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  NIGHTSPOTS

MARRS attacks: Frickin' February
by Homer Marrs
2011-02-16

This article shared 1329 times since Wed Feb 16, 2011
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February has got to be the worst month of the year: Cold, compressed, and cruel. I wonder if the harsh weather is the underlying reason people act so impatient, uncomfortable, and sad all month long. Or maybe the culprit is Valentine's Day? I don't have the statistics, but my guess is that more of us feel emotionally put in check by Valentine's Day than as ooey and gooey as Hallmark would have it.

Let's start with the cold. We make jokes about it, and that might be the only thing that stops us from killing each other, but for real: it's colder than a frosty ice bitch out there. (You haven't heard of a frosty ice bitch? Believe me, they're nasty.)

Getting up and walking to the train in the morning becomes almost as arduous as the job to which the train takes us. So for many of us, our bodies already feel like we've put in a full day's work by the time we get to the office. The workday starts on an exhausting note, and we still have eight hours to go.

The worst is when you bundle up and feel the wind rip through your hat and gloves, tearing right through your layers of defenses as if to carve into your skin, "Mother Nature was here."

And this is just Chicago! There are actually cities, like Minneapolis and Fargo, that have it worse!

Also, I think we all have seasona-affective disorder. It only seems to make sense. Studies have proven that sunlight releases endorphines in our brains that make us feel good—hence "light therapy" and why some people get addicted to tanning beds. While the days do technically get longer after December 21, it's only about a hairsbreadth more each day.

If you start the darkness clock in October when Daylight Savings Time ends and we fall back an hour, then by February we've suffered long nights and short days for almost four months. Maybe it's just all that dreariness coming to a head. I don't know a single person who doesn't struggle with staying cheerful this time of year.

But wait, there's more—now is the time of year we're expected to celebrate love! Sorry, we can't do that in May or June. That would feel too natural.

Valentine's Day. I don't hate you, I promise. In fact, this year I had a boyfriend with whom to celebrate you like they do on TV. Still, I question your existence. On one hand, it sounds nice to have one day out of the whole year set aside when we all agree to focus on love. Because hey, doesn't love kinda kick ass?

However! The obvious backlash here is against those who don't have a special someone on February 14. It's a nice, big challenge to their self-esteem and security. No, Valentine's Day isn't responsible for anyone's feeling down, but it is hard to be the kid with a homemade lunch when all the other kids are having hot lunch parties.

(Kids have hot lunch parties, right? Well, it was just an analogy. The homemade lunch was being single, the hot lunch was being in a relationship … makes total sense.)

Furthermore, those who do have a special someone are forced to push their relationship to the front of their mind on this holiday. In general, I'm in favor of staying on top of your feelings for your partner, taking snapshots of the relationship's progress, etc. But something about Valentine's Day makes a lot of people feel like their relationship is flawed for not being ideal (though really, no one's ever is).

Marching toward the spring, I look forward to getting the F done with February.


This article shared 1329 times since Wed Feb 16, 2011
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