Windy City Media Group Frontpage News

THE VOICE OF CHICAGO'S GAY, LESBIAN, BI, TRANS AND QUEER COMMUNITY SINCE 1985

home search facebook twitter join
Gay News Sponsor Windy City Times 2021-09-01
DOWNLOAD ISSUE
Donate

Sponsor
Sponsor

  WINDY CITY TIMES

Billy Masters
by Billy Masters
2011-11-23

This article shared 2201 times since Wed Nov 23, 2011
facebook twitter pin it google +1 reddit email


"I like more of a guy's guy. Like Johnny Depp, James Franco, Ellen DeGeneres."—Sara Gilbert shares her opinion of Bradley Cooper being named People magazine's Sexiest Man Alive. Because, as we all know, Gilbert is known for her discerning taste in men.

Usually my views are not shared by the general public. This point was driven home when I read about the outrage over former porn star Sasha Grey volunteering to read to school children. I understand that it took many people by surprise—the idea that a porn star could read. Other than that, I'm stymied. It's not like she was acting out the stories in children's theater! Here's what made it even more perplexing—on the same day, mainstream news outlets applauded Paris Hilton for visiting orphans in Bali. Isn't that kinda the same thing? OK, there's a difference—Paris wasn't reading to anyone. (It's yet to be proven that she actually CAN read). So why is Hilton being lauded for interacting with children whilst Sasha Grey is being criticized? I'm stumped.

Our next story is about someone trying to get their hands on a Serbian penis. As titillating as that sounds, sadly it's a story about Chaz Bono. As you should all know by now, Chaz had what is referred to as "top surgery"—meaning that during his gender-reassignment surgery, nothing was altered below the waist. Up until now, Bono had said that the options for "bottom surgery" were less than ideal. However, apparently that's changed. Last week, Chaz told Howard Stern that he's planning to undergo "Serbian penis-attachment surgery." He went into graphic detail about what this would entail. I'm going to spare you all of that, except that I believe I saw something similar done on a special episode of"The Iron Chef. I'll sum it up in Bono's own words: "It'll be small, but you're going to be able to urinate through it." I hate to say it, but I have a funny feeling I dated that Serb!

Here's a story that also made a bit of controversy. A 26-year-old Welsh rugby player broke his neck and had a stroke while attempting to do a backflip. OK, it's sad, but not controversial—except for what happened when he regained consciousness: "I was gay when I woke up and I still am ... I wasn't interested in women anymore. I was definitely gay. I had never been attracted to a man before—I'd never even had any gay friends." He says that with his newfound gayness, he decided to focus on, what else, looking better! He immediately started working out, lost more than 100 pounds and bleached his hair. I'd have probably done it in the reverse order, but that's just me. He also quit his job in a bank, studied to become a hairdresser and opened his own salon. Somewhere along the way, he picked up a 19-year-old boy in a bar and they are now living together. WOW, that musta been some stroke!

Speaking of rugby, Mickey Rourke is in training for his next film project—a biopic about openly gay rugby star Gareth Thomas. To prepare, Rourke has flown Gareth to Los Angeles to pick up some of his mannerisms. One thing that will be easy for him to replicate is Gareth's loss of eight teeth. Coincidentally, Rourke lost several of his front teeth in a childhood accident. He got them fixed when he was in acting school under dubious circumstances: "I met a gay Chinese doctor and, 'cause I had no money, I let him touch me and he took care of the teeth." Huh??

Didya know The A-List Dallas is on the air? No? Me neither. But apparently, two of the cast members have made it into the news ... well, into this column. One of them is Taylor Garrett, who apparently is conservative and claims to have been the victim of a hate crime—make that two hate crimes. Back in October, he says that someone threw a rock with a note attached to it through his window. Since the rock was in pristine condition and the incident coincided with the show debuting on Logo, skeptics felt this was staged to get some press. More recently, he was attending a birthday party, went out to his car to retrieve a gift and found a guy scratching "Fuck Coulter" onto his car. (Taylor apparently is chummy with Ann Coulter—who is either a biological male or one of the few women to have an Adam's apple.) The guy knocked Taylor to the ground and then fled the scene. Police were called, but Taylor refused what is called "Physical Evidence Section." Some bloggers find this suspicious, especially since he also refused to let detectives look for fingerprints or any other evidence. Hmmmm.

Another cast member is sexy Levi Crocker, who took a nude photo of himself in a mirror. I may not know who he is, but he's on a TV show, he's hot, and he's erect—that's how you land on BillyMasters.com .

Our "Ask Billy" question comes from Frank in Bangor: "I saw on one of those entertainment shows that Jonathan Lipnicki grew up to be a really hot guy. Do you have any photos of him? And does he play for our team?"

I saw those photos, too. Lipnicki, who is best remembered as the kid in Jerry Maguire, has most certainly buffed up. He took a series of scantily clad workout shots, which have somehow found their way onto the Internet. Apparently he's got a blue belt in Brazilian jujitsu—something I didn't even know existed. He's 21, 5'7" and weighs 146—which I believe I weighed in high school! Alas, I really don't know much about his personal life. But after looking at these revealing photos, I did learn that he's Jewish. See for yourself on BillyMasters.com .

When Mickey Rourke is trading sexual favors for dental work, it's time for me to end yet another column. At this point, I'd usually remind you to check out www.BillyMasters.com for the latest gossip. But this week, I'm also going to tell you to check out "Billy's Boudoir," where I explain how I may have inadvertently stumbled into a plural relationship. And since Thanksgiving is upon us, it's important for me to take a moment to thank the people who help me bring this column to you each and every week for the past 16 years. The sources, the proofreaders, the lawyers—they all play an important role. Of course, the most important part of the equation is you, the people I hopefully edify and entertain. If you've got a question you wanna throw my way, send an e-mail along to Billy@BillyMasters.com and I promise to get back to you before I end up on a new Logo show entitled Sister Husbands! So, until next time, remember, one man's filth is another man's bible.


This article shared 2201 times since Wed Nov 23, 2011
facebook twitter pin it google +1 reddit email

  ARTICLES YOU MIGHT LIKE

Gay News

Stage Left Theatre names new artistic director
2021-10-21
Stage Left Theatre announced Bobbi Masters as its new artistic director. Masters has directed plays at theaters around the nation such as No Strings Theatre Company in Las Cruces, New Mexico (The Bald Soprano); and Kitchen ...


Gay News

Billy Masters
2021-10-18
"But we can curl your hair and put lotion on your face at the same time."—William Shatner's response to Prince William's criticism of space tourism. Are there any people less likely to be discussing hair than ...


Gay News

WORLD Plus magazine, The Guardian, Dutch princess, anti-trans ruling
2021-10-17
The largest circulated HIV publication in the country, Plus, unveiled its 25 Amazing People of the Year, per a press release. Just a few of the individuals are actor Billy Porter; Mandisa Nikita Dukashe: South African ...


Gay News

SHOWBIZ Superman, TheWrap, Oscar Wilde, Billy Porter, Cher, 'Dragula'
2021-10-17
The ongoing comic Superman: Son of Kal-El, by writer Tom Taylor and artist John Timms, launched in July and saw Jon Kent officially take up the mantle of the Man of Steel now that his father, ...


Gay News

Billy Masters
2021-10-11
"I kept hearing about Fat Bear Week and thought it was a celebration of body positivity within a gay subculture. It turns out it is about actual bears! Either way, I am here for it."—Lynda Carter ...


Gay News

Billy Masters talks Dolly, Katie Couric and more
2021-10-04
"I was so excited when someone told me that Lil Nas X had done my song #Jolene. I had to find it and listen to it immediately … and it's really good. Of course, I love him anyway. I was surprised ...


Gay News

Billy Masters
2021-09-27
"Honey, turn that clock off; I ain't paying no attention to it. Turn it off—turn it off!"—Debbie Allen during her acceptance speech for the Governors Award at the Primetime Emmys. Four co-hosts go in, two come ...


Gay News

Billy Masters on RuPaul and more
2021-09-20
"The reason I said no wasn't because I wasn't proud of who I was, or I didn't want to represent the LGBTQ+ community in any way. It was because Raven Baxter is Raven Baxter is Raven Baxter. And Raven Baxter is ...


Gay News

Billy Masters
2021-09-13
"If you want the most dramatic season ever, do an LGBT version. I think maybe it's the time for The Bachelor to do a gay Bachelor."—Lance Bass pitches his idea to ABC. You may recall that ...


Gay News

Billy Masters
2021-09-06
"I'm so happy to know I have a fan in Maine!"—Joan Rivers in a letter to yours truly sometime in the mid-80s. Massachusetts had just begun using the MA abbreviation instead of Mass! She may have ...


Gay News

NATIONAL Calif. bill, lawsuits, Billy Porter, 'Southern LGBTQ Experiences'
2021-09-05
The California legislature okayed a bill that would launch a pilot program to better track the gender identity and sexual orientation of victims of fatal violence, Gay City News noted. Under AB 1094, or the Sexual ...


Gay News

Billy Masters
2021-08-30
"I wasn't looking forward to this conversation. But you and your questions and your reintroduction to some of my past enlightened me [and] inspirited me, and I eagerly took the bait."—Ed Asner on Billy Masters LIVE. ...


Gay News

SHOWBIZ Billy Porter, 'Death Drop,' Brandi Carlile, vintage films, Gaga
2021-08-29
Billy Porter will direct a queer teen comedy feature titled To Be Real for Amazon Studios, which is being helmed by Gabrielle Union's I'll Have Another Productions, NME.com noted. Porter, who is currently working on his ...


Gay News

Billy Masters
2021-08-23
"When I heard it was going to be done again, it was supposed to be Will Smith and Beyonce, I thought, that's interesting. … I thought that was a great idea. So, I was surprised when I saw how alike it ...


Gay News

Billy Masters
2021-08-16
"It's wonderful so many have supported Britney! I've just heard the news! Wonderful things can happen when we stand together … but not too close because I have just learned that some of you do not ...


 



Copyright © 2021 Windy City Media Group. All rights reserved.
Reprint by permission only. PDFs for back issues are downloadable from
our online archives. Single copies of back issues in print form are
available for $4 per issue, older than one month for $6 if available,
by check to the mailing address listed below.

Return postage must accompany all manuscripts, drawings, and
photographs submitted if they are to be returned, and no
responsibility may be assumed for unsolicited materials.
All rights to letters, art and photos sent to Nightspots
(Chicago GLBT Nightlife News) and Windy City Times (a Chicago
Gay and Lesbian News and Feature Publication) will be treated
as unconditionally assigned for publication purposes and as such,
subject to editing and comment. The opinions expressed by the
columnists, cartoonists, letter writers, and commentators are
their own and do not necessarily reflect the position of Nightspots
(Chicago GLBT Nightlife News) and Windy City Times (a Chicago Gay,
Lesbian, Bisexual and Transegender News and Feature Publication).

The appearance of a name, image or photo of a person or group in
Nightspots (Chicago GLBT Nightlife News) and Windy City Times
(a Chicago Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual and Transgender News and Feature
Publication) does not indicate the sexual orientation of such
individuals or groups. While we encourage readers to support the
advertisers who make this newspaper possible, Nightspots (Chicago
GLBT Nightlife News) and Windy City Times (a Chicago Gay, Lesbian
News and Feature Publication) cannot accept responsibility for
any advertising claims or promotions.

 
 

TRENDINGBREAKINGPHOTOS







Sponsor
Sponsor


 



Donate


About WCMG      Contact Us      Online Front  Page      Windy City  Times      Nightspots      OUT! Guide     
Identity      BLACKlines      En La Vida      Archives      Advanced Search     
Windy City Queercast      Queercast Archives     
Press  Releases      Join WCMG  Email List      Email Blast      Blogs     
Upcoming Events      Todays Events      Ongoing Events      Bar Guide      Community Groups      In Memoriam      Outguide Categories      Outguide Advertisers      Search Outguide      Travel      Dining Out      Privacy Policy     

Windy City Media Group publishes Windy City Times,
The Bi-Weekly Voice of the Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual and Trans Community.
5315 N. Clark St. #192, Chicago, IL 60640-2113 • PH (773) 871-7610 • FAX (773) 871-7609.