We can't help it, that's who we were when we met—
secretly jesus. That's what we decided after
our first miracle: landing the house
on the wicked witch of the east.
Everyone thinks that's a normal part of the story,
but every time the twister picks up Dorothy's little house
and plunks it down on the wicked old witch,
it's a miracle. Our miracle.
One of our repeating ones.
We put it in place and it happens
whether we're there or not.
Ding dong.
1970: Happiness finds me performing baptisms
at the creek. Neighborhood dolls dunked and saved,
Necco wafers and dixie cups of cherry Kool-Aid
passed out to those who had already seen the light.
Mine. And when the life-sized manger appeared
in front of our church in 1972, it was nothing
short of a miracle. My hay-day imminent.
Mother Mary come to me.
I am secretly jesus.
•
Melanie & I were secretly jesus when we sat on the green box in the back yard that
buzzed with electricity, it was our power source, our heaven, our higher ground.
Julie & I were secretly jesus when we got high with Pastor Knudson at bible camp,
fantasizing about his beard and talking in our sleep about the number 33.
Sherri & I were secretly jesus when we battled Mary Worth's bloody face in our
bathroom mirror turned the lights on said be gone you evil thing and she was.
Niki & I we were secretly jesus when we left our first porno movie nauseous, our
virgin selves vowing never to have sex ever then breaking that vow but not for years.
•
That's my story, here's hers: She was a brown-haired baby
rising from the womb in the nick of time to rescue rain-drenched
worms ( a la noah ) from squishy sidewalk graves.
As if that weren't enough, she took hundreds of scalding baths
to prepare her cool innocent skin for the boiling oil of sainthood
because even though she was secretly jesus, she wanted a back up plan.
And sometimes when she's secretly jesus she secretly becomes
mary Magdalene, and that's when even I bow to her because
at that moment she is the holiest of secret saviors
and I wouldn't be secretly jesus if I didn't know that.
•
Here's our list of sacred things:
carob, clits, kindling, salmon, wind, risotto
Here's our secretly jesus wardrobe:
sea-green polar fleece robes with leggings and no underwear, orange scarves, new
tattoos, freshly dyed Joan-of-Arc-red hair, bi-weekly pedicures by secretly jesus
wanna-be's for barefoot power walks across the dunes
Here's our secretly jesus theme song:
We thought love was only true in fairy tales.
Then for someone else but not for us.
Love was out to get us ( do do do do ) .
That's the way it seemed ( do do do do ) .
Disappointment haunted all our dreams.
Then we saw our face. Now we are believers!
Not a trace of doubt in our minds.
We're in love oooooooooooooh
We're secretly jesus, you could believe us
if you tried.
•
And you and I my love, we are secretly jesus every time we kiss and tell forgiveness
to fuck off. Because we have better things to do with our miraculous natures. We have
houses to land, prairies to plow. Goddesses to grow.
Regarding 'Secretly Jesus' poet cin salach says, 'It's a relief for it not to be a secret anymore. Besides there's so many of us out there. It's like gaydar. We can spot each other across a crowded room.'