Windy City Media Group Frontpage News


home search facebook twitter join
Gay News Sponsor Windy City Times 2023-12-13



by Jennifer Parello

This article shared 2619 times since Wed Jul 18, 2007
facebook twitter google +1 reddit email

For years I've been trying to convince my friends to buy matching outfits. I don't want us to dress the same every day. That would be creepy, and, possibly, against the law. All I have asked is that on one evening during our yearly vacation to P-Town that we wear the same outfits to dinner. Not an unreasonable request. And it would make for a lovely group photo.

Every year before our vacation I bring up the idea of matching outfits. And every year I am called terrible names by my good friends. They use words like 'fool,' and 'hopelessly bourgeois,' and 'dimwit.'

Last year, though, it seemed like I finally convinced my friend Greta that it was a good idea. She phoned me to tell me that she had found the perfect outfits. Her idea was that each of my friends would wear a T-shirt that said: 'I'm with Stupid.' You know, the ones with the big finger pointing to the left. We would walk down the main street of P-Town with me at the far left of the line, so that all their 'I'm with Stupid' fingers pointed in my direction. My T-shirt would simply say 'Stupid.'

Well, everyone, except me, had a good laugh over that idea. My friends stopped calling me by my old, saucy nickname—J-Lo—and started referring to me as Stupid.

But, guess what? Stupid was the one laughing this week! I did something so incredibly dumb that even I started referring to myself as Stupid. And because my actions hurt only others—and not me—I found the situation to be ridiculously amusing.

Here's what happened: Greta sent me an email filled with lots of intimate information. She had engaged in some questionable behavior and now feared the consequences. She wanted my advice on how to wiggle out of the situation with little emotional fallout.

I wrote back immediately, giving stern, yet carefully reasoned advice. I merrily pushed the 'send' button, turned off the computer, and spent the rest of the morning rolling around the floor with my dogs.

Later that afternoon, I returned to my email, fully expecting to find an email from Greta, thanking me for my thoughtful advice. But, instead, I found a missive decorated with those alarming red-high-priority-flags. The email rattled in my inbox, shaking with anger.

It seems that when I responded to Greta's email, I accidentally copied a British friend on the message. As a result, all of England learned of Greta's dirty ( very dirty! ) little secrets.

Greta's email started out with 'I'm going to kill you,' and ended with 'What kind of imbecile can't figure out how to send an email without touching off an international incident?'

The answer, of course, is the type of imbecile who is referred to by her friends as 'Stupid.'

All my friends know that I can't be trusted with technology. I have a healthy suspicion of all things that you have to plug into electric sockets. I have a cell phone but I never use it because I find it to be as dangerous and confusing as a nuclear submarine. And I've long suspected that my computer will jump off my desk and murder me in my sleep.

Yesterday, I sent an email to Greta. It said, 'Do you think this is funny yet?'

She sent a one-word response. 'No.'

But she will. Eventually. You can't stay angry at the lame brained. It's not humane.

Hey! I wrote a novel! It's called Dateland. You can buy it on Amazon.

This article shared 2619 times since Wed Jul 18, 2007
facebook twitter google +1 reddit email

Out and Aging
Presented By


Gay News

David E. Munar reflects on Howard Brown leadership and new Columbus, Ohio post 2024-04-11
- On April 1, David E. Munar started his tenure as CEO of the Columbus, Ohio-based non-profit health system Equitas. The date marked the latest chapter for Munar, who previously helmed AIDS Foundation Chicago and, most recently, ...

Gay News

WORLD World leaders, Namibia attack, Taiwan electoral win, Irish LGBTQ+ groups 2024-01-19
- In the wake of Gabriel Attal being named France's newest prime minister, PinkNews published a list of every out LGBTQ+ world leader to date. They include ex-San Marino head of state Paolo Rondelli, former Iceland Prime ...

Gay News

SHOWBIZ 'Shucked,' Melissa Etheridge, 'Elite,' composer dies, Orville Peck 2023-10-19
- The Broadway production Shucked has set a closing date of Jan. 14, 2024 at the Nederlander Theatre, Playbill noted. At closing, the Tony-nominated musical will have played 28 previews and 327 regular performances. A North American ...

Gay News

Beyonce concert film 'Renaissance' debuting Dec. 1 2023-10-03
- Media outlets have reported that the theatrical release date for Renaissance: A Film By Beyonce—a movie chronicling the superstar's most recent world tour—is Dec. 1. Advance tickets are already available for sale on major theater chains ...

Gay News

Support group for LGBT widows and widowers unites members in grief 2023-09-30
- In May of 2016, C. Russell Bond of Wilmette founded a monthly support group for LGBT widows and widowers. The group's most recent September meeting happened to fall one day after an anniversary date with ...

Gay News

"The Mattachine Family" to open Reeling: The Chicago LGBTQ+ International Film Fest Sept. 21 2023-08-02
--From a press release - Chicago, Illinois (August 2, 2023) — Reeling: The Chicago LGBTQ+ International Film Festival today announced the dates and opening night presentation for its 41st edition, running Sept. 21 - Oct. 8, 2023. This year, the second-longest ...

Gay News

Equality Illinois heralds July 1 effective date of trans-affirming birth certificate law 2023-06-28
--From a press release - CHICAGO — Effective July 1, trans and gender-expansive individuals born in Illinois will be able to self-identify for gender marker corrections on their birth certificates because of a law approved by Governor JB Pritzker earlier this ...

Gay News

Billy Masters: And Anderson doesn't makes three 2023-05-22
- "We could have some good threesomes, me and Anderson." —Andy Cohen's response to Sherri Shepherd's question about his sex life, threesomes, and why he doesn't just date Anderson Cooper. Andy quickly added, "Because, by the way—excuse ...

Gay News

Vermont enacts most comprehensive transgender healthcare protections to date 2023-05-11
--From a press release - May 10, 2023 (MONTPELIER) — Vermont Gov. Phil Scott signed into law two bills—HB 89 and SB 37—protecting access to essential healthcare for transgender people. The new laws come as at least 18 states have moved ...

Gay News

WORLD Grindr in Egypt, police report, queer tango, Human Rights Watch, Gay Games 2023-03-31
- Dating app Grindr is warning its users in Egypt that police are allegedly using fake accounts to entrap those seeking dates on the platform, after a spike in recent arrests of LGBTQ+ people, MSN noted via ...

Gay News

Mayor Lightfoot, DCASE announce dates for summer festivals and events 2023-03-13
--From a press release - CHICAGO—Today, Mayor Lori E. Lightfoot and the Department of Cultural Affairs and Special Events (DCASE) announced the 2023 dates for some of the City of Chicago's most beloved summertime traditions. Returning festivals and events include ...

Gay News

At 'FIRST(ISH)' Sight: Producer Ashley Flowers speaks on 'honest' representation 2023-02-22
- Ashley Flowers—a producer, co-creator and actor in the short film First(ish) Date, now in pre-production—wears many creative hats. She also has an extensive resume working with stage and film props as well; Flowers has been working ...

Gay News

Chicago Red Stars announce 2023 schedule 2023-02-08
--From a press release - CHICAGO, Ill. (February 8, 2022) — The Chicago Red Stars and the National Women's Soccer League (NWSL) announced today the schedule for the 2023 NWSL season. In addition to releasing regular-season dates, the NWSL revealed the ...

Gay News

Beyonce adds second Chicago date to tour 2023-02-05
- Beyonce—now the most-decorated singer in Grammys history—has added a second Chicago date to her newly announced "Renaissance" world tour, according to The Chicago Tribune. She will now perform at Soldier Field on July 22-23. H ...

Gay News

WORLD Brazilian musician, top LGBTQ+ cruises, Elon Musk, anti-trans attack 2022-11-20
- Brazilian musician Pedro Sampaio revealed that he dates men and women, Out noted. Sampaio has 7 million monthly listeners on Spotify, more than 5 million followers on Instagram and several music videos with more than 50 ...


Copyright © 2024 Windy City Media Group. All rights reserved.
Reprint by permission only. PDFs for back issues are downloadable from
our online archives.

Return postage must accompany all manuscripts, drawings, and
photographs submitted if they are to be returned, and no
responsibility may be assumed for unsolicited materials.

All rights to letters, art and photos sent to Nightspots
(Chicago GLBT Nightlife News) and Windy City Times (a Chicago
Gay and Lesbian News and Feature Publication) will be treated
as unconditionally assigned for publication purposes and as such,
subject to editing and comment. The opinions expressed by the
columnists, cartoonists, letter writers, and commentators are
their own and do not necessarily reflect the position of Nightspots
(Chicago GLBT Nightlife News) and Windy City Times (a Chicago Gay,
Lesbian, Bisexual and Transgender News and Feature Publication).

The appearance of a name, image or photo of a person or group in
Nightspots (Chicago GLBT Nightlife News) and Windy City Times
(a Chicago Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual and Transgender News and Feature
Publication) does not indicate the sexual orientation of such
individuals or groups. While we encourage readers to support the
advertisers who make this newspaper possible, Nightspots (Chicago
GLBT Nightlife News) and Windy City Times (a Chicago Gay, Lesbian
News and Feature Publication) cannot accept responsibility for
any advertising claims or promotions.






About WCMG      Contact Us      Online Front  Page      Windy City  Times      Nightspots
Identity      BLACKlines      En La Vida      Archives      Advanced Search     
Windy City Queercast      Queercast Archives     
Press  Releases      Join WCMG  Email List      Email Blast      Blogs     
Upcoming Events      Todays Events      Ongoing Events      Bar Guide      Community Groups      In Memoriam     
Privacy Policy     

Windy City Media Group publishes Windy City Times,
The Bi-Weekly Voice of the Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual and Trans Community.
5315 N. Clark St. #192, Chicago, IL 60640-2113 • PH (773) 871-7610 • FAX (773) 871-7609.