Jeffrey Sanker sure knows how to throw a party. As a White Party virgin ( yes, my darlings, a virgin ) , I was not exactly sure what to expect. With such an ambitious and seemingly unwieldy schedule of events, chaos would undoubtedly ensue. But that was not the case at the 21st installment of this annual Palm Springs shindig. Even with new venues and expanded events, the whole experience ran like a well-oiled machine. That kind of organization has to start from the top, and the top in question ( at least figuratively speaking ) is Sanker himself.
My weekend duties were confined to meeting and greeting luminaries and hotties on Saturday's White Carpet alongside the snappy and sexy Candis Cayne. The big name was Kim Zolciak, from The Real Housewives of Atlanta. When she and fellow housewife Kandi arrived, the Bravo crew was with them. Kim was fun and nice, but appeared annoyed when I asked her about all of the hoopla surrounding her revelation about a relationship with DJ extraordinaire Tracy Young. Kim rolled her eyes, as if shocked that I'd bring up a story she made public. I said we didn't have to talk about it. Well, if there's one thing that bothered her more than my wanting to talk about it, it was my eagerness to not talk about it! I realized this gal knows exactly what she's doing. The eye-rolling, the feigned shock—it's all part of her shtick. I can respect that because she pulls it off ( except with moi, of course ) .
At Sunday's tea dance, Kim "sang" along with her pre-recorded track of "Tardy for the Party" and brought Kandi with her. Alas, I had the misfortune to be standing right next to the only speaker that was connected directly to Kim's microphone. I got to hear her live vocals without the benefit of any mixing, AutoTuning or other audio trickery. What she lacks in vocal skill, she certainly makes up for in energy and sheer love of performing.
What would a circuit party be without a little drama? Swedish singing sensation Agnes was slated to appear on Sunday, and earlier in the day we got whispers that Britney Spears would be making the trek from L.A. You see, Brit and Ag share a manager, so Spears was to introduce Agnes from the stage. Sanker set up a separate VIP pavilion for Brit, equipped with a private entrance for her vehicle. At one point, a black SUV showed up and sat at the entrance. That turned out to be a decoy. The real SUV containing Britney turned up about 10 minutes later. Spears and a handful of her "people" made their way up to the pavilion. Simultaneously, a dozen security people showed up to dissuade those of us with an unobstructed view from taking photos. ( We still snagged a few. )
In short order, Sanker and company made their way to greet the pop star. They were stopped at the foot of the stairs by one of her goons. Sanker was then allowed in ... alone! He talked to Brit for a few minutes and then left. It appears that Spears was happy to meet the man who spent tens of thousands of dollars to give her a VIP experience, but refused to meet anyone else or allow him to take a photo with her. This is why I'm never in a position of power. Because at that point, I'd have said, "Then go home. Who needs you?" Alas, no one did that. Once patrons started realizing Spears was in the area, she retreated to her SUV, had a cigarette and drove away.
I was assured she'd return, but wasn't convinced. What were the chances she'd hang around Palm Springs for two hours? Lo and behold, when it was time for Agnes' performance, the music stopped, the lights dimmed, and out came ... local performance artiste Flava! And she introduced a special performer ... Agnes! Agnes did a great job, and then there was an incredible fireworks display—and that was that. Except, it wasn't. As I left the venue, there was Britney getting into her SUV. Apparently, she did return to watch Agnes. I suppose it's nice that she came to support a fellow artist, and it's a credit to Sanker that she was comfortable showing up at his party. But, frankly, it was much ado about nothing. Frankly, the record number of attendees didn't seem to care one way or the other.
In the midst of all the White Party revelry, we learned that Dixie Carter had passed away. I only met Dixie a few times, but I always found her fun, energetic, disarmingly direct and honest, and really dishy. In short, she was everything you'd want her to be—and more. She'll definitely be missed.
Nathan Lane is enduring some of the worst reviews of his career—and that's saying something—for The Addams Family musical on Broadway. And he's not taking the jabs all that well. When Kevin Sessums at The Daily Beast asked his opinion on the poor notices, Lane said, "Honestly, I don't give a fuck. We've done the best we could—I think this might be my farewell to musical theater." I hope he's joking. But I can alert my Chicago fans that Lane will be returning to the boards next season in a decidedly different vehicle. He'll be starring alongside Brian Dennehy in The Iceman Cometh at the Goodman.
Let me slip in a quick "Ask Billy" question from John in Austin: "I know it's tragic, but I watch 'Love Games: Bad Girls Need Love Too' on Oxygen. Has Akoni [ a contestant ] done porn? He looks awfully familiar."
He has. The Hawaiian native has done gay porn under the more island-sounding "Kekoa," but eventually settled on "Jarrett Rex" for the bulk of his adult work. Despite solely doing gay porn, he claims to be heterosexual. He might also claim to have two testicles, but he doesn't. Pics and videos can be found on BillyMasters.com .
When Britney not singing is news, it's definitely time to end yet another column. Phew—just under the wire. Keep checking www.BillyMasters.com for all the dishiest dirt. If you've got questions, drop a note to Billy@BillyMasters.com and I promise to get back to you before Akoni finds his missing ball! So, until next time, remember, one man's filth is another man's bible.
