(You know what I sometimes do? Take the advice I read in this very column. The fact that I'm Billy Masters doesn't make the advice any less valuable. So when I realized I'd be in Fort Lauderdale the night Leslie Jordan came to town with his holiday show, "Deck Them Halls Y'All", I heeded by own advice and went. My spousal equivalent Dan Renzi and I were delighted with Leslie's down-home charm and way with a story. Yes, he kinda got lost a few times—and almost lost his wig—but he handles hurdles with such aplomb, you almost wish they'd pop up more often! Unlike Leslie's more autobiographical shows where he speaks (more or less) in his own voice, here we get the stories of three different people: a grandmother who was a stripper in the waning days of vaudeville, a woman longing for gender reassignment surgery, and her son. I know what you're thinking—it almost sounds like the life story of Cher! What holds this thread together is Leslie's undeniable likeability. I'm always thrilled to spend time in his presence—and that's his present to us during this holiday tour. He'll be on the road throughout December, so check out dates at TheLeslieJordan.com .
Last week there was a fire in the vicinity of Anderson Cooper's new place in Greenwich Village (the flames were actually in the building next door). On the positive side, Andy's abode is a former firehouse. On the negative side, the hoses have been ... um, "re-purposed." All's well that end's well—the blaze was under control within an hour, no doubt helped by members of the NYFD arriving on the scene within three minutes. It's almost as if they were already in the neighborhood...
Speaking of Coop, the past two years he's hosted New Year's Eve on CNN with the outrageous Kathy Griffin. Of course, every time Kathy is on any show, rumors immediately spring up that she'll not be invited back. Things did get a bit hairy after last week's "Divas Salute the Troops," which featured Kathy taking aim at Bristol Palin. Some folks at CNN felt that the funny lady may have crossed the line. However, two powerful people went to bat for her—Larry King and Anderson Cooper! The outgoing elder statesman of CNN is a big fan of Kathy's (calling her "a pistol"), and Andy is rumored to have said if Griffin goes, he goes. I told they'll both be back.
I was amused to hear that on Dec. 16, Lance Bass will appear in the off-Broadway play My Big Gay Italian Wedding. Wasn't that the play that...? Yeah, it was. I'm told Lance is happy to participate since he's friends with current star David Moretti—which is one of those slaps that can be heard from Key West to WeHo!
Ashton Kutcher wrote an article for the current issue of "Harper's Bazaar" where he gives out tips for people dating in the digital age. Here's a tip—don't sleep with a porn star!
Time for another of Billy's Holiday Gift Giving Suggestions. This week's suggestion almost came from a young man I ran into at H&M on the Sunset Strip. This boy was far too cute for me to even look at, but he struck up a conversation with me by complimenting my tan (look, I'll take what I can get). When I noted his gloves, he pointed out that they were "texting gloves"—where one could extend the thumb and index finger out of the glove to text. This was a bit too gay—even for West Hollywood. And yet, I have no problem recommending the new holiday CD from Wilson Phillips to you! I love those ladies. You may not know this, but one of the acts I used to open for when I was on the road was Wilson Phillips. They were the only group I know of that got a Domino's delivery onstage! Of course, that was before Carnie's gastric bypass. Well, I think she had a bypass—it's so hard to tell! But it's not hard to recommend this CD. It's fun, fabulous, and festive...three of my favorite F-words!
I got the strangest question in my "Ask Billy" mailbag. Tony in Hawaii asked: "I just saw Eric Balfour in that god-awful Skyline"and I seem to remember he was either in a Madonna video or did porn. Am I right?"
You're right and wrong all at the same time. Nope, Eric was never in a Madonna video or in porn. You may be thinking of Tony Ward, who bares more than a passing resemblance to the heroin-chic Balfour. The part you are right about is that you may very well have seen him having sex. Way back in 2006, I wrote about Lie With Me, a film that featured loads of full-frontal nudity of Balfour and included him getting a blow job from some girl who possibly went on to work for Vivid Entertainment! Since that 2006 report, we obtained the unreleased version, which includes even more nudity. So rather than see Skyline, go to BillyMasters.com and check him out there.
When I can come up with any reason to recommend Balfour's body of work, it's definitely time to end yet another column. And where would you check out Balfour and so much more? At www.BillyMasters.com, of course! I just realized we only have one more column of fresh gossip left for the year. And then we look back at 2010. What stories do you think will make the cut? And which celebrity nudes—cut or uncut? Let me know your picks by dropping a note to Billy@BillyMasters.com and I promise to get back to you—perhaps from my cell phone, using my new boyfriend's texting gloves! So, until next time, remember, one man's filth is another man's bible.)
