"I need a girlfriend. I'm looking for funny, someone who can deal with a busy schedule, which has been a problem in the past. Just a cool girl. I need someone to hang out with me."—Evan Lysacek says what he's looking for in a girlfriend. Yeah, that's what straight guys always say they're looking for—a funny girl.
You know what 2010 was? Exhausting! Are the years getting busier or am I simply getting older? Don't answer that. Preparing this year-end column is a little like death—I had to go over 51 columns and had the entire year pass before my very eyes.
Early in 2010, Bette Midler ended her very successful Vegas show, "The Showgirl Must Go On." At the time, I bemoaned that the Divine Miss M hadn't filmed this stage extravaganza, but she's no dummy. This New Year's Eve, Bette debuts the show on HBO—pretty much ensuring that she'll turn up on the red carpet for the 2011 Emmys.
One of my favorite scandalous stories seems to have gotten lost in the shuffle. Larry King and his 72nd wife, Shawn, filed for divorce. It was alleged that Larry was having an affair with Shawn's sister, while his wife was fooling around with her sons' baseball coach! CNN tried to do damage control in a unique way—they basically pushed Larry into retirement! Now Larry's back with Shawn (well, he thinks it's Shawn), and he's sitting in the living room asking, "Is the caller there?"
We regularly ran salacious and titillating videos on BillyMasters.com . And yet, my favorite video of the year features no flesh whatsoever. It is a performance by that song-and-dance duo, Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes. When Katie was asked to perform at the annual benefit for the Motion Picture and Television Fund, she enlisted the aid of Mr. Cruise for a number from Damn Yankees. As I said at the time, the pair sizzled with sexual chemistry not seen between a couple since Eyes Wide Shut! Apparently, whatever Katie wants, Katie gets ... well, until the contract runs out—did she get 10 years, too?
There certainly is no absence of chemistry between Calvin Klein and his latest paramour. When the 67-year-old designer showed up on red carpets from Manhattan to the Hamptons with 20-year-old aspiring model Nick Gruber, tongues were wagging (well, I suspect they were wagging long before then—possibly in the limo). When Nick was identified as online porn star Aaron Skyline, we were in heaven. And the videos of him in action certainly made people flock to BillyMasters.com—and why wouldn't they? The boy plays well with others.
The worlds of reality television and gay porn got blurred when Steven Daigle from "Big Brother" was recruited by Chi Chi La Rue. He had a banner year: made a splash in porn, had a gay porn boyfriend, got into a fistfight in public, ended up in the hospital and was arrested. And he thought it was rough having to deal with Julie Chen!
Over Halloween, we got a treat when "Flipping Out" assistant Trace Lehnhoff turned up at WeHo festivities showing off his well-defined torso in football shoulder pads, a jock strap and a smile! Since we have even more revealing Christmas photos, we think this is the perfect time to check out BillyMasters.com for a little ho, ho, ho.
I don't have many virgin experiences left in me, but this year I got to experience my first White Party. It all started when Jeffrey Sanker asked me to come to Palm Springs and interview arriving luminaries on the white carpet. I was able to finally attend since the party had moved from its nomadic Easter weekend to the now stationary second weekend in April (Easter's a big day in the Masters family—that and Groundhog Day). The real reason Sanker wanted me there was because a film crew from The Real Housewives of Atlanta would be there to capture the "performance" of Kim Zolciak. I eschewed all discussions about her singing, such as it is, and focused on her personal life—'cause that's what I do. As it turns out, that's exactly what the Bravo folks wanted, and you know I aim to please. Looks like I'll be back in Palm Springs for Sanker's White Party April 8-10. More details to follow...
Everyone's talking about the repeal of "Don't Ask, Don't Tell," but as far as I'm concerned, the big gay story of the year focused on a handful of teens who demanded equal treatment. Constance McMillen from Aberdeen, Miss., decided to fight her school when they told her she couldn't bring her girlfriend to the prom. She sued, she won and the school cancelled the prom. The happy ending is that she got tons of publicity, including an appearance on Ellen, where Tonic.com presented her with a $30,000 college scholarship.
While this was going on, Derrick Martin in Macon County, Ga., wanted to go to the prom with his boyfriend. As with Constance, there was no legal reason why he couldn't—except he needed permission from the principal since his boyfriend didn't go to the same school. The principal gave consent and the happy couple attended as planned. On the downside, Derrick was thrown out of his parents' home. It should be noted that not only is his father a teacher at the school—he was voted Teacher of the Year in 2008. What a difference a year makes.
I'd be remiss if I didn't note the accomplishments of mega-hot Broadway babe Nick Adams. In a very short time, he went from being sexy featured chorus boy, to sexy featured chorine as a Cagelle in La Cage aux Folles to nabbing a lead role in the upcoming Priscilla, Queen of the Desert, which is being produced by ... you guessed it, Bette Midler. See? We've come full circle!
When we're playing six degrees of Bette Midler, it's definitely time to end yet another year. I told you it was exhausting. And yet, the year wasn't a complete success. I opened 2010 by saying I wanted to appear on "Wipe Out." I don't know why—I have a penchant for large balls, I guess. But, alas, that dream went unfulfilled—along with my early ambition of playing a murder victim on Unsolved Mysteries. There's always next year, at least for "Wipe Out" (my corpse dream died when Robert Stack became one). For the best gossip around, you should keep an eye on www.BillyMasters.com, the site that never sleeps. Of course, I'm always at Billy@BillyMasters.com, and I promise to get back to you before my next virgin experience. So, until next year, remember, one man's filth is another man's bible.
