I am an American. I am a citizen of the United States. I'm not asking to be treated with special rights that are designed specifically for me. I don't want to be treated differently, that's happened enough in my life, and still happens on a daily basis. Sometimes it's helpful, sometimes it's painful. There's no question I have an extra large life ... super sized with a side of fries, quite frankly. I am also in love, and have had a love affair with the finest person on the planet that's been going on since 1979. That makes me 23 years old in case you're counting.
There's a couple down the street from where Chrisanne and I live whose relationship is volatile and frightening. I know this only because I've heard them screaming and breaking things. She yells 'Please don't!' and he screams: 'You never loved me!' and eventually she gets hit by something. President Bush recently remarked on television that 'Marriage is a sacred institution, and is the foundation of this country.' He said that on the news preempting Oprah on Tuesday morning. If this is the truth, and statistics show that over 50% of American unions end in divorce, and it's obvious in my own backyard a small percentage of them are staying together and beating the heck out of each other, what exactly does that say about the foundation of this country?
There are many, many beautiful, loving, exciting, and fantastic marriages. I've seen them. I'm not making a blanket statement about all marriages, I don't know about all marriages. I know my Mother divorced my Father because he slept with other women, and because he hit her. I know a dear friend of mine who recently got divorced and left her husband because as she said to me: 'I never loved him in the first place. I got married because that's what you did.' They have children and were together for almost 10 years. The American Foundation is a scary place to stand right now.
Yet the dichotomy is, that all these people could choose whether or not they wanted to marry and be recognized by the United States of America. They were free to choose. Remember when Blacks couldn't legally marry whites because it would ruin the sanctity of marriage? Remember when women didn't have the right to vote because it would shake the foundation of American democracy? Remember when marriage was about sharing land and land only and had nothing to do with love? Remember when the word 'obey' was plastered in the marriage vow? Does anyone see a trend here? Now ... we all have the same rights, because we realized those things were not inclusive of all Americans. We realized we were being intolerant, and bigoted, and just plain unfair. We knew it then, why don't we know it now?
Time is running out, folks. Our backs are up against the wall. There's no more time for futzing around the house and griping in your mirror. Forget all the speeches you've made in the car. Be counted. I believe the only choice we have in this country right now, is to stand up for human rights yet again. Every minority that votes, and pays taxes, and loves freely, and is searching frantically to pay the rent, and struggles, and argues, and makes up, and gives to charity, and receives charity, and tries to act in good conscience as often as possible, must be heard. No more Mrs. Nice Guys people. Get up! Don't just come out of the closet, break the door down with a resounding thud and blow your noise makers like it's 1999. Don't whisper about being Latino and discrimination, stand on top of a roof and grab a bull horn. Don't talk to your girlfriends at lunch about how Mr. Bing Boo is making more money than you when you two perform the same job. Walk up to your boss and demand a raise. And by the way ... where IS Oprah anyway? Where are ALL the people who've had to fight and argue and stand their ground in order to become successful and treated equally? Where's Ellen? Where's Melissa? Where's Elton? Hello? Hello? Calling all the rich and famous!!! No more silence, America. No more grumbling to yourself and your family. Our President supports an amendment that will legalize unequal treatment of all Americans. If you remain silent, you will support unequal treatment as well.
This won't be the land of the free, it will simply be: The Land.
Oh Mr. President, this is about civil eights, and we will be victorious. History will not judge you kindly.
Chrisanne and I are married. We are in love and were married in front of 150 people, her parent and her brother, and God. We don't need a piece of paper to tell us who we are, we know who we are. But I'll be damned if we aren't treated by the State, with at least the same respect from the government as the people down the street from us. The last time we fought was when I bought 2% milk instead of skim, and she loaded the dishwasher improperly. We both have a touch of OCD. We have stuff we work on.
Oh, and by the way, our neighbors? Well, she's still getting hit, and he's still screaming that she doesn't love him. And yes, they are still legally married.
Billings-Blankenship is a long-time Chicago-based singer and performer.
