Windy City Media Group Frontpage News

THE VOICE OF CHICAGO'S GAY, LESBIAN, BI, TRANS AND QUEER COMMUNITY SINCE 1985

home search facebook twitter join
Gay News Sponsor Windy City Times 2022-06-08
DOWNLOAD ISSUE
Donate

Sponsor
Sponsor

  IDENTITY

BLACKLINES: Does Age Matter?
by Vicky Nabors
2004-05-01

This article shared 4243 times since Sat May 1, 2004
facebook twitter google +1 reddit email


Most intimate relationships are challenging because people are complex individuals, especially Black lesbians. How do these relational challenges differ when there's an age-gap of 10-plus-years between lovers? Old butch/stud, young femme—Old femme, young butch/stud; Age shouldn't matter—or should it?

Currently, and by definition, we have four generations interacting, socializing, and creating Black lesbian culture today: Post-War (59 and up), baby-boomers (40 thru 58), Generation-X (26 thru 39), and the Millennium Generation (25 and under). This means that there's a greater chance that you'll be attracted to a sistah from a different generation at some point (especially since Black folks don't show their age). Initially, all will be harmonious, that is until a few weeks into the dating/mating game when age differences arise. If they're really into each other, they'll discuss their differences, and face the challenges that are before them!

The basic differences in these age-gap relationships is the level of life experiences, lessons, and wisdom that each has acquired. Many age-gap couples that I interviewed shared their struggles, like: music differences (Earth Wind & Fire or Jay Z), social outings (go out on weekends or stay at home and play cards), parenting strategies (whip-their-butts or put them on time out), attire (old school dress up or trendy hip-hop gear), sex (too much or not enough); the list goes on.

The biggest challenge for me has always been food; the younger sistahs that I've dated were all into fast food and sit-down restaurants up to four times a week, I've always enjoyed home cooking—it tastes better. Plus, I'm fast food challenged; it makes my belly grow.

A femme, who's 25 years older than her stud lover, summed up her challenges this way, 'I just have to be patient with her and give a bit more than I normally would because I love her. I also have to let her go out when she gets antsy, because I'd have to choke her if I forced her to stay home.' On the other side, a stud (13 years younger than her lover) says, 'I had to acknowledge to myself that she's been there, seen it, and done it, and I'm just beginning. It wasn't easy, but I had to give her credit for having wisdom to advise and help me, I lowered my cocky pride.'

And from an older stud, 'Most femmes, my age, act too old for me which is probably the reason I'm attracted to younger femmes.'

All seemed to be quite comfortable in their relationships, and had conformed to each other's rhythm. The extra challenges of dating out of their generation just seem to sweeten each relationship. It's not robbing the cradle or having a sugar mamma or daddy in lesbian culture, it's wimyn-loving-wimyn. Communication, compromise, and a strong desire to be together are key to any successful relationship. If your personality fits with that of your older or younger lover, age shouldn't matter —only if you let it ... . Peace.

Vickyism@aol.com


This article shared 4243 times since Sat May 1, 2004
facebook twitter google +1 reddit email

  ARTICLES YOU MIGHT LIKE

Gay News

WORLD Chile's marriage law, Tokyo's move, Iran arrest, Mr. Gay World resigns 2021-12-19
- Chilean President Sebastian Pinera signed a historic bill legalizing same-sex marriage into law, days after the measure was approved by Congress, Al-Jazeera reported. The law "puts all love relationships between two people on an equal footing," ...


Gay News

Pope Francis documentary 'Francesco' to debut March 26 2021-03-16
- Pope Francis—in the news lately because of the Catholic Church's stance that it cannot bless same-sex unions, adding that it is "not licit" to bless relationships that involve sexual activity outside of marriage—is the subject of ...


Gay News

Vatican won't bless same-sex unions 2021-03-15
- The Catholic Church said it cannot bless same-sex unions, adding that it is "not licit" to bless relationships that involve sexual activity outside of marriage, according to an NBC News item. The Congregation for the Doctrine ...


Gay News

WORLD: Bhutan's pro-gay move, LGBTQ+ refugees, official comes out 2020-12-14
- A joint sitting of both houses of Bhutan's parliament approved a bill to legalize gay sex, making the tiny Himalayan kingdom the latest Asian nation to take steps toward easing restrictions on same-sex relationships, Reuters reported. ...


Gay News

MOVIES 'Cicada' flies into virtual film festivals this fall 2020-09-25
- Set in New York City, a queer-centered movie called Cicada is now hitting virtual film festivals and explores complicated relationships with a backdrop of childhood trauma. Ben and Sam meet at a bookstore and a journey ...


Gay News

NUNN ON ONE MUSIC Rufus Wainwright on new album, Pride, future 2020-07-08
- Out and proud performer Rufus Wainwright has always been and continues to be the thinking man's musician. His songs run deep with sometimes heavy lyrics covering topics such as family relationships, politics and religion. For those ...


Gay News

NUNN ON ONE MUSIC Out singer Tom Goss talks newest work, bears, 'Mean Girls' 2020-02-05
- Out singer Tom Goss released his newest album, Territories, in 2019. With the record, he created videos for several singles that spotlight relationships. The LA-based singer-songwriter is known for tackling LGBT issues with his studio albums ...


Gay News

Center for Law and Social Work gives LGBTQ families equal footing 2019-11-13
- According to the Equality Illinois publication Growing Your Family: A Guide for Prospective LGBT Adoptive Parents, there are more than "34,000 same-sex couples in long-term relationships living across the state, and 21 percent of these couples ...


Gay News

Moulin Rouge, A Night with Janis Joplin among Gene Siskel Film Center events 2019-10-29
- OCTOBER SERIES: Screening/Lecture Series: Viewing Positions (through December 10): This series uses a wide variety of films to demonstrate the different relationships that films establish with the viewer, and ...


Gay News

Afterglow opening at Pride Arts Center March 27 2019-02-09
- Chicago, IL - Casting for the Chicago Premiere of AFTERGLOW, an off-Broadway hit from 2017 exploring the emotional, intellectual, and physical connections between three men and the broader implications within their relationships, has been announced by ...


Gay News

Ripe. Letters, by Alan Semrow, seeks to redefine relationships 2018-11-28
- People live in a world of relationships. When one hears "relationship," that person may think boyfriend, spouse or girlfriend. Alan Semrow's latest book seeks to expand one's understanding of what a relationship actually is. Ripe: Letters ...


Gay News

Planned Parenthood Videos Help Parents, Kids Talk About Bodies, Gender, Identities 2018-10-17
- New York, NY — Planned Parenthood Federation of America has launched the first set of videos in a new series for parents and caregivers on how to talk about topics related to bodies, sex, and relationships ...


Gay News

Kenyan director of consumer protection seems to agree with anti-gay laws 2018-07-30
From a Allied Progress press release - WASHINGTON, D.C. — Last week, Kenyan news outlet Mwakilishi.com reported that Consumer Financial Protection Bureau (CFPB) "Acting Director" Mick Mulvaney appeared to agree with bans on LGBTQ+ intimacy and relationships ...


Gay News

MOVIES Director, writer talk star-studded 'Book Club' 2018-05-15
Special to the online edition of Windy City Times - Cashing in on the book club craze, four seasoned stars have come together to make a movie about relationships and starting anew. Diane Keaton plays Diane who is recently divorced after 40 years of marriage; Jane ...


Gay News

Singer/actress Janelle Monae comes out as queer 2018-04-26
- Singer/actress Janelle Monae has come out as queer. "Being a queer black woman in America, someone who has been in relationships with both men and women—I consider myself to be a free-ass motherfucker," she told Rolling ...


 



Copyright © 2022 Windy City Media Group. All rights reserved.
Reprint by permission only. PDFs for back issues are downloadable from
our online archives. Single copies of back issues in print form are
available for $4 per issue, older than one month for $6 if available,
by check to the mailing address listed below.

Return postage must accompany all manuscripts, drawings, and
photographs submitted if they are to be returned, and no
responsibility may be assumed for unsolicited materials.
All rights to letters, art and photos sent to Nightspots
(Chicago GLBT Nightlife News) and Windy City Times (a Chicago
Gay and Lesbian News and Feature Publication) will be treated
as unconditionally assigned for publication purposes and as such,
subject to editing and comment. The opinions expressed by the
columnists, cartoonists, letter writers, and commentators are
their own and do not necessarily reflect the position of Nightspots
(Chicago GLBT Nightlife News) and Windy City Times (a Chicago Gay,
Lesbian, Bisexual and Transegender News and Feature Publication).

The appearance of a name, image or photo of a person or group in
Nightspots (Chicago GLBT Nightlife News) and Windy City Times
(a Chicago Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual and Transgender News and Feature
Publication) does not indicate the sexual orientation of such
individuals or groups. While we encourage readers to support the
advertisers who make this newspaper possible, Nightspots (Chicago
GLBT Nightlife News) and Windy City Times (a Chicago Gay, Lesbian
News and Feature Publication) cannot accept responsibility for
any advertising claims or promotions.

 
 

TRENDINGBREAKINGPHOTOS







Sponsor
Sponsor


 



Donate


About WCMG      Contact Us      Online Front  Page      Windy City  Times      Nightspots
Identity      BLACKlines      En La Vida      Archives      Advanced Search     
Windy City Queercast      Queercast Archives     
Press  Releases      Join WCMG  Email List      Email Blast      Blogs     
Upcoming Events      Todays Events      Ongoing Events      Bar Guide      Community Groups      In Memoriam     
Privacy Policy     

Windy City Media Group publishes Windy City Times,
The Bi-Weekly Voice of the Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual and Trans Community.
5315 N. Clark St. #192, Chicago, IL 60640-2113 • PH (773) 871-7610 • FAX (773) 871-7609.