I have been a staunch supporter of Barack Obama for quite some time and, to underscore this, I have made a habit of appealing to dozens of people, on an almost daily basis, to write their congressmen to support whatever the urgent matter of the day is with regard to Obama's presidency and his agenda. As you might have guessed, from the news this past week, my fervor for Mr. Obama – like yours – has suffered considerably.
The word out of Washington these last few days has not been good – even worse than the deafening silence regarding anything related to the campaign promises made to the LGBT communities since Obama was elected. I will be the first one to argue that he has had his hands full – which I have done. I told everyone that attending to "our issues" would have to be on the back-burner until such time as he could come out from under everything that got dumped on him. I even reminded folks about what happened to Bill Clinton when, before he was ready, the whole gays-in-the-military fiasco got plastered across the front page of every newspaper in America … proving that jumping on anything controversial – especially anything with the word 'gay' in it – prematurely, could destroy a fragile presidency in its earliest days. Like many – if not most – or all – LGBT people – I have been patient. We gay people are really good at that because we have had a lot of practice.
Everything was more or less OK – until the administration's ringing endorsement of DOMA. It all ended with that. Or, should I say, that's when it all started. Then, a few days later, he made a grand announcement about extending benefits to DPs of gay fed employees... crumbs. It must have been hard for him to have to stop short of saying that the reason why he could not extend health-care benefits as well was because of ... DOMA... the statute that he had just seen fit to pretty much condemn us to endure in perpetuity. Yes, that must have been awkward for him. Like many of us I cannot help but think the stampede of major donors away from the DNC fundraiser/fete Biden was hosting had something to do with the sudden rush of action from the White House. I guess we now know how to get his attention.
For those of you, who are scooped up in the LGBT acronym, I realize I am preaching to the choir. To those of you who are not part of the alphabet soup that represents "gay people" I hope maybe you can understand our frustration. All you need to do is imagine your own marriages dissolved, have your relationships equated with incest, see your own veterans treated like garbage, have the inalienability of your civil rights be subject to an endless series of referendums, initiatives, propositions – all while dutifully paying your taxes – and you can probably get where I am coming from. Add to that a lifetime of living in fear of one thing or another related to your "secret" and you may understand why there is a certain brittleness to our feelings. It all adds up.
I thought the election of Barack Obama was going to change things. Now I know it can't - or won't. Not now. Probably not ever. He will hold on getting around to "US" until he has fallen so far off his pedestal he will no longer have the political capital needed to truly, effectively, fight for our equality. Yes. We've been down this road before.
This "situation" is tearing through the LGBT communities like kerosene on a wild fire driven by the Santa Ana Winds. From California to NYC there is outrage unlike anything I have ever heard before – and I lived through Reagan. ( Needless to say, I have heard and seen a lot of outrage. ) It has ripped a hole in the gossamer veil that protects the Obama aura. And as the political winds blow the hole will only get bigger and bigger. It's a shame. It didn't have to be this way. He brought it on himself. How could somebody so smart be so fucking STUPID?
What does one do under such circumstances? I still support a public option to insure the 50,000,000 people without health insurance. I still believe in renewable energy. Plug-In Hybrids, Ecology and Recycling... the whole bit. I'm still there. The difference is I just don't care so passionately about it all anymore – because my passion for everything has been poisoned by his betrayal. Yet, I am not retreating. I will get my game on again – eventually – though something will be profoundly different.
I certainly won't organize against him – in fact I wish him well. If he succeeds we will all benefit – even the gay people whom he has miscalculated to disastrous effect. But I will not fork over any more of my money to a man who managed to raise 3/4 of a BILLION dollars to be elected to the most powerful office in the world only to find out that he is positively neutered when it comes to us.
I just finished writing every liberal group whose email distribution list I am on – including the DNC, Move-ON and Obama's own political arm: Democracy For America. I told them all the same thing: Until such time as Barack Obama makes good on the promises he made to the LGBT communities - repeal DOMA, overturn DADT, pass ENDA and the Matthew Shepard Hate Crimes Bill - I will not give a single dime to him, or any agency acting on his behalf, that is intended to help him achieve anything else on his agenda.
I concluded my little diatribes to all those groups by asking to be removed from all of their mailing lists – which should cut down on my email traffic by 50% – another good thing. I am finally too old to believe in people who take my money, waste my time and squander my faith. I need to see RESULTS. ( Or at least real, serious effort. ) I don't need to read that my president – in whom I have invested every hope – is defending the very policy he PROMISED he would work to repeal. I mean, I may be color-blind but I am not stupid.
Yes... this has been one depressing, bitch of a week. Made all the worse because one of the few good things in this world – our belief in Obama – has been ripped away from us. I advise you to do whatever it takes to make you feel like you have some control over this uncontrollable, helplessly, hopelessly devastating situation. I have chosen to redefine my relationship to Barack Obama on my terms – not his. It may not be much – but it's a start.
