Windy City Media Group Frontpage News


home search facebook twitter join
Gay News Sponsor Windy City Times 2021-12-08



pretzel logic
by David J. Magdziarz

This article shared 1951 times since Wed Feb 20, 2008
facebook twitter google +1 reddit email

While I was shoveling snow for about the seven millionth time this winter, I was wondering what I should write about for my next column. Then all of a sudden it hit me like an ice-covered snowball: a Pretzel Logic look at things related to the cold and icy ( ex-boyfriends not included ) .

Snow Job – Part One

Contrary to popular belief, there are not 400 Eskimo words for snow.

Uric Acid Is Not An Official Snow Cone Flavor

Does that old phrase 'never eat yellow snow' apply to guys who wear a yellow hankie in their back right pockets?

Eskimo Pee

Is there an Eskimo word for 'yellow snow'?

Snow Job – Part Two

A list of the '100 Eskimo Words for Snow' can be found on the Internet, but it was created as a joke. This is too bad because two entries in that list would have answered the question posed in the previous item: tliyel - snow that has been marked by wolves; and tliyelin- snow that has been marked by Eskimos.

Are The Inuit Into It?

Many sources on the Internet state that the word Inuit should be used to describe all the Native peoples living in the arctic regions of Alaska, Canada, Siberia and Greenland. However, the following quote from a web site sums up what seems to be the real story: 'The terms 'Eskimo' and 'Inuit' are frequently used interchangeably, however the term 'Inuit' does not properly include the Alutiiq, Inupiaq, Sug'piak, and Yup'ik Eskimo populations of Alaska, or the Yupik population of Eastern Russia. 'Inuit' refers to Arctic Native populations in Canada. Most Inuit do not call themselves 'Eskimo,' and many find the latter term highly offensive. The speakers of the Yupik languages don't usually share this view, and may self-identify as 'Eskimo.''

An Eskimo By Any Other Name

And to prove that for every action there is an equal and opposite reaction, here's another quote from another web site: 'Yup'ik speakers prefer to be called 'Yup'iks''... and — in contrast to Inuit in Canada — don't mind the word 'Eskimo,' but they do not like to be called 'Inuit.''


Inuit is a plural noun. The singular form is Inuk.

Snow Trivia

The shape of a snowflake is determined by several factors, including humidity, wind currents and temperature. In general, here are the types of snowflakes you are likely to find based on the temperature: 32-25° F, thin hexagonal plates; 25-21° F, needles; 21-14° F, hollow columns; 14-10° F, sector plates ( hexagons with indentations ) ; 10-3° F, dendrites ( lacy hexagonal shapes ) .

It's A Pity This Isn't True Of The Olson Twins, Too

Theoretically, it is possible for two snowflakes to look alike, but in reality it's not likely you'd ever actually see them.

George W. Bush Should Sink Like Ten Tons Of Lead

Ice floats because it is about 9% less dense than liquid water.

Size Matters

In 1887, Montana experienced the largest snowflakes ever recorded, averaging about fifteen inches in diameter.

Mixin' It Up

I simply HATE the freaking term 'wintry mix,' which seems like some stupid, bland, generic, meteorologically PC term used by chicken-shit weather forecasters too afraid to commit to predicting sleet or freezing rain. It also sounds like the name of some frosted-haired drag queen.

Geographically Challenged, But Cute

Country music cutie Brad Paisley has a Christmas CD which includes a song he wrote called 'Penguin, James Penguin.' The song is about a penguin who is 'Santa's secret spy,' even though penguins live in the Antarctic, while Santa's home at the North Pole is at the other end of the world in the Arctic.

Similar To Siegfried And Roy

Back in February of 2004 the news media reported on two 'gay' penguins, Silo and Roy, who were 'completely devoted to each other.' The two male penguins would entwine their necks, have sex with each other and show no interest in female penguins. They also tried to hatch a rock as if it were an egg, and when given a fertilized egg to hatch they did so, and fed the female chick food from their beaks until she was old enough to feed herself.

OK, So Maybe Not EXACTLY Like Siegfried & Roy

In 2006 it was reported that the two male penguins broke up, and one of them, Silo, partnered with a female penguin. Maybe they should have named the penguins Jack and Ennis.

If you're a drag queen named Wintry Mixx, you can e-mail me at

This article shared 1951 times since Wed Feb 20, 2008
facebook twitter google +1 reddit email


Gay News

BOOKS Author, activist Roy Wesley on his new book about his father
Gay Chicago author, activist and Fermalogic, Inc. COO Roy Wesley has written a new book about his father—Invisible Vision: The hidden story of Dr. Newton K. Wesley, American contact-lens pioneer. Windy City Times: What made you ...

Gay News

Study: 30% of young LGBQ people have attempted suicide in their lifetimes
--From a press release - A new study by the Williams Institute at UCLA School of Law finds younger LGBQ adults experience greater psychological distress and suicidal behavior than older LGBQ people. Researchers examined a representative sample of LGBQ people in ...

Gay News

Nearly half of all LBQ women have been physically or sexually assaulted
--From a press release - New study examines the social, economic, physical, and psychological well-being of cisgender and transgender LBQ women and girls A new study by the Williams Institute at UCLA School of Law finds about 5% of cisgender and ...

Gay News

WORLD Court rulings, trans kids' books, activist dies, Naomi Campbell
A Chinese court upheld a ruling that a textbook description of homosexuality as "a psychological disorder" was not a factual error but merely an "academic view," according to the South China Morning Post. The Chinese LGBT ...

Gay News

APA adopts resolution opposing efforts to change people's gender identity
--From a press release - WASHINGTON — The American Psychological Association has adopted a resolution opposing efforts to change people's gender identity, citing scientific research showing that such actions may be harmful. The resolution, adopted ...

Gay News

APA Updates Resolutions Related to LGBTQ Issues
WASHINGTON — The American Psychological Association has revised three key policies related to LGBTQ issues to take into account the most recent research and changes in law, such as the legalization of same-sex marriage. APA's governing ...

Gay News

LGBT neuropsychologist mom pens book about life with very young kids
Dr. Bethany Cook is a 42-year-old licensed clinical psychologist (and member of the LGBT community) with a specialty in neuropsychological assessment. She's also a music therapist, a trainer of therapy dogs and is an "ex-communicated Mormon ...

Gay News

Hell in a Handbag to present The Drag Seed world premiere July 5
CHICAGO (June 19, 2019) — Hell in a Handbag Productions continues its 2019 season with the world premiere of THE DRAG SEED, an unauthorized parody of the 1956 psychological horror-thriller film The Bad Seed, inspired by ...

Gay News

'Drag Seed' cast announced
Hell in a Handbag Productionshas announced casting for its world premiere of The Drag Seed—an unauthorized parody of the 1956 psychological horror-thriller film The Bad Seed, inspired by our changing times, written by Artistic Director David ...

Gay News

SUMMER DANCE FEATURE Ballet to boogie: Summer dance in Chicago
By Johnny Nevin, Kristi Licera and Jonathan Abarbanel - Over the last 35 years, Chicago has developed into one helluva dance town, and things don't slow down in the summer as some dance events move outdoors, just as theater performances do. The chronological listings below ...

Gay News

Critics' Picks
On Clover Road, American Blues Theater at Stage 773, through March 16. The unplanned Steven Dietz festival continues with this twisted desert-cult psychological thriller featuring Philip E. Johnson in one of his rare creepy-villain roles (Shakespeare ...

Gay News

Archbishop's comment explains why Church is in so much trouble
MOUNT RAINIER, Maryland—Archbishop Charles Chaput's statement about LGBT Catholics at the synod on youth yesterday is a perfect example of how some church leaders have been so blinded by ideological homophobia and transphobia that they cannot ...

Gay News

Local psychologist hopes to be first gay APA president
Recently, Dr. Armand Cerbone was nominated as one of the five finalists on the ballot to become president of the American Psychological Association (APA). If elected this fall, he will become the first out gay president ...

Gay News

Critics' Picks
Suddenly Last Summer, Raven Theatre, through June 17. Well-acted, well-directed, well-designed production of Tennessee Williams' psychological thriller pitting rich Mrs. Venable against her niece—and who knows what Sebastian did last ...

Gay News

BOOKS Gore's new tale a bewitching spin on fiction
Those who are unfamiliar with the writer Ariel Gore might think it defies all logic that she launched a stellar career from a self-published zine. Those same people might also be skeptical that someone who initially ...


Copyright © 2022 Windy City Media Group. All rights reserved.
Reprint by permission only. PDFs for back issues are downloadable from
our online archives. Single copies of back issues in print form are
available for $4 per issue, older than one month for $6 if available,
by check to the mailing address listed below.

Return postage must accompany all manuscripts, drawings, and
photographs submitted if they are to be returned, and no
responsibility may be assumed for unsolicited materials.
All rights to letters, art and photos sent to Nightspots
(Chicago GLBT Nightlife News) and Windy City Times (a Chicago
Gay and Lesbian News and Feature Publication) will be treated
as unconditionally assigned for publication purposes and as such,
subject to editing and comment. The opinions expressed by the
columnists, cartoonists, letter writers, and commentators are
their own and do not necessarily reflect the position of Nightspots
(Chicago GLBT Nightlife News) and Windy City Times (a Chicago Gay,
Lesbian, Bisexual and Transegender News and Feature Publication).

The appearance of a name, image or photo of a person or group in
Nightspots (Chicago GLBT Nightlife News) and Windy City Times
(a Chicago Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual and Transgender News and Feature
Publication) does not indicate the sexual orientation of such
individuals or groups. While we encourage readers to support the
advertisers who make this newspaper possible, Nightspots (Chicago
GLBT Nightlife News) and Windy City Times (a Chicago Gay, Lesbian
News and Feature Publication) cannot accept responsibility for
any advertising claims or promotions.






About WCMG      Contact Us      Online Front  Page      Windy City  Times      Nightspots      OUT! Guide     
Identity      BLACKlines      En La Vida      Archives      Advanced Search     
Windy City Queercast      Queercast Archives     
Press  Releases      Join WCMG  Email List      Email Blast      Blogs     
Upcoming Events      Todays Events      Ongoing Events      Bar Guide      Community Groups      In Memoriam      Outguide Categories      Outguide Advertisers      Search Outguide      Travel      Dining Out      Privacy Policy     

Windy City Media Group publishes Windy City Times,
The Bi-Weekly Voice of the Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual and Trans Community.
5315 N. Clark St. #192, Chicago, IL 60640-2113 • PH (773) 871-7610 • FAX (773) 871-7609.