for the personal story, that comes courtesy of our "Ask Billy" question. Walter in San Francisco writes, "I just read that Nate Berkus and his boyfriend were gonna have a baby via surrogate. Really? And who is his boyfriend?"
Let's answer the easy part first—no baby. Well, at least not now. Well, at least according to Nate's reps: "There is no surrogate and no plans for a baby at this time." This is probably wise since Nate has only been with his current beau for about five months—talk about putting the cart before the horse! His boyfriend's name is Jeremiah Brent and he's an interior designer. You may know him as "Miah" (his nickname) from The Rachel Zoe Project. He was the hot assistant before the other hot assistant (Brad Goreski) left to have his own show (It's A Brad Brad World). Jeremiah started out by redecorating Rachel's home, and then became her home-design expert. Reportedly, he did some modeling before getting into design. Yes, he's very hot. And, yes, he's very young (roughly 25-ish). I know you're waiting for me to make some crack about Nate being 41-years-old, but I'm not. In fact, I'm going to embrace it. Why? Hasn't Nate suffered enough? Of course, my opinion might be somewhat biased. While researching this story, I came across enough hot pics of Jeremiah to know I'd sleep with him, too. I suspect you'll feel the same once you check them out on BillyMasters.com .
When I'm bracing myself for bad news about Mary Tyler Moore, it's definitely time to end yet another column. You know what else I discovered while doing my research? Jeremiah has a small tattoo on his back that says, "carpe diem." I wonder how many nights Nate spent trying to decipher that? Eh, he probably hasn't even seen it! But you can see all that and more on www.BillyMasters.com—the site that delivers you something to seize every day. If you've got something or someone you need me to look into, drop a note to Billy@BillyMasters.com and I promise to get back to you before Seacrest announces he's dating Katie Holmes! So, until next time, remember, one man's filth is another man's bible.
