Windy City Media Group Frontpage News

THE VOICE OF CHICAGO'S GAY, LESBIAN, BI, TRANS AND QUEER COMMUNITY SINCE 1985

home search facebook twitter join
Gay News Sponsor Windy City Times 2023-12-13
DOWNLOAD ISSUE
Donate

Sponsor
Sponsor
Sponsor

  NIGHTSPOTS

pretzel logic
by David J. Magdziarz
2008-05-07

This article shared 4471 times since Wed May 7, 2008
facebook twitter google +1 reddit email


Winter's finally over, and since I had dedicated a couple of columns to winter weather and other cold things ( but enough about my ex-boyfriend ) , here's a Pretzel Logic look at springtime.

Sure Signs Of Spring In The Gay Community – Part One

You know that winter is turning to spring when all the twink variety of young gay guys go from wearing shorts to short-shorts.

Sure Signs Of Spring In The Gay Community – Part Two

Tiny, delicate, buds of long-dormant wild flowers and other plants sprout forth from the life-giving earth; a diaphanous veil of delicate ice crystals coats the light green blades of new grass with the early morning frost; the feather of a migrating bird returning from its winter down south floats to the ground, lightly resting on the damp ground still wet from the refreshing spring rain; and it all gets trampled into one huge muddy mess as the gay guys return to the forest preserves eagerly looking for the next anonymous hook-up.

You Give Me Fever

According to one Web site I found, spring fever is an actual medical condition that involves, in part, '...a dilation or expansion of the blood vessels so that blood can be carried to the body surface where heat can be lost quickly.' However with gay spring fever there's expansion caused by a sudden increase of blood flow, but rather than losing heat, that's usually when things start to heat up.

Sure Signs Of Spring In The Gay Community – Part Three

The maypole gets used for certain, shall we say, 'unauthorized' uses.

Birdbrain

Baby birds have to learn how to sing.

Sure Signs Of Spring In The Gay Community – Part Four

The return of the barn swallows is nothing compared to the return of all the swallowing going on at the forest preserves.

Ye Olde Sprynge Tyme Quiz

You can go to www.beliefnet.com/section/quiz/index.asp to take a 'Spring Equinox Trivia' quiz that has a lot of references to Pagan mythology.

Swallow A Pussy This Spring

Sorry ladies, it's not quite 'that' sort of pussy. Instead, one Web site I found said 'Since Pagan times, the pussywillow's bloom was seen as a signpost for spring and was thought to have healthful qualities if ingested.'

No, Beat That Pussy Instead

From the same Web site: 'Pagan Ukrainians would cut the branches and swat one another with them to bless each other with the pussywillow's strength to come out of winter so early in the year.'

Have A Happy, Health Springtime – Part One

You might think that with the return of warmer weather and sunnier days, springtime would be a healthy time. Well, according to an herbal Web site I found: 'The diseases often common in spring include nosebleeds, inflammations, carbuncles, anginas, abscesses [ sic ] , aggravation of varicose veins, coughs, bronchitis, pneumonia, influenza, and measles. People in whom the phlegm humor predominates will show a tendency to apoplexy, paralysis, and arthritis.'

Have A Happy, Health Springtime – Part Two

According to the same Web site: 'The most effective means to avoid spring diseases, or lessen their severity, are purgatives, fasting or dietary restrictions, increasing fluids, and eliminating intoxicating liquors of all types.'

If You Insist On Kissing A Frog...

According to a Web site dealing with frog illnesses, 'Spring disease … is a lethal disease which occurs among certain temperate species during the breeding season. It is caused by Bacterium ranicida. Symptoms include a discoloration of the skin, lethargy and a continuous 'yawning.' At present, there seems to be no reliable treatment for this disease … '

Maybe She Kissed A Frog

The University of North Carolina's Estrich-Scheck 'spring death penalty events' got off to a false start when the first program had to be postponed when one of the speakers, Susan Estrich, became ill.

If you've ever kissed a frog ( and Little Jim's regulars don't count ) , you can e-mail me at PretzelLogicDave@aol.com and tell me all about it.


This article shared 4471 times since Wed May 7, 2008
facebook twitter google +1 reddit email

Out and Aging
Presented By

  ARTICLES YOU MIGHT LIKE

Gay News

Quiz program 'Wait, Wait' to start taping June 16 at the Studebaker 2022-05-16
- Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me!, NPR's weekly hour-long quiz program, will resume live audience recordings Thursday, June 16, in a new Chicago home: the historic Studebaker Theater at the Fine Arts Building, 401 S. Michigan Ave. ...


Gay News

'The Great Chicago Quiz Show' to debut March 26 2021-03-14
- The Great Chicago Quiz Show will premiere Friday, March 26, at 8 p.m. on WTTW and at WTTW.com/quiz, where at-home viewers can play alongside contestants. In each of the four weekly 30-minute episodes, Geoffrey Baer puts ...


Gay News

Youth urged to take quiz before World AIDS Day 2019-11-26
- As part of a continuing effort to educate young people about HIV prevention and treatment, Illinois HIV Care Connect has introduced HIV and youth web content to support the Y.O.U.T.H. (Youth Overcoming Undetected and Treatable HIV) ...


Gay News

Illinois HIV Care Connect offers Good Health Is More Than Health Care Quiz, resouces 2018-11-20
- Springfield, Ill. — As part of a continuing effort to assist people living with HIV who are affected by social determinants of health, Illinois HIV Care Connect today introduced "Good Health Is More Than Health Care" ...


Gay News

HIV Care Connect releases health quiz 2018-10-17
- In an effort to assist Illinois residents living with HIV who are affected by social determinants of health, Illinois HIV Care Connect has introduced the "Good Health Is More Than Health Care" Quiz. People living with ...


Gay News

For World AIDS Day, Illinois HIV Care Connect introduces new content, quiz 2017-11-29
From a press release - Springfield, Ill. — Nov. 29, 2017 — Due to treatment as prevention advancements, getting to zero HIV cases in Illinois is now an achievable goal. To encourage people living with HIV to follow treatment as prevention ...


Gay News

Illinois HIV+ people urged to take quiz 2016-09-28
- Illinois HIV Care Connect has introduced the HIV #StayinCare Quiz to raise awareness of the topic of staying in care, also known as "retention in care," Business Wire noted. By taking this quiz, people living with ...


Gay News

Illinois HIV+ people urged to take quiz 2016-09-07
- Illinois HIV Care Connect has introduced the HIV #StayinCare Quiz to raise awareness of the topic of staying in care, also known as "retention in care," Business Wire noted. By taking this quiz, people living with ...


Gay News

HIV Care Connect reworks education on HIV, mental health 2016-02-10
- Among the questions on Illinois HIV Care Connect's HIV and Mental Health Quiz is 'people living with HIV and a mental health condition have a more difficult time achieving viral suppression: True or False?" According to ...


Gay News

Wolf 2011-09-07
THEATER REVIEW - Playwright: Paul Cosca. At: Brikenbrak Theatre Project at the Think Tank, 1770 W. Berteau Ave. Phone: 312-806-3506;$10. Runs through: Sept. 17 You never know what will be on the quiz, so you might want to take ...


Gay News

BOOKS Chicago makes a rainbow connection 2010-01-06
- The Muppets have entranced and educated generations of children and generated nostalgic memories for millions of adults. Fans can even take a Facebook quiz to determine which Muppet they most resemble. Yet, comparatively little is known ...


Gay News

Bent Nights: Tim Fite and Benjy Ferree @ Schubas in February 2009-03-25
- Tim Fite comes across like an escapee from a Heather McAdams cartoon. A moon-faced gent with a wide-eyed quizzical stare like a three-year-old caught in the cookie jar, Fite—usually dressed in a white cotton striped suit—suggests ...


Gay News

WORLD ROUNDUP 2008-10-08
- Larry King quizzes Ahmadinejad on gays in Iran U.S. TV interviewer Larry King quizzed Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad on his nation's treatment of gays Sept. 23. There have been persistent, though unconfirmed, reports for years that ...


Gay News

pretzel logic 2008-04-16
- My column a few weeks back was a Pretzel Logic look at the male side of sex ed. Well, to give equal time to the other side, this column boldly goes where I have never personally gone myself with a Pretzel ...


Gay News

Dateland: Lesbian 101 2008-04-02
- Welcome to the second lesson of Lesbian 101. This lesson, and each subsequent one, will be posted at http://www.jenniferparello.com/les101.html. Before we begin this week's lesson, I must tell you a true story. The day after I ...


 


Copyright © 2024 Windy City Media Group. All rights reserved.
Reprint by permission only. PDFs for back issues are downloadable from
our online archives.

Return postage must accompany all manuscripts, drawings, and
photographs submitted if they are to be returned, and no
responsibility may be assumed for unsolicited materials.

All rights to letters, art and photos sent to Nightspots
(Chicago GLBT Nightlife News) and Windy City Times (a Chicago
Gay and Lesbian News and Feature Publication) will be treated
as unconditionally assigned for publication purposes and as such,
subject to editing and comment. The opinions expressed by the
columnists, cartoonists, letter writers, and commentators are
their own and do not necessarily reflect the position of Nightspots
(Chicago GLBT Nightlife News) and Windy City Times (a Chicago Gay,
Lesbian, Bisexual and Transgender News and Feature Publication).

The appearance of a name, image or photo of a person or group in
Nightspots (Chicago GLBT Nightlife News) and Windy City Times
(a Chicago Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual and Transgender News and Feature
Publication) does not indicate the sexual orientation of such
individuals or groups. While we encourage readers to support the
advertisers who make this newspaper possible, Nightspots (Chicago
GLBT Nightlife News) and Windy City Times (a Chicago Gay, Lesbian
News and Feature Publication) cannot accept responsibility for
any advertising claims or promotions.

 
 

TRENDINGBREAKINGPHOTOS







Sponsor


 



Donate


About WCMG      Contact Us      Online Front  Page      Windy City  Times      Nightspots
Identity      BLACKlines      En La Vida      Archives      Advanced Search     
Windy City Queercast      Queercast Archives     
Press  Releases      Join WCMG  Email List      Email Blast      Blogs     
Upcoming Events      Todays Events      Ongoing Events      Bar Guide      Community Groups      In Memoriam     
Privacy Policy     

Windy City Media Group publishes Windy City Times,
The Bi-Weekly Voice of the Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual and Trans Community.
5315 N. Clark St. #192, Chicago, IL 60640-2113 • PH (773) 871-7610 • FAX (773) 871-7609.