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Home Invasion, Titan Media, A Joe Gage movie
by Randy Pubert & Dick Groeper

This article shared 2743 times since Wed Apr 13, 2011
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Pubert: I just had my home broken into by my ex-boyfriend this week.

Groeper: Your everyday life is a porn movie.

P: I hope I don't have a flashback watching this.

G: The cover is scary. There is a menacing gun and ass.

P: They might both be loaded

Water splashes on the rocks as we arrive at a remote mansion in the middle of nowhere.

G: This set is so far from civilization.

P: Is there going to be sex on the beach?

G: No, a young man is entering the house because the door was left open.

P: His dad is already tied up by a kidnapper. That's a missed opportunity.

G: Youngster is heading out of the guesthouse.

P: Some Hardy Boy he is; he didn't even see them.

G: Sherlock Holmes is already webcamming at the computer.

P: This video has more in common with me than just a break-in!

G: You used to do that?

P: Before all this writing made me famous.

G: Maybe you should make a sex tape and really get to be famous.

P: I think it would be famously bad!

G: Talk about bad, the acting is extremely bad in this production already.

P: Hardy has no reaction when the intruder is spying on him at the computer.

G: Isn't that weird that he is at his dad's house but just opens the door to a stranger?

P: The kid is putting on the smallest thong ever. It covers nothing.

G: The intruder brought his own skimpy underwear?

P: I smell a set up!

G: That banana hammock barely covers the grapes!

Scene flips back to the father with his captor.

G: More sons are on the way.

P: Funny how there is a panic button conveniently placed by the father's hand under the table.

G: You should have had an alarm in your place when your ex broke in!

P: How much does a panic button cost?

G: Why not just get a whole panic room like Jodie Foster?

P: If Jared Leto breaks in I wouldn't need it!

One of the father's sons finds an intruder in his place.

G: This house is full of thieves in the temple.

P: And full of the worst and most awkward acting in a film that I have seen in a while.

G: The Navy son likes sucking a weenie.

P: So a policeman shows up because of the alarm and papa is forced to make him leave.

G: The father answers the door with his fly open.

P: That's rolling out the red carpet.

G: It doesn't seem like he wants to the prowler caught.

P: His son Toby is the town tramp online.

G: Who talks about their son like that?

P: His penis is pulling the policeman in.

G: Look, there are no curtains on the window.

P: This is the most voyeuristic video ever.

The whole town invades the mansion when everyone wants a piece of Toby.

P: I think Toby is better at sucking than bottoming.

G: Tony topped Toby on a table.

P: The acting and plot were so confusing.

G: There were big, long pauses and uncomfortable acting that left me looking for another invasion.

P: Titan Men is going to have to invade my home if they want me to recommend this flick.

Pubert: Thumbs down the throat.

Groeper: Thumbs down the throat.

Log onto to for your own Home Invasion.

This article shared 2743 times since Wed Apr 13, 2011
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