"I'm too busy being an active beard and helping closeted actors who've stepped on too many toes try to get back into the good graces of the general public. But you never know when love will be just round the corner."—Cameron Diaz explains why she hasn't settled down. Funny—I have the same reasons!
Phase one of my European adventure has come to an end, and I'm ashamed to say I had moments where I was an Ugly American. I was in one of those Eastern European countries where speaking English is virtually impossible. While a foreign tongue is most certainly appealing, it did make some tasks quite difficult. To help make myself understood, my initial instinct was—get ready for it—to speak with a British accent! And not a Mr. French accent. This was more Dame Helen Mirren. Lord knows what I was thinking, except that maybe the Queen's lilt would help ( it didn't ) . On the positive side, I developed a deep appreciation for the United States during this sojourn. There's a reason we're a superpower. They may have culture, history, pride and passion, but we have something they'll never have—ice! Yes, what separates us from the barbarians across the pond is that we don't count out our cubes individually when chilling a drink. And that, my darlings, makes all the difference.
Whoopi Goldberg has announced that she'll be making her West End debut during her August hiatus from The View. What's interesting is that the show she's going into is Sister Act—The Musical! Yes, Whoopi ( who is also a producer of the show ) is back in the habit—but this time as Mother Superior. This reminds me of when Anne Baxter, who made a name for herself as the eponymous All About Eve, replaced Lauren Bacall on Broadway in Applause—which was the musical version of that classic film. And with one short sentence, I managed to simultaneously reveal my vast knowledge and age.
Whilst I was frolicking in Europe, sexy Scott Evans was enjoying some free time in Provincetown. In fact, it's sounding like he'll have more free time since he's no longer attached to that film he was going to shoot elsewhere on Cape Cod. But there is a member of the Evans family who is working in the Boston area—and he's showing his member. Chris Evans is shooting "What's Your Number?" with Anna Faris, and it required the sexy 29-year-old to jump into Boston Harbor completely naked. He told onlookers ( who, thank God, had cameras ) , "I've never done a nude scene before—this is awesome!" It most certainly is. Pics on BillyMasters.com .
Someone else worth checking out is Miley Cyrus' ex-boytoy Justin Gaston. The sexy stud has posed nude for PETA, alongside his If I Can Dream co-stars Giglianne Braga and Ben Elliott. I'm not one to gush, but WOW! It's almost enough to make me watch this direct-to-Hulu reality web series ( almost but not quite ) . And forget about Justin for a sec—especially since he left the show to hit the road as Kris Allen's opening act. Ben Elliott. Lordy, Lordy! Just wait till you see him. Of course, we've seen Justin before ( including his penis in some see-through undies ) . Now we have another excuse to run those pics—and the new ones.
The on-again/off-again film version of The Normal Heart is allegedly on-again—and without a Streisand in sight. This new information comes courtesy of sexy Mark Ruffalo, who was promoting The Kids Are All Right and said that his next project is starring as Ned Weeks in a big-screen adaptation of Larry Kramer's epic. ( Kramer also wrote the script. ) Ruffalo also states Glee and Nip/Tuck head honcho Ryan Murphy is involved.
Hollywood offspring seem to be popping out of the closet left and right. Last week, Ally Sheedy was at a fundraiser for the Trevor Project ( who operate the only 24/7 youth suicide prevention hotline for LGBT youths ) . On the red carpet, she said, "My daughter has just come out, so it's personal." Incidentally, Sheedy's mom is also a lesbian. It must be one of those genes that skips a generation!
If the National Enquirer is to be believed, Warren Beatty and Annette Benning's daughter Kathlyn wants to go through gender-reassignment surgery. Allegedly, s/he is in college and insists on being called Stephen. The rag reports that "Warren is beside himself". I was beside myself once, but then I realized I was next to a mirror!
Angelina Jolie told Vanity Fair that her daughter Shiloh "wants to be a boy". The 4-year-old girl likes to dress in male clothing and begs to have her hair cut short. It's shades of Chastity Bono all over again!
Speaking of the artist currently known as Chaz, Cher recently stepped out with her "child" and looked about as happy as Warren reportedly is. On the other hand, that may be as happy as Cher is capable of looking these days!
Cybill Shepherd's youngest daughter has come out as a lesbian—making this Cybill's second lesbian child. Last year, Clementine Ford announced she was gay. This year, Ariel Shepherd-Oppenheim showed up at the GLAAD media awards in San Francisco with her girlfriend to support mom, who was being honored.
When I'm considering giving up meat to get closer to some beefcake, it's definitely time to end yet another column. I've got one more story for you. While overseas, I was involved in some matters I can't go into here, lest I compromise some delicate matters of international security. But, at one meeting I had on a somewhat clingy T-shirt—certainly not as tight as anything Anderson Cooper wears on CNN. One of my colleagues said, "You've got a whole Jennifer Aniston thing going on today." So I start tossing my hair, figuring that my new conditioner is doing everything the label said it would. But the ( straight ) guy said, "No, you're erect." On my way to glance at my nether regions, I noticed my nipples were front and center and alert. Note to self—before I head back to Europe later this month, buy Sassy Nips! For more on various parts of the male anatomy, be sure to check out www.BillyMasters.com . If you've got a question, just write to me at Billy@BillyMasters.com and I promise to get back to you before my next wardrobe malfunction. Until next time, remember, one man's filth is another man's bible.
