"I knew exactly what I was doing. You can't accidentally take a whole bottle of pills."—Fantasia Barrino admits she attempted suicide over the public revelation of her affair with a married man. I'm no expert, but if you're really serious, aspirin is probably not the way to go. Maybe she couldn't read the bottle.
I recently zipped to Hartford, Conn., to catch the world premiere of High, a new play by Matthew Lombardo. This is the same playwright who wrote Tea at Five and Looped. But rather than being a love letter to some dearly departed diva, this is a real, honest-to-goodness play. And it stars a diva who is far from departed—Kathleen Turner. And she's playing a nun! I know what you're thinking—but she's a nun who came late to the nunnery after a lifetime of hard living and alcohol. Assign her with a teenage male hustler who is addicted to drugs and doesn't really wanna get clean ( and may or may not have been complicit in the death of a 14-year-old boy ) and you have a pretty damn unhappy nun. Just for kicks, toss in a supervising priest of questionable motives and prepare yourself for a riveting ride. While the show has closed in Hartford, it is off to Cincinnati and St. Louis—and, I suspect, even larger stages. Check it out.
Across the sea, George Michael admitted his own drug addiction—at Highbury Corner Magistrates Court. Georgie pled guilty to driving under the influence and being in possession of marijuana at the time of his car crash on July 4. In addition to losing his license for six months, the judge also said, "I make it clear the options in respect of sentence remain open, including the power to imprison." Don't threaten him with a good time, your honor!
Elsewhere in the British Isles, John Barrowman had everyone in a tizzy. He advertised a garage sale at his home in Wales with flyers that said, "Everything Must Go—Spread the Word." With news that Torchwood was not completely dead and would begin shooting new episodes in the United States under a new moniker ( "Torchwood: The New World" ) , most people assumed the Glasgow-born but U.S.-raised actor was leaving the United Kingdom permanently. "I'm just a regular citizen holding a normal garage sale to clear out a load of old junk and raise money for charity," he said. Perhaps, but most citizens don't include antique furniture and a Peugeot! Barrowman was on hand all day while buyers and fans crowded the grounds. He would sign anything for an additional fee, and announced that a percentage of the proceeds would be donated to a local children's hospice.
On the home front, our Dancing with the Stars will begin in a fortnight ... err, in a couple of weeks. By the time you read this, the line-up will be public. People like David Hasselhoff, Michael Bolton, Margaret Cho and Florence Henderson could be participants, along with premarital abstinence advocate Bristol Palin. And it also appears that Jersey Shore mania will be infiltrating network television with "The Situation" competing for the mirror ball trophy. ( He's never met a mirror he didn't like. ) I believe someone who committed vehicular homicide is also a contender, but why go there? Let's stick with The Sitch—allegedly his income in 2010 will top $5 million, which I believe may be one of the first signs of the Apocalypse. ( Look it up, I'm sure it's in the Bible. ) Part of that income will come from his upcoming DVD "The Situation Workout—Get Ripped in 5 10-Minute Sets." He's also writing a book—a novelty for someone who I'm not sure ever read a book! And he'll be pocketing $400K to be the spokesman for Devotion vodka—a beverage that swears it increases lean body mass because it contains a clear protein liquid. I'd happily endorse a milky protein liquid, but no one is knocking on my door!
Speaking of milky beverages, Lil Romeo just lent his name to a shake at Millions of Milkshakes. He debuted the drink at the West Hollywood location shirtless—'cause that's what hot guys in WeHo do. I'm told the shake contains French vanilla ice cream, cookie dough and sprinkles. Looking at his abs, I'm finding it hard to believe he's ever had this drink—unless he also throws in some of that lean muscle-enhancing vodka ( or some other liquid protein ) . I'll post some photos at BillyMasters.com .
Could it be that one of the more venerable relationships in Hollywood and points south has hit the skids? True enough—the partnership has been dissolved and while the public may focus on the star leaving the boardroom, the golden boy has been moved out of the bedroom. Or bedrooms in this case ( the pitfalls of being so international ) . I'm told the lord of the rings was very direct about the split. No big song and dance. No other party involved ( except that ever-present wife ) . The liaison had simply run its course. It could have been ugly, but the youngster has been through this before. He's a foxy fella and, like most Sicilians, he'll land on his feet ( or his back ) .
When I can present a blind item with such panache, it's definitely time to end yet another column. Labor Day's around the corner, and that means two things—I will be riveted to the Jerry Lewis Telethon and I'll soon be leaving Boston. I dunno why but within a few hours of seeing Jann Carl's mole, I get the urge to lay on a beach without sunblock! I guess I'll spend some time in Fort Lauderdale before returning to the glitz and glamour of Hollywood. And if it's glitz and glamour you're looking for, look no further than www.BillyMasters.com . If I can provide any service to you, feel free to drop a note to Billy@BillyMasters.com and I promise to get back to you before vodka is marketed as a health drink! So, until next time, remember, one man's filth is another man's bible.
