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  NIGHTSPOTS

from the booth
NO COVER by Chi Chi LaRue
by randy pubert
2006-06-21

This article shared 2451 times since Wed Jun 21, 2006
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Pubert recruits daredevil Colon Farehole out of the phone booth and into the porn booth to get help with his adult minority report. This S.W.A.T. team will stop bad movies in their tracks and promise a new world through their commentary. So grab your popcorn, your lube and enjoy the ride!

Judging a Porn By Its Cover

Pubert: The cover is great. I like the sleek packaging.

Colon: He's sitting a little low on the toilet on the back cover. He might just fall in.

It's closing time at a watering hole and two guys begin playing with a passed out drunk boy.

C: This bar looks tragic. I wouldn't be caught dead there.

P: Well, the guys that go there are hot apparently.

C: Asleep at the bar? Did he G out?

P: They're molesting the customers. Where's a manager?

C: He's still sleeping through the double-dutch suck.

P: Is he sleeping or faking? Oh, Sleeping Beauty is coming around.

C: I guess the best part of waking up is NOT Folger's in your cup!

P: I bet he has kitten breath after being asleep, gross.

C: Did he have appendix surgery? That is some rough trade.

P: I hope someone brought some Carmex after all that sucking.

After the three way ends with a bang on the pool table, we move into the bathroom.

P: The music is so suspenseful. Look at that dirty toilet.

C: Yeah, it needs a urinal cake.

P: Or some Saniflush. Check out the tightee-whities.

C: That one has rug burn on his balls.

P: It's Rudolph the red-balled reindeer.

C: Look, they're using jeans as a mat on the floor—truly versatile.

P: He does not want more ball burn!

C: The bottom's hard, that never happens.

P: He is smacking his own ass. He is in love with himself so much.

Following the bathroom bang, the bartender takes a fancy to his customer.

P: Ever slept with a bartender before? I only slept with that one...

C: This scene is not working. The skulls in the background get you out of the mood.

P: Colon, maybe some guys like the danger of crossbones. Seems to be working for these guys.

C: Speaking of bones, he has just enough meat on his bones.

P: He's sucking him through his jeans. The skinny one looks better with his clothes on.

Police bust in on our final scene.

P: Is this what you call a raid?

C: Police on twink, the policeman is a babe.

P: I am not into the cheap Superman tattoo, but I do want to see the movie.

C: Acting is superb. The guys are hot.

P: They are cute in person. These guys were in town for IML. We need more bars like this one in Chi-town.

Happy Pride, everyone!

Pubert: Thumbs up the butt

Colon: Thumbs up the butt


This article shared 2451 times since Wed Jun 21, 2006
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