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  NIGHTSPOTS

pretzel logic
by David J. Magdziarz
2007-06-06

This article shared 2745 times since Wed Jun 6, 2007
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or no particular reason except that it's just how it turned out, here's a Pretzel Logic look at summer travel as well as some items about food & drink.

Pretzel Logic Gay Summer Travel Advisory - Boner Alert

You'll find 'Big Bone Lick State Park' in Union, Kentucky, which is famous for all the large, rock hard bones with which it is endowed. ( They're fossilized mastodon and other such bones, but still, a bone's a bone. )

Pretzel Logic Gay Summer Travel Advisory - For The Ladies

Big Bone Lick is located at 3380 Beaver Road.

I Wonder How Many Lesbians Leave There Disappointed That It Really Is Just A French Restaurant

Speaking of things for the ladies, there is a restaurant in Arlington Heights called Le Titi de Paris.

Spanish Rice Cooking On Mexican Time

Boxes of La Preferida Spanish Rice contain rather prominent text on the front stating 'Ready in 10 minutes!' However, the cooking directions call for adding the contents to boiling water, bringing the water back to boil, and then they say: 'Reduce heat to medium, cover and simmer for 3 minutes. Remove from heat and allow to stand, covered, for 8 minutes.' I guess you then set your time machine to send you back one minute in the past, because last time I checked 3 plus 8 equaled 11, not 10.

Pretzel Logic Gay Summer Travel Advisory - Take A Lick On The Wild Side

Every two weeks starting June 2, Big Bone Lick is running a series of instructional courses that all start off with the name 'Lick the Wild.'

Half Baked?

There's an article on the Web site of Slate ( a daily online magazine at slate.com ) entitled 'What Is Queer Food?,' in which the author states that Baked Alaska 'is the archetypal queer food' because the concoction of sponge cake, ice cream, and whipped egg whites that is baked at 500 degrees 'breezily mocks the threat of damnation, goes to hell and back, and lives to tell the story. Baked Alaska's very identity, in fact, depends on having suffered an accusation of weakness, on surviving a trial by fire. It even gets a tan.'

Pretzel Logic Gay Summer Travel Advisory - Hand Job

The 22nd Annual Salt Festival at Big Bone Lick State Park in October will feature 'numerous hands-on demonstrations and activities... '

It Might Be More Accurate To Call It A 'Straight Acting And Appearing' Martini

About.com has a story entitled 'Gay Brunch Cocktail and Mixed Drink Recipes.' Here is the recipe for what is called the 'smooth gay martini': 'Shake gin or vodka, vermouth and ice in cocktail shaker. Be sure not to shake too hard or too long as to avoid excess water from melting ice. Strain into martini glass. Garnish with lime peel, lemon, or olive.' OK, and this would be a specifically 'gay' martini because... ?

It Must Be Jelly Because Jam Don't Shake Like That

Given all the above Big Bone Licking, is it any wonder that Kentucky's abbreviation is 'KY'?

Pretzel Logic Gay Summer Travel Advisory - Viva Mexico

Start of a recent newspaper story: 'More than 18,000 people stripped down and bared it all in Mexico City's vast main square Sunday for American photographer Spencer Tunick's biggest nude shot yet... Most volunteers were young men.'

Pretzel Logic Gay Summer Travel Advisory - Viva La Libertad Del Discurso

More from the same story: 'Public nudity isn't a novelty in Mexico City, where protestors often march wearing only underwear or nothing at all.'

Chinga Este Restaurante Mexicano

A while back a friend and I were at Arturo's Tacos at Western and Armitage when the waitress said to a customer/ friend of hers 'Hay jueros de maricón aquí', which basically translates to 'We have white-boy queers here.' I had just made a resolution to be less tense, and I knew that if I said anything to esa pinchy puta I'd blow up in about three nanoseconds, so I just left. Funny that I decided to mention it here instead. Maldíganos los jueros de maricón que hablan un poco español.

Although I guess She Was Correct

The friend I was with was, in fact, gay. I write for Nightspots. And right before she said what she did I was thinking that the guy she was speaking with was really hot.

If you've had your big bone licked at Big Bone Lick, write to me at PretzelLogicDave@aol.com and tell me all about it. If you are with Arturo's Tacos, you can lick my big bone, y mi culo también.


This article shared 2745 times since Wed Jun 6, 2007
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