"I have a lot of gay fans because they know that I just accept people as they are. That's not my place to judge. I ain't God and I ain't runnin' for office."—Dolly Parton explains her support for filmmakers (and dear friends) Gary and Larry Lane. Their documentary, Hollywood to Dollywood, won a slew of awards at film festivals and is now available on DVD at www.Hollywood2Dollywood.com .
Our first story has many sections, so I'm going to report it sequentially. It all started when Olympian Ryan Lochte started putting the word out that he'd be interested in doing some television projects. In addition to filming a cameo for 90210, he was throwing his hat into the reality-show ring. First he said he'd like to do Dancing with the Stars—but only if Michael Phelps also competed so he'd have the chance to whip his ass (a visual I find most appealing). He's also like to be the next guy on The Bachelor because he wants to find true love—however, his agents are trying to find $750K for his participation. While these negotiations proceed, reports have surfaced that a former girlfriend is trying to sell some nude photos Lochte sent her when they were dating.
Around the same time, Prince Harry was coming to the United States on holiday. He arrived in Vegas while Lochte was belatedly celebrating his 28th birthday in a pink Speedo. The royal hottie expressed interest in meeting the Olympian at XS nightclub. After some imbibing, the prince challenged Lochte to a swimming race that Lochte won.
Harry left the party first and invited some girls he met at the bar up to his VIP suite. Somehow they all ended up playing a game of strip billiards—something I must confess that I not only haven't played but haven't heard of. Regardless of what they tell you, what happens in Vegas doesn't always stay in Vegas. (Thank God for moi.) One of the revelers happened to snap some photos of the prince nude, which means two things: 1) He's not very bright and 2) He lost the game! In the first photo, he's seen cupping the royal jewels while an anonymous girl crouches behind him. In the second, he is bent over said girl, exposing the royal buttocks.
Initially the British press was reticent to run the photos. Why? Because the palace "asked" them not to—an intriguing request since we've already seen William's willy and Charles' cock. After a couple of days, The Sun broke ranks and put Harry right on its cover. And you know what happened? His approval rating went UP! Most people feel that he's young, he's single, he's just having fun—who cares? I should add that this is the same public who once saw Fergie as a breath of fresh air, and we know how that turned out. (I believe toe-sucking is the line that one cannot cross.) Since I've never been one to stand on ceremony, I'm happy to run all these naughty bits and regal rears on BillyMasters.com .
Remember Nick Gruber? Calvin Klein's most recent boytoy with a porn past? Since his break-up with the designer, his arrest and subsequent stint in rehab, he's planning to write his memoirs—tentatively titled What Came Between Me and My Calvin. Oh, he's a clever one. A writer who's been approached to "collaborate" with Gruber on the tawdry tale claims that this is the only way Gruber can get "closure" in the wake of his tumultuous two-year relationship with Klein. While shopping it around, he's telling potential publishers that lots of secrets about Klein and his cronies will be revealed. On the record, he's only saying, "Yes, it's true that I'm writing a book." I suspect he's saying that for the benefit of people like me who are not at all convinced that he's ever READ a book.
Our pals at Channel 1 Releasing (i.e., Chi Chi LaRue) have issued a compilation of vintage gay-porn vids from the Catalina and All Worlds catalogues under the title Criminal Cocks. The synopsis reads, "Ripped from the headlines! Porn stars before they became real-life criminals. Grand theft, attempted murder, serial rape, and 1st-degree murder ... these criminal cocks have done it all and now you can see them all on one convenient disc ... compiled for your pleasure." While that's pretty fabulous, the back cover is even better. Alongside stills from the sex scenes included are each guy's real-life mug shot and the crime. BRILLIANT!
Our "Ask Billy" question comes from Mitchell in Cincinnati: "Have you heard any news about the new John Barrowman series that Shonda Rhimes is producing? I haven't heard anything since it was announced."
It's amazing to me how many potential series have involved Barrowman, and how many have either never made it to air or fizzled shortly thereafter. Obviously, he has talent and a following, but he's not had much luck here in the States—but not for lack of trying. Rhimes' Gilded Lilys was ordered by ABC, but the network passed. That meant Barrowman was able to take a role in the upcoming Green Arrow series for The CW. We know precious little about his part (well, not THAT part—his quite large member is readily available on BillyMasters.com ). On the show, he'll be playing a wealthy, sexy, mysterious man who has ties to quite a few characters. He'll initially be recurring with hopes of being a series regular for season two—if, of course, there is a season two.
When Harry's using his penis as a billiards cue, it's time for me to end yet another column. Perhaps that's why he lost. Since we've run long (unlike the prince), let me quickly remind you to check out www.BillyMasters.com, the site with nothing to hide. If you've got a question you'd like me to tackle, send it along to Billy@BillyMasters.com and I promise to get back to you before Nick Gruber appears in Criminal Cocks 2! Until next time, remember, one man's filth is another man's bible.
