"31 years ago in 1992, Brendan Fraser and Ke Huy Quan were in a movie together. . . two actors from 'Encino Man' are nominated for Oscars. Incredible night it must be for the two of you, and what a very difficult night for Pauly Shore." —Jimmy Kimmel during his Oscars monologue.
In a few weeks, Big Daddy Masters will turn 90. And, with all due respect, I'm not so interested in his opinion on the latest films. And yet, here we are—obsessed with the Oscars at 95.
Here are some of my observations. Where is Kelly McGillis? She is the most MIA woman since Shelly Miscavige! There's no question that Jamie Lee Curtis is Hollywood royalty. Her win was quite touching, and how nice it was that she kept her Golden Globes under wraps for a change. I think she may have lent her designated dress to Eva Longoria! And, say what you will—Hugh Grant is the best looking scrotum I've ever seen. . . and I've seen more than my share of scrotums!
We learned a few things from this year's Academy Awards. In these divided times, I think we can all agree that nobody is funnier than Malala. Clearly she's the Lucille Ball of Pakistan! And those Daniels—they are without a doubt the cutest couple to win Best Original Screenplay since Ben and Matt. And, in case there was any doubt, we now know definitively that being murdered on the set does not guarantee making the cut for the "In Memoriam" packet.
Leading up to the Oscars, we had Chris Rock's much-anticipated comedy special Selective Outrage. Chris uses this term to discuss Will Smith claiming that while the Fresh Prince took umbrage at Rock's GI Jane joke, his anger really stemmed from Mrs. Smith sleeping with her son's friend. A novel theory and one I'm certainly not qualified to comment on. The ladies of The View were quick to point out that Mrs. Smith was never named by Rock—so at least he heeded Will's warning to "keep my wife's name out of your fucking mouth." I certainly can appreciate a clapback to a slapback—especially with a $40 million payday!
The Broadway revival of Funny Girl will close when Lea Michele leaves this fall. While there was wild speculation that the producers would try to find another Fanny Brice, it was determined that nobody could fill Ms. Michele's shoes. That's quite a contention, since the original Broadway production lasted almost two years after Streisand departed. The show continued to do good business with the accomplished Mimi Hines. I guess they don't make 'em like Mimi anymore—unless I'm supposed to believe Lea is more irreplaceable than Babs!
Every year, gay porn aficionados head to Chicago on Memorial Day weekend for the Grabby Awards (attendance surely helped by International Mr. Leather, which takes place the same weekend). But, didya know that the Grabbys have a European cousin? The Grabby Awards Europe will take place in Torremolinos, Spain on April 20-23. According to the press release, the show will "celebrate the best gay European porn stars, gay porn labels, movies and creative content of the year." Information on both the domestic and international awards can be found at GrabbyAwards.com .
We previously reported a story about an Italian man fired from his university job due to his past as a gay porn performer. The man in question is sexy Carlo Masi, who made loads of films for Colt Studios. His real name is Ruggero Freddi, and he was a teacher at the Sapienza University of Rome. He claimed to have been fired without explanation and without pay for the work he had already done. So he sued for what I consider a paltry amount—roughly $2,500 for the work he had done and $1,500 for "unjustified dismissal." You would think a smart defendant would pay the $4K and be done with it. But this case actually went to trial—which he won. "I hope my case gives courage to all PhD students who are exploited after years of studies and specializations," said Carlo/Ruggero—except I suspect he said it in Italian.
We'd been hearing that Jake Gyllenhaal is in enviable physical form for his upcoming film, Road House," where he plays an MMA fighter. He turned up at the UFC 285 event last week outside of Las Vegas to film some scenes, and we're told it was hard to distinguish him from the rest of the elite athletes. Then someone sent me footage and. . . OMG, has he ever looked better? You can decide for yourself at BillyMasters.com .
Our "Ask Billy" question comes from Josh in San Francisco: "I heard that Lil Nas X posted some hot pics and then deleted them. Didn't you have nudes of him before?"
He did and I did. Lil posted a photo of himself in a mirror wearing grey Nike hip briefs. Clearly he's fluffed. Apparently, someone was concerned that this might be a bit much, so the photo was deleted—but not before I grabbed it. We'll post it along with that video where you can see every inch of him at BillyMasters.com .
When we're telling you to "Just Do It", it's definitely time to end yet another column. Hours before the Oscars, I predicted the "In Memoriam" would exclude Robert Blake. . . for obvious reasons. But Leslie Jordan? Anne Heche? Cindy Williams? For shame, Oscars! You can find them all on BillyMasters.com—the site that never forgets. If you have a question for me, send it along to Billy@BillyMasters.com and I promise to get back to you before we show you everything everywhere all at once. Until next time, remember, one man's filth is another man's bible.
