"I don't know. I just … I think I'd be good at it."—The fabulous Jennifer Coolidge explained why she would like to come back as a gay man. If reincarnation exists, I'd like to come back as the gay man who is Jennifer Coolidge's lover.
There's only so much I can take—and I say that for those of you who think I am insatiable. Let's face it: We've all been through a lot this past year. But, frankly, a cold and rainy July Fourth in Provincetown was more than I could bear (and especially days before Bear Week). Despite the inclemency, I managed to amuse myself with a number of shows—to say nothing of some less presentational activities which will go unmentioned.
Any opportunity you get to see Judy Gold, grab it. You would be hard-pressed to find anyone funnier, smarter, quicker and as engaging. (Modesty prevents me from placing myself in her category.) Even with a monsoon raging outside and some drunken straight people babbling inside, Judy made us feel as if we could get through anything. She's at the Art House all summer; see PtownArtHouse.com .
Varla Jean Merman is a national treasure. Whenever I think she can't top herself—a feat I've only seen a handful of times on various international editions of the "Got Talent" franchise—Varla does it. This year's show, "Varla Jean Merman's Little Prick," is a fast-paced, uproarious romp through the (hopefully) post-pandemic world. The comedy is crisp, the songs are catchy, and the costumes defy the laws of gravity—to say nothing of good taste. She's at The Crown & Anchor; see OnlyAtTheCrown.com .
There are new operators of the venerable Post Office Cafe and Cabaret, and they've refurbished that spiffy little room with sound and lights and paint and curtains. The season kicked off with Del Shores and Debby Holiday. I hope there's no need for me to extol the virtues of these artists to you, my dear readers. Del, of Sordid Lives fame, has endless anecdotes from his prolific career. And Debby's powerhouse vocals are surpassed only by her formidable personality. Her tribute to Tina Turner killed on every level, and she made each song her own. The venue has great acts all summer, so check out PostOfficeCafe.net .
I will be in and out of Ptown with alarming regularity, and plan to see Thirsty Burlington and Edmund Bagnell (at The Crown), Simply Barbra and Marilyn Maye (at The Provincetown Art House), Jason Dottley and Seth Sikes (at The Post Office), Miss Richfield and Steve Grand (at The Pilgrim House), and numerous others, I'm sure.
I'm often worried about people who flaunt their homes and possessions on social media—they seem to be asking for trouble. Sure enough, trouble is what Todrick Hall got after he posted footage from a performance of Hairspray in London's West End that he attended. This let someone know that his Los Angeles home would be vacant (which is not necessarily the case—I hear people come and go from that house frequently). When Todrick returned from England, he discovered he had been robbed of over $50K worth of "handbags and other personal items." Hall stated, "This happened less than an hour after my cat sitter left my home, and I'm just happy that my cats have all been found and are safe." I don't know what's more troubling—that Todrick has a collection of expensive handbags, or that he's got a collection of cats!
NBC is returning to live musicals with a Dec. 2 airing of Annie LIVE!, and we've got some casting to share—starting with everyone's favorite daddy, Harry Connick Jr. His Miss Hannigan will be Taraji P. Henson. A nationwide search for orphans is ongoing, and I expect a motley crew (and a mutt) to be announced shortly.
A few months ago, I told you that Franco Nero had signed Kevin Spacey to appear in his next film, The Man Who Drew God. Original reports indicated that Nero's wife, Vanessa Redgrave, would play the female lead—something she quickly denied when she saw the excoriation begin. So, Franco needed a "name" actress who could hold her own opposite Spacey and who would also not mind having her reputation besmirched by association. And that is how this becomes a Fayewatch item! Yes, into the breach enters one of Kevin's old, OLD friends—Miss Dunaway, who never calls, never writes and never appears on Billy Masters LIVE. Ever since the back-to-back Oscar incidents (to say nothing of the Hepburn debacle in Boston), one hears less and less of one of our greatest actresses. I continue to cling to hope that the right role could bring her back. But is this it? Then again, does she have anything to lose? Shooting has already completed, and the powers that be are trying to get anyone in Cannes to show interest in distributing the flick. In case you're wondering, Nero plays a blind artist who is accused of sexually abusing a child. Faye is a Braille teacher and friend of Nero who takes on the task of teaching him to read and write. And Spacey is the guy investigating the alleged sexual assault. I smell a HIT … in Dubrovnik!
When we're rooting for Faye, it's definitely time to end yet another column. My God—if Dunaway becomes hot again, I'll have enough gossip to buy a new house. So, whatever you do, go see this movie … if it ever comes out! Until then, be sure to check out BillyMasters.com—the site that delivers in any kind of weather. If you want to slip me a tip, send it along to Billy@BillyMasters.com, and I promise to get back to you before I see another little prick in Provincetown! So, until next time, remember: One man's filth is another man's bible.
