"Our guest today is Britain's best selling non-fiction author, having sold over 3 million books from 'I Can Make You Thin' to 'I Can Make You Rich' to 'I Can Make You Sleep'. I wonder if he can make me stay on the air!"—Bonnie Hunt introduced a guest to her recently cancelled talk show. Fingers crossed, Bonnie.
Last week, I told you how a few celebs rang in the New Year. As we went to press, we hadn't yet heard about the Rivers family celebration. As I'm sure many of you have heard, Joan Rivers ran into a snafu at the Costa Rican airport—let me put on my surprised face. Auntie Joan states that although she got through four checkpoints without incident, she was not allowed to board the Continental flight because the gate agent could not understand why her passport said "Joan Rosenberg—AKA Joan Rivers." Of course, Rosenberg is her married name, and Rivers is her performing name. While all of this is true, it appears that the two names on her passport were not why she was barred from boarding. Apparently, her boarding pass was made out in the name of "Joseph Rivers!" Obviously this was not Joanie's fault, and surely one of the earlier checkpoints should have noticed this error. But, rules are rules and if the boarding pass doesn't match the name on the ID, then the person can't board ... period. Except, of course, in an exception you'll read about later in this column. ( We in the business call that a "teaser." )
Sharon Stone just got a new gig—on Law & Order: Special Victims Unit. Stone will join the show for a four-episode arc playing an assistant district attorney who was formerly a cop. This TV gig isn't a huge departure for Sharon. She won an Emmy Award for her guest starring role on The Practice back in 2004.
On other side of the spectrum, alleged insiders are speculating that Kathy Griffin has been banned from CNN after using the "f-word" on New Year's Eve. Trust me—CNN knows exactly what they're getting with Kath, and they're not all that concerned.
Tiger Woods may have had gay lovers! Note the word "may." That's because the allegation is coming from one of his mistresses—a dubious source at best. Said paramour is peddling a book proposal in which she states that she and Tiger took part in group sex and that she personally witnessed Woods having sex with other men. Needless to say, the specifics come with a $1 million price tag...which is quite a payday for a whore!
This week's "Ask Billy" question comes from Justin in Miami: "Have you heard about these twin guys who had sex with each other in a gay porn? I don't remember their names, but I saw them at a club and they were really hot—making out and grabbing each other. Do they really have sex in the film? And are they really brothers?"
I'm assuming you're talking about Milo and Elijah Peters, known as the Peters Twins ( a last name I somehow doubt shows up on their Czechoslovakian birth certificates ) . The 19-year-olds were scooped up by Bel Ami and have turned up in a number of DVDs. I assume you saw them at Johnny's in Fort Lauderdale. Interestingly enough, they experienced a glitch right out of the Joan Rivers story that opened this column. You see, the airline misspelled their names on the tickets ( which, again, leads us to believe it wasn't "Peters" ) . Unlike Joanie, the boys were able to sweet-talk their way on board, proving once and for all that airline personnel is far more amenable to hot Czech twins than an old Jewish woman. Uber-agent Howard over at Fabscout got on the phone and had the names fixed before the boys landed at JFK. BTW, sexy Johan Paulik tagged along as the boys' chaperone and also filmed the trip for members of www.BelAmiOnline.com .
Back to the sex portion of this story. Their most recent Bel Ami video doesn't include any co-stars. Just the two of them and can be found on the Bel Ami Web site. It's been titled Brotherly Love, and that pretty much sums it up. Kissing, touching, oral, anal, you name it, the boys do it—and without any, um, "inhibitions." My colleague JC Adams over at GayPornTimes.com interviewed the boys. One quote jumped out at me. Milo said, "I have my brother if I want something. I love my brother and doing sex with him is just normal." Not the word I'd come up with, but I must say—they are awfully hot, as you'll see on BillyMasters.com . And, yes, we show everything, too.
Someone else showing all is Gary Coleman. Yes, the little midget from Different Strokes—and he ain't too happy about it. He's featured in the upcoming ( surely, direct-to-DVD ) release Midgets vs. Mascots—guess which one he plays? Although he was naked on the set, he was allegedly assured there would be no full-frontal footage in the flick. Once he saw a rough cut, he complained to TMZ: "They didn't take my penis out of the movie. I'm not very happy about that. It's definitely stressing me out. I gotta go get a lawyer now." Translation? "It's not all that impressive."
When a little person's penis looks small, it's definitely time to end yet another column. While I usually enjoy being at the Filth2Go Beachhouse, I'm anxious to get out of these frigid temperatures and back to sunny Southern California—and just in time for the Golden Globes. I'll be sure to fill you in on all the happenings over at www.BillyMasters.com . And if you've got something on your mind, feel free to write me at Billy@BillyMasters.com and I promise to get back to you before TSA strip-searches the Peters twins! So, until next time, remember, one man's filth is another man's bible.
