Windy City Media Group Frontpage News

THE VOICE OF CHICAGO'S GAY, LESBIAN, BI, TRANS AND QUEER COMMUNITY SINCE 1985

home search facebook twitter join
Gay News Sponsor Pre-order Book!
Pre-order Book!
Donate

Sponsor
Sponsor

  NIGHTSPOTS

dateland
by Jennifer Parello
2007-08-29

This article shared 2190 times since Wed Aug 29, 2007
facebook twitter google +1 reddit email


I was sitting at home yesterday, minding my own business, trying to think happy thoughts, when the phone rang. It was a woman interested in renting a cottage that I own across the street from my home. She said that she was ending a relationship and needed a new place to live.

When she showed up a few minutes later, we both gasped in surprise. Turns out that we knew each other. She is an acquaintance, who we shall call Lady X, who I had met through close friends. I had just had dinner with her and her live-in girlfriend the night before. At dinner, they seemed rather chummy and the girlfriend gave no indication that their relationship was on the verge of imploding.

It was a rather awkward moment.

Earlier this year I moved to a small resort community populated by a large segment of the Chicago incestuous lesbian community. We all fled the city to get away from each other only to discover ourselves in even closer quarters. I can't go to the grocery store without having a clumsy encounter with women I vaguely remember from the bar scene a decade ago.

I have managed to keep myself out of much of the drama that takes place at an exhausting pace in this tight-knit, highly hysteric community. We're all in our 40s, so you'd think we would have grown out of the type of manic destructive impulses that fueled our social lives in our 20s. But not so. I get reports weekly about lesbians who have just adopted their third Chinese baby breaking up because one or both of them are sleeping with the nanny. Or couples that have been together for years splitting up because of some type of clandestine online dating fiasco.

My small clique of friends is rather happy and stable, so we merrily watch the romantic fireworks from the sidelines and tsk-tsk the antics of our more drama-prone sistahs.

But my own little group got sucked into the excitement yesterday after Lady X made a hurried inspection on my rental cottage and got the hell away from me before I could ask too many embarrassing questions about her crumbling relationship. I summoned my friends to my home to discuss the situation.

'What are you going to do about this?' demanded Greta.

'Do I have to do anything about it?' I asked. I thought my only obligation was to gossip about it. I didn't think I was obliged to take any action-like snitching to Lady X's girlfriend, who I barely know and who is kind of scary.

'Oh, but you must tell the girlfriend,' Stacy said. 'You can't let her be blindsided!'

We spent the next several hours having an extended version of the conversation detailed above. It didn't help that we had gotten into the cooking sherry, which only made us repeat ourselves and become increasingly righteous. By the end of the evening, we all agreed that it was my responsibility—No! My duty!—to tell Lady X's girlfriend that she was about to be dumped.

This morning I woke up with a wicked hangover and a better perspective. I realized that the only reason to get involved would be to inject some drama into my own boring, but happy life. I took a moment to review the soap opera that was my 20s and early 30s and decided that I had already exhausted my supply of romantic intrigue for a lifetime. Then I called Lady X and told her that I rented the cottage to someone else.

Hey! I wrote a book. It's a novel called Dateland. In the words of the great showman Mike Todd, 'It ain't Shakespeare, but it's Laffs.' You can buy it at Unabridged Books and on Amazon.


This article shared 2190 times since Wed Aug 29, 2007
facebook twitter google +1 reddit email





Windy City Media Group does not approve or necessarily agree with the views posted below.
Please do not post letters to the editor here. Please also be civil in your dialogue.
If you need to be mean, just know that the longer you stay on this page, the more you help us.


  ARTICLES YOU MIGHT LIKE

Gay News

dateland 2007-12-19
- Readers, let's get this out in the open: I'm going to admit something that you have all been far too polite to tell me. This mystery series is one of the lamest things I've ever written. ...


Gay News

dateland 2007-11-21
- I first met Ellen at a charity event. It was a typical lesbian affair. The price of admission entitled you to cheap beer and several awkward encounters with women you've been trying to avoid for years. ...


Gay News

dateland 2007-11-07
- I'm not certain why Lucy asked me out because everything I did seemed to irritate her. The only reason I decided to go out with her was because I enjoyed irritating her. On our first date, ...


Gay News

dateland 2007-10-24
- y first date with Vanessa was on one of those damp, wind-whipped autumn days that make you yearn for flannel blankets, long naps, and large dogs that have no respect for your personal boundaries. The date ...


Gay News

dateland 2007-10-17
- This is how it always begins: a draught followed by a storm. For three months my dating landscape was as barren as the surface of the moon. And, then, suddenly, I was in demand. This situation ...


Gay News

BOOK REVIEW: Dateland 2007-10-03
- Author Jennifer Parello. McKenna Publishing Group, 198 pages, $19 Jennifer Parello's debut novel, Dateland, is a fun romp through a world populated entirely by lesbians who talk non-stop in the kind of patter made famous—if not ...


Gay News

dateland 2007-09-26
- I had a few friends over for dinner last night. All of them are in long-term relationships-10, 20, 30 years. So, just to stir up trouble, I asked them all to tell me stories about their dating adventures before they met ...


Gay News

dateland 2007-09-12
- What they don't tell you in lesbian school is that when you get involved in a relationship, you also get in a relationship with your new girlfriend's friends. This can prove to be a strain on ...


Gay News

Dateland 2007-08-01
- There's a song from Gentleman Prefer Blondes that's called 'When Love Goes Wrong.' The first line of the song is: 'When love goes wrong, nothing goes right, this one thing I know.' For years, I believed ...


Gay News

Parello Out with Dateland 2007-08-01
- Jennifer Parello, who writes a column called 'Dateland' for the Windy City Media Group publication Nightspots, has come out with a book of the same name. Dateland is a novel that follows the romantic adventures ...


Gay News

Dateland 2007-07-18
- For years I've been trying to convince my friends to buy matching outfits. I don't want us to dress the same every day. That would be creepy, and, possibly, against the law. All I have asked is that on one evening ...


Gay News

dateland 2007-07-04
- s I was preparing for a move recently, I found a stash of love letters from old girlfriends. As I read them, I came to the conclusion that most love letters are really stupid. That's no reflection on the writing skills ...


Gay News

dateland 2007-06-20
- Although I have no desire to have children myself, I've often fantasized about getting involved with a single mother. Being a stepmother seemed to have all the benefits of motherhood without the hassles. You'd be the ...


Gay News

dateland 2007-05-23
- I recently moved out of the city to a small resort town on Lake Michigan. Why did I do this? To answer this question would raise existential issues that I'm not comfortable addressing without a drink ...


Gay News

dateland 2007-03-28
- Jere's the problem with England's civil partnership ceremonies (CPC) : the government won't allow participants to refer to God, sex, or marriage during the ceremony, but it's perfectly okay to use the word 'ephemeral.' ...


 



Copyright © 2021 Windy City Media Group. All rights reserved.
Reprint by permission only. PDFs for back issues are downloadable from
our online archives. Single copies of back issues in print form are
available for $4 per issue, older than one month for $6 if available,
by check to the mailing address listed below.

Return postage must accompany all manuscripts, drawings, and
photographs submitted if they are to be returned, and no
responsibility may be assumed for unsolicited materials.
All rights to letters, art and photos sent to Nightspots
(Chicago GLBT Nightlife News) and Windy City Times (a Chicago
Gay and Lesbian News and Feature Publication) will be treated
as unconditionally assigned for publication purposes and as such,
subject to editing and comment. The opinions expressed by the
columnists, cartoonists, letter writers, and commentators are
their own and do not necessarily reflect the position of Nightspots
(Chicago GLBT Nightlife News) and Windy City Times (a Chicago Gay,
Lesbian, Bisexual and Transegender News and Feature Publication).

The appearance of a name, image or photo of a person or group in
Nightspots (Chicago GLBT Nightlife News) and Windy City Times
(a Chicago Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual and Transgender News and Feature
Publication) does not indicate the sexual orientation of such
individuals or groups. While we encourage readers to support the
advertisers who make this newspaper possible, Nightspots (Chicago
GLBT Nightlife News) and Windy City Times (a Chicago Gay, Lesbian
News and Feature Publication) cannot accept responsibility for
any advertising claims or promotions.

 

 

 

TRENDINGBREAKINGPHOTOS







Sponsor
Sponsor


 



Donate


About WCMG      Contact Us      Online Front  Page      Windy City  Times      Nightspots      OUT! Guide     
Identity      BLACKlines      En La Vida      Archives      Advanced Search     
Windy City Queercast      Queercast Archives     
Press  Releases      Join WCMG  Email List      Email Blast      Blogs     
Upcoming Events      Todays Events      Ongoing Events      Bar Guide      Community Groups      In Memoriam      Outguide Categories      Outguide Advertisers      Search Outguide      Travel      Dining Out      Privacy Policy     

Windy City Media Group publishes Windy City Times,
The Bi-Weekly Voice of the Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual and Trans Community.
5315 N. Clark St. #192, Chicago, IL 60640-2113 • PH (773) 871-7610 • FAX (773) 871-7609.