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  NIGHTSPOTS

FROM THE BOOTH
JUDGING A PORN BY ITS COVER
by Randy Pubert & Dick Groeper
2010-11-10

This article shared 2914 times since Wed Nov 10, 2010
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New York's Hottest Top Model, Real Urban Men Productions, starring Chad Knight

Pubert: Take this, Tyra, and suck on it; here's a top porn model.

Groeper: You interviewed the lesbian on the current season correct?

P: Yes, Kayla. She is doing really well in the competition.

G: This cover is a little bland and gray.

P: I picked this one for the title, not the cover.

Smokey is folding towels in a small apartment. Ace knocks at the door and states that he's here for the top model audition.

G: Well, at least this is realistic; that apartment is definitely in New York.

P: Yes, it's tiny. Look at the little refrigerator. It looks like it would hold about one Coke can.

G: Ace immediately walks in and heads for the shower.

P: His name is Ace Rockwood? Is this The Flintstones?

G: "Rock Me Amadeus!" He's hung.

P: Smokey just told him he missed a spot and is toweling him off.

G: I never dry off enough after a shower.

P: There is always a hard-to-reach place, right?

G: He just asked as he dropped the towel, "Why don't you put your mouth on it and make it grow up?"

P: Are you kidding?

G: Is this part of the audition process?

P: He's holding his mouth open.

G: Wow, how does he not choke?

P: Rockwell is real bossy.

G: Rockwood! Do you always feel like "someone is watching you?"

P: Yes, and "I have no privacy."

G: He's rocking that bed.

P: He just came on Smokey's pierced tongue!

One model has an audition but refuses to get out of bed until another sucks him off.

G: Talk about blackmail...

P: ...and black male.

G: His name is Nubius.

P: As in nubius cloud?

G: That's a nimbus cloud.

P: This guy was in Chi Chi's Black Balled 7.

G: He's performing some weird move on him.

P: It's the backwards-rub-the-hole-with-a-dick-trick.

G: That takes some skills.

P: What is up with the Adonis' hair underneath his black head wrap?

G: It looks like he dyed his hair red and blonde, maybe for a sports team?

P: That's why he's keeping it on during sex.

G: He's literally fucking him sideways.

One model name Charger is posing for a photo shoot in various states of disrobe.

P: Remember to "smize!"

G: Where's Nigel Barker? This kid needs direction.

P: Or Jay Manuel? I bet he would enjoy lubing up this model.

G: This is a solo scene. It gives new meaning to "go-see."

P: How is he gonna win Top Model? Topping himself?

G: He's going to lose that diamond ring fingering his hole like that!

P: This one is cute, I'll give him that.

Paris, the next top model, telephones for a masseur before a photo shoot.

P: Paris just said, "I hope you know what you are doing," as he straddles him.

G: And Aquarius replied, "I will try."

P: What kind of professional says he will try?

G: That is not a massage, more like a pat down.

P: Well, he is massaging his penis with his tongue.

G: Look at the sexual position. His legs are off to one side and crossed.

P: That is a new one. He's climbing Paris' Eiffel Tower.

G: He just gave him a high five after sex.

P: If someone did that to me, I would kick him out of my bedroom!

G: This movie was very low-budget, but that's part of its charm.

P: The music and bad graphic effects makes it feel dated and it was made in 2010.

Pubert: Finger down the throat.

Groeper: Thumbs up the butt.

To go-see the results of the contest and to purchase this flick visit www.RealUrbanMen.com .


This article shared 2914 times since Wed Nov 10, 2010
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