Robin and Jason Delgatto have been dating for almost 11 years, been married ( in Iowa ) for close to five years, and resided in Boystown for nine years.
However, they soon will be adding "dad" to their resumes.
So first, a baby shower, that Jason's stepmom and sister planned, was held March 29 … at Sidetrack. It was the first-ever baby shower held at the long-standing Lakeview bar, confirmed Sidetrack co-owner Art Johnston.
"To us, Sidetrack is a little bit more than just a bar," Robin said. "When we walk our dog, the staff comes out to give him treats. I've performed on their stages [at Sidetrack] more than once. Our friends and neighbors work there. It's a classy bar without being stuck up. I love show tunes and comedy, and so do they. It's where we go to get dumb and drunk, and it's where we go to attend events for marriage equality. This neighborhood is home, and Sidetrack is the living room. It's where everyone feels most comfortable."
Jason added, "When my family started the shower planning, we gave [Sidetrack] to them as a [location] option, among many, and it turned out to have the best offerings, and the best planning staff that they encountered. I also like the idea of gay bars evolving as the LGBT community evolves. There was a documentary that discussed how gay bars resulted from the community coming together and creating a safe oasis for people, so it makes sense for them to continue to play a role as that community begins getting married and having kids."
Chuck Hyde, general manager at Sidetrack, said that when he got the call about hosting the baby shower, he just smiled. "I would not have considered it possible even a few years ago, and now I think of even more possibilities offered to LGBT couples. Yes, marriage has changed our lives. Dealing with the family has been a delight and a very self-reflective exercise," he said.
Robin, 34, is an actor/administrative assistant and future stay-at-home dad. He is an ensemble member of GayCo productions, a sketch comedy group that started as a lesbigay-focused workshop at The Second City Training Center in 1996, he said.
Jason, 31, is the senior director of learning for Network for Teaching Entrepreneurship ( NFTE ), a non-profit that provides entrepreneurship education to students in low-income areas as an effort to engage them in learning and prepare them for successful futures, he said.
The two met on the Internet on America Online and met for the first time in December 2001.
"After talking exclusively online for a couple months, we met in person and became good, albeit long-distance, friends. We always knew there was a strong connection between us, but the timing was bad," Robin said.
Then, in May 2003, Jason came to Robin's performance in You're a Good Man, Charlie Brown, "and something just clicked," Robin said.
Robin proposed to Jason on their fourth anniversary ( May 17, 2007 ) and they got married on their fifth anniversary.
They had their first consultation at a suburban fertility center on March 25, 2013, and they learned of the positive pregnancy test on Sept. 25, 2013.
"These nine months are flying by and simultaneously feel like they are taking forever," Robin said. "Sometimes it's hard to grasp that, in about two months, we will meet the person we are going to love more than anyone in the world, and for the rest of our lives."
Jason added, "We got extremely lucky that everything lined up and the fertility process worked on the first try. It seems like it's been forever because the planning started before the actual conception, but to think that it has already been a year since our first consultation is kind of crazy."
In 2001, Robin worked for his then-boyfriend's mother at Fertility Centers of Illinois in Glenview. He always wanted children, but that was the first time it occurred to him that, as gay man, it could happen—and he could still be genetically related to the child.
"Genetic connection isn't important to everyone, but it is important to me," Robin said. "This is where I got the idea to use [my] sisters' eggs."
Ultimately, it's Jason's sister's egg with Robin's sperm.
It's a girl
Robin and Jason were in Michigan this past December when they learned the baby was "definitely a girl."
Both started the cry, with joy.
They baby's name is Ivy Elizabeth Delgatto.
"We landed on Ivy after a long list of great girls' names that never felt right," Robin said. "One day we were just driving and I [suggested] 'Ivy' and Jason [agreed]. It's strong and feminine, but not frilly and girly. Unique, but not uncommon or weird."
Jason added, "It's amazing that we're able to go through this process and have a baby that very much belongs to both families. Of course, any baby that is adopted, or families that use an anonymous donor/surrogate, is loved just as much. However, it's been such an amazing experience for strengthening both families, coming together to support us, something that we can't even begin to express our gratitude to those who helped this come true."
Both encouraged other same-sex couples, especially men, considering having children of their own. "We were obviously not the first trailblazers, but much of this process was still clouded with uncertainty and red tape," Jason said. "There is a growing number of resources to support same-sex parents to-be, but the process for fertility options and adoptions can still be very daunting, especially for male couples. However, now that we are near the end of the process, we don't regret one second of the process. Hopefully, more LGBT couples will continue to tell their stories and inspire others to start families of their own."
Robin added, "We are so ready for this change. I feel like we have been ready since we got married in 2008, but everything needed to fall into place. We had our fun, and now we are all partied out. We are still young enough to have the energy to deal with a baby, but we're slowing down in other ways. Our idea of a fun Friday night is eating dinner in the living room and playing with our dog. Our dog is just a year and a half old, so we've had our test run at parenthood. Anyone who has ever adopted an 8-week-old puppy can tell you, there are a lot of similarities to actual parenthood. Hopefully our daughter won't chew up our floorboards or pee on our bed. Ok—she'll probably pee on our bed."
