Move over Morton's. Step aside Sullivan's. And Gibson's, prepare for a challenge. There's a new steakhouse in town that's ready to give the Chicago classics a run for their money.
Last week Mastro's Steakhouse moved into the space formerly occupied by Blue Water Grill. The place is decadent in every way and very dark ( no really, the waiter brings a flashlight to show you the wine list ) . The floors are covered in gleaming black marble, the tables dressed in pristine white linens, and the walls are lined with back-lit wine cellars. The waiters are impeccably dressed in white coats and black bowties, and ready to indulge your every whim. There's live music in the bar. On the evening I visited, there was a distinguished older gentleman crooning at a sleek grand piano. Walking into Mastro's is not unlike stepping onto the set of Mad Men—except instead of packs of Lucky Strikes and ashtrays on the tables, you'll find Blackberries and iPhones.
Any good steakhouse feast begins with a martini, right? I'm always up for keeping in theme ( and pretending I am Betty Draper ) , so I decided I'd start with a martini. Then I looked at the drink list and saw that a martini at Mastro's will set you back $16 to $18. Yikes! Oh well, I had already placed my order for a Framboise Flirtini ( Belvedere Black Raspberry vodka, fresh raspberries and Chandon Sparkling Rose with hints of mint and lime ) . What a happy accident! My $18 martini was practically bottomless. I am no teetotaler, but I literally could not finish this thing. Every time my glass got less than two-thirds full, a genteel waiter swiftly arrived to top it up from the shaker sitting beside it. So, at the end of the day, I'm pretty sure the $18 martini was actually three martinis—what a recession-proof treat in disguise!
Mastro's appetizer list features every kind of seafood or shellfish you could possibly desire. You can choose from among shrimp cocktail, Alaskan king crab legs, oysters on the half shell, lobster cocktail, or one of many other delicacies, and the wait staff will arrange your selections in a dazzling seafood tower. Mammoth shrimp and meaty lobster claws nestled in lemon-studded ice will arrive at your table, at which point your waiter will activate some hidden dry ice and place the smoking monstrosity on your table. By the time I finished two shrimp that were practically the size of my palm, I was already in love. Then I got to the crab claws that were pre-cracked, so all I had to do was stick my tiny seafood fork in there to grab huge hunks of sweet crab meat.
So, you're probably wondering, "What about the meat??" Well, Mastro's has it for you, in every cut you could ever want—from an eight-ounce petite filet that smelled irresistible every time one of them passed my table to an $86 double-cut 48-ounce Porterhouse. I shared a 33-ounce Wagyu ribeye with my girlfriend—and, honestly, we could've shared it with another three or four very hungry people. It's huge! I felt kind of like Fred and Wilma Flintstone digging into a platter of brontosaurus ribs. Joking aside, this beef was seasoned to utter perfection and sliced into thin strips. I will say it was just a teeny-tiny bit dryer than I would have liked. But, they spoil you so rotten at this place, you can get pretty demanding by the time your entrée arrives.
OK, I know steakhouses are all about the meat. But let's not fool ourselves—who among us is not in it at least partly for the side dishes? I advise skipping lunch before dining at Mastro's because they have 24 ( !?! ) tantalizing side-dish options. Twice-baked potatoes, gorgonzola mac & cheese, creamed spinach, sautéed asparagus, shoestring potatoes, French green beans almondine and no fewer than five different kinds of mashed potatoes—it's side-dish heaven. I tried the lobster mashed potatoes, which have officially made all other food seem like pitiful, tasteless piles of mush to me. These are the most buttery and creamy mashed potatoes I've ever eaten, and they are mixed with big, juicy hunks of lobster. Ah-may-zing! I also had the Alaskan king crab black truffle gnocchi. I don't think they could jam any more deliciously decadent ingredients into this dish if they tried. It's so rich, two or three bites were plenty for me ( and completely worth ruining my diet ) .
Mastro's makes it next to impossible to save room for dessert, but you're here to indulge, so do it anyway. There's an espresso-soaked chocolate sin cake, which is sufficiently sinful and delicious, and an above-average cheesecake with a buttery graham cracker crust on the bottom and a layer of sweetened sour cream on top. But sometimes, the simplest things in life are the best, and that is certainly true of Mastro's dessert menu. If I can offer one piece of advice, it is this: Order the signature warm butter cake!! I'm fairly certain there is more butter than flour in this thing, and bite after buttery bite, all of your troubles and worries will melt away as you sink into a food coma. Did I mention that it's topped with fresh vanilla gelato?
You could easily make a serious dent in your retirement savings without even trying at Mastro's, but if you're looking to splurge or celebrate a special occasion ( or your boss is paying for the meal! ) , put this place on the top of your list.
Mastro's Steakhouse is located at 520 N. Dearborn; call 312-521-5100 or visit www.mastrosrestaurants.com .
Want to know what I'm eating and what I think about it between my columns? Follow me on Twitter—@SugarAndSpiceMS.
