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from the booth: LifeGuard!: The Men of Deep Water Beach
Judging a Porn By Its Cover
by Randy Pubert

This article shared 6691 times since Wed Jun 20, 2007
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Pubert: I'm picking all summer videos to review this month. Summer is finally here!

Ghost: I always like a star guide on the back. Ohhh, Ray Dragon.

P: Red Dragon?

G: No Ray, grrr…

Speaking of Ray Dragon, he plays the leader of the lifeguards in our first scene.

P: He's spying on gays at the beach.

G: Jan Brady's imaginary boyfriend George Glass stars in this video!

P: Ha ha, I gotta watch that episode when I get home.

We go inside the office of a father and his new son-in-law, taking a break from the sun.

P: Oh my gosh, he is taking off his clothes. What will his daughter say?

G: That's a horny dad.

P: He's playing mind games with the kid, very Silence of the Lifeguards.

G: Creepy. On the other hand, Cliff Rhodes is a really sexy man with a giant cock.

P: It is always good to use the other hand every once in a while.

G: Speaking of which, they are so seriously stroking each other dicks.

P: It's the gay man's handshake. Hello!

G: 10 points for that cumshot.

P: They are rerunning it like a thousand times!

G: They want their money's worth.

P: Thumbs up on that fountain o' spunk.

One of the lifeguards goes shopping in the next part.

P: That guy was at the Grabbys. Derrick Hansen.

G: He works out at my gym in San Francisco.

P: He just walked into the backroom of the store, like he lives there or something.

G: There are stacks of porn in the back. And now another guy wanders back there.

P: Are we at the Ram?

G: He can suck dick alright.

P: I would have been friendlier if I had known that at the Park West.

G: Here comes Mr. Frontdesk.

P: I can't believe that one man just called it a 'tallywhacker.' Fuckin hilarious.

G: After a hot three way, they all cum on the floor together.

P: Dirty sticky floors. Wait, they are not done.

G: This video is four hours, it is gonna last. They are fucking on the table now.

P: They are having a good time. Maybe because they know each other in real life.

G: Aggressive cummer, that store clerk.

P: The video just went black and white and turned into a fisting scene.

G: It's a sepia tone; this is the director's cut.

P: Well, a hardware store is the perfect place for gloves and lube.

The final scene is an interview for the new recruit on the beach.

P: He's making him try on his swimsuit in front of him.

G: And the other guy in the background is pumping weights and watching.

P: This is totally unethical.

G: Call the labor board. This is a HR violation!

P: I have seen a penis like that before. That banana curves way to the left.

G: It's not snack size.

P: Dragon is breathing fire up his ass.

G: He's so sexy. He gets to fuck his employee.

P: It's only a fantasy, G.

G: He is not going to fit in that speedo. His ass won't even fit.

P: His boss is sucking him. Don't fight it, new kid on the block!

G: Listen to his half-hearted protests.

P: 'No stop, ohh yeah…'

G: A sixth person is now joining in. This is getting distracting.

P: There are a lot of lives to save in this lifeguard office.

G: Best summer job ever. Some kid is probably drowning on the beach while all these guys are inside.

P: It's lasting into the night.

G: Switched into a watersport segment.

P: Hey readers, pick up the director's cut.

G: Yup, more bang for your buck.

P: I loved the beach music at the end. Frankie and Annette eat your heart out!

Pubert: Thumbs up the director's butt.

G: Thumbs up the butt.

To practice mouth to mouth with this lifeguard video go to .

For past reviews from Pubert and the gang visit www. and type in 'pubert.'

This article shared 6691 times since Wed Jun 20, 2007
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