"My goal is to get people to watch this show that I love working on and whatever sensationalist photo or press I need to do to get people to tune in, that's what I'll do."—Matthew Bomer explains why he doesn't mind showing as much skin as possible on White Collar. Since he asked, we'll post more skin shots on our website. You're welcome, Matt.
I've loved Henry Cavill since his sizzling nude scene in the first season of The Tudors. I also loved him in Tristan + Isolde (which I realize no one but me saw). I always felt he was someone who was better than the parts he got. In fact, Empire magazine (which no one in this country reads) called him "the most unlucky man in Hollywood." That's because he always comes thisclose to landing a number of plum parts. He was second choice to Christian Bale for Batman Begins. He almost got to re-invigorate the James Bond franchise, but the powers that be went with the older Daniel Craig. He was a favorite for a role in Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire that, instead, went to Robert Pattinson. And he was McG's choice to play Clark Kent in Superman Returns. When McG pulled out and was replaced by Bryan Singer, Cavill was ousted and Brandon Routh was in.
But in the words of Big Daddy Masters, "All things come to he who waits." I always thought Big Daddy had just a little too much sake with his crab rangoons, but in Henry's case, it's appropriate. He's just been tapped to play the Man of Steel in the next Superman flick, which means that Brandon Routh is the George Lazenby of that franchise. Given how hot Cavill looks out of his clothes, I think it's a perfect fit. Needless to say, we'll post a plethora of photos (especially of his delectable derrière) on BillyMasters.com .
No sooner do I bump into Derek Hough (see last week's column) than we hear he's dropped out of the upcoming season of Dancing with the Stars. I swear, I had nothing to do with it. You may have heard that Derek has a guest-starring role opposite Larry King in an upcoming episode of Better With You. Trust me when I tell you he's not giving up his day job for that! Instead, Hough's taking time off to film the flick Cobu 3D opposite Korean pop star Boa—oooh, I smell a hit! DWTS executive producer Conrad Green said, "We wish Derek the best as he takes time off from 'Dancing with the Stars' to pursue his film career." I'd like to point out that Derek's sister, Julianne, took time off from DWTS to make Burlesque—and they all spoke English on that set!
Those of you who felt Barbra Streisand had nowhere to go but up after those "Focker" movies (yes, Lynn, I'm talking to you), get ready for this. Streisand has just signed on to star opposite Seth Rogen in My Mother's Curse. Oh, I'm smelling something now—but is it a hit? Or is it an old egg-salad sandwich in my luggage? The film is about an inventor (Rogen) who brings his mom (Streisand) on a road trip as he tries to sell his product and she tries to reunite with a long-lost love. So it's like Letters to Juliet meets Shark Tank. I was right—egg salad.
If that project doesn't interest you, what about this one: Jane Fonda would like to make a sequel to Barbarella. Jane told the LA Times, "I have a dream to do a sequel to Barbarella. Not a remake, a sequel. Look, I get shtupped by a blind angel, OK? Let's just take it from there...I think it could be funny." Let's stop and picture the 73-year-old Fonda in the silver jumpsuit and go-go boots. Now picture Carrie Fisher in the metal bikini. Got those two pictures in your head? Now, do you really think the angel started out blind or did he go blind voluntarily? Thank God John Phillip Law died two years ago—this could have killed him.
One of my columns prompted Todd in Dallas to send in this "Ask Billy" question: "You recently ran a hot pic of Don Johnson and Sal Mineo in prison. Was that from some movie? Or maybe a reality show?"
Yes, it's from the popular 1969 reality show, "You's My Beyotch!" Come on, people—really? Actually, it's a promotional photo from the play The Fortune and Men's Eyes, which played at the Coronet Theatre here in West Hollywood. (Well, technically, there was no West Hollywood until 1984.) When I went to research the play, I found this information on Wikipedia (and who am I to question any site that says I was born in 1969): "This play gathered positive reviews in Los Angeles, but was panned during its New York run, and its expanded prison rape scene was criticized as excessive and gratuitous." Call me crazy, but they seem to use the words excessive and gratuitous as if they were a bad thing—especially about a male prison scene. I say we need more of that.
Most weeks, I'd have nothing apropos of a male prison rape scene but not this week—General Hospital is tackling that very subject. (Perhaps "tackling" is a tasteless word to use in this case.) Just days ago, the character played by Chad Duell revealed that during his unfortunate incarceration, he was raped by another inmate. He relives the memory in a flashback scene that a producer described as "nothing gratuitous or titillating." I'm seeing a pattern here. And they wonder why all the soaps are being cancelled.
When actors are practically begging me to show you their private parts, it's definitely time to end yet another column. I'd be remiss if I didn't remind you that my birthday is right around the corner—Feb. 13, to be precise. Who knows where I'll be or what I'll be doing, since I'm gallivanting about the continent. But I'm sure some details will be revealed on www.BillyMasters.com—the site that's multilingual. But whether I'm alone in a luxurious hotel room or in the arms of a handsome stranger who can't speak a lick of English (but is nonetheless adept in the licking department), I'm still only a mouse click away. You can e-mail your warm wishes—and any questions you may have—to me at Billy@BillyMasters.com, and I promise to get back to you before General Hospital borrows yet another plot from my personal DVD collection! Until next time, remember, one man's filth is another man's bible.
