"I was born with a priceless gift—the ability to laugh at the misfortunes of others." —Dame Edna Everage
The world just got a bit duller with the death of Dame Edna Everage. Her creator, Barry Humphries, was a curious fellow with a number of views one might not find palatable. But funneled through his most famous character, he became not only acceptable but also acclaimed. We could laugh at Dame Edna's barbs, biases and bitchiness. Like Archie Bunker, we saw our differences through Edna's eyes—and found them outrageous. Rest in peace, possum.
We can learn a thing or two from the British royal family. You've surely heard that Prince Harry is going to the coronation alone. Whether Harry was allowed a plus-one is up for conjecture, but there's a similar situation.
Way back in 1986, Prince Andrew married Sarah Ferguson. In 1992, they announced their separation. In 1996, they got a divorce. You know what they didn't do? Stop living together. That said, Fergie is no longer a "royal." Therefore, she is not obliged to be invited to every wedding or other event...and that includes coronations.
And Fergie gets it. "No, I'm not [going] actually, 'cause it's a state occasion. And being divorced, I don't think you can have it both ways." Well, I've had it both ways with many, many divorced men, but that's another story.
You know who else won't be going to the coronation? The Pope. He's sent Charles his regrets...along with a gift. His token is supposedly fragments from the cross on which Jesus Christ was crucified—'cause nothing says good luck on your reign than something used to kill the "king of kings!"
Everyone should be keeping an eye on Camilla's son, Tom Parker Bowles—who apparently is a food critic. As such, he has decried the use of spices like chili and garlic at the festivities due to their foul odor. Speaking of fowl, he's also not a fan of "coronation chicken," which he describes as "really horrible." For years, people said the same thing about his mum.
Nobody has yet explained to me why Amy Robach and T.J. Holmes were fired from Good Morning America. After working together for seven years, they had an affair. So what? Neither one complained to the network—although I heard that some people on the set felt "uncomfortable." Anyway, they were fired. And now are dating openly. We hear that their agents pitched them as contestants on Dancing with the Stars—owned of course by Disney, which owns ABC, which airs Good Morning America. Not surprisingly, DWTS passed.
My male sack is bursting at the seams. Actually it's our Ask Billy mail sack. Of all the emails on this topic, the one from Connor in Florida arrived first: "I don't know if you watch Obsession, but I couldn't believe I was seeing Richard Armitage naked. And it all seemed very natural. Is this a trend??"
It might be. I like my male nudity to be a bit more unnatural, but I'm an extremist. When asked about it, Armitage said, "When a project like this comes in your direction, there are a lot of people trying to warn you and say, 'It's going to be challenging, it's going to be very revealing, and there will be a lot of intimacy.' But I thought, 'It's fine. I'll approach this like a European, like how the French deal with cinema, see their view of the human body and their view of relationships and intimacy. They're much more relaxed.'" Thank God he's not completely relaxed—I was delighted to note a bit of "stiffness", if you catch my drift. And you can see all on BillyMasters.com .
When nudity is part of an obsession, it's definitely time to end another column. Once again, something for everyone. That's my special gift to you, my adoring fans. And that's just the tip of the iceberg You can get so much more on www.BillyMasters.com—the site that proves you really can have it both ways. If you need a bit more of a personal touch, drop a note to Billy@BillyMasters.com and I promise to get back to you before Harry asks me to be his plus-one! Until next time, remember: One man's filth is another man's bible.
