Wild Rangers 3
by Centaur Films
with randy pubert
Pubert enlists his old friend Brad McGuire to take you behind the scenes and get the inside scoop. So grab your popcorn, take some notes and maybe one day you or your friend will be a porn star!
Judging a Porn By Its Cover
Pubert: So, what do you think of the cover?
Brad: I was not on the back cover, I was a little upset. Nice TV by the way.
P: Thanks. Do you feel weird about watching this with me?
B: No. You?
P: No. Okay, on with the show!
A ranger wildly goes in search of a kidnap victim. 'This is Ranger Long, we got a 1080 in progress.'
P: A '1080' must mean a naked guy tied to a chair.
B: Is the victim like twelve?
P: Rump ranger has a lisp. He sounds like Sylvester from Looney Tunes.
B: I worked with him before. He is a little full of himself.
P: I bet. Ranger Long has a long dong.
B: He licks his own cum—very tidy.
We skip to Ranger Brad's big scene with him chasing a fugitive through the woods.
B: He wouldn't run fast. Did you see I dropped my walkie-talkie?
P: You were running in circles. Was it windy?
B: A storm was coming in.
P: You're doing good with your lines.
B: I had to uncuff him in this part before he sucked me or by law it is considered rape.
P: I didn't know that. Too bad you didn't get a better co-star. I slept with a guy that looked like that but he was more into it.
B: This was a bad position. He was like asleep.
P: How long was the shoot?
B: A few hours; we took a break.
Last scene has the rangers meeting in a room with kidnap victims.
P: Now this plot is all coming together. When was this filmed?
B: Last summer.
P: That's last summer?!? It looks '80s.
B: It's a set.
P: Does he have a Simba tattoo? Uh oh, Disney is gonna sue.
B: There's Drew Peters. I've had sex with him before. He's good.
P: I made fun of him in another article because his tattoo is not colored in and he was working his way through porn to pay for it.
B: I read that one! It's more colored in now.
P: I am digging the French guy and I don't know why.
B: He just came like it was not planned. Good thing they got the shot.
P: The cover boy just arrived. Brock is a star! You know him?
B: Never met, but we have been in two movies together. Nice pairing— look at that body.
P: Yeah, you got the short end of the stick in your scene.
B: Brock won't bottom. Where are the other rangers?
P: Wait for Wild Rangers 4. Hopefully they'll ask you to be in that one.
B: I was in the first and third one, the second one was not a hit.
P: Well, of course not. No Ranger Brad to be had!
Pubert: Thumbs up the butt ( skip to Brad's or Brock's scene )
Brad: Thumbs up the butt
To purchase my buddy Brad McGuire's ranger adventures, go to www.centaurfilms.com .
Want to be a porn star friend of mine? E-mail me at pubert@windycitymediagroup.com
