There are times when I feel like I just don't fit into the LGBT community. Perhaps it's because our media often suggests that only those who look and act a certain way have any real value. Maybe it's because I came out later in life, only to find a community that tends to place an enormous focus on youth and physical appearance. It could also be those who have deemed me unworthy of being acknowledged much less to be included in their circle of friends.
Whatever the reason, I have made several efforts over the past few years in the hopes of challenging those perceptions and finding a community in which I could genuinely take pride. One of my recent attempts was to join the Chicago Gay Men's Chorus. I'm a bit of an introvert by nature, but I often explore opportunities that are intentionally out of my comfort zone in order to force myself to grow and to broaden my perspectives. Prior to joining the chorus I had no singing, dancing or stage experience whatsoever, so I knew that it was going to be a rather significant challenge for me. What I wasn't anticipating were the lessons that I'd learn about myself and our community along the way.
When I joined the chorus, I was pleasantly surprised to find a wide diversity of ages, backgrounds, beliefs, abilities, appearances and personalities. While I have experienced various degrees of diversity in other settings within the LGBT community, it's never been on a large scale and in an arena in which everyone was working alongside each other toward a common goal that presented a positive image of our community to the rest of society. Having seen and painfully experienced the various cliques that clearly exist in many other settings, it's been very healing for me to be a part of something that seems to extend beyond that, at least at some level.
Much has been said about the symbolism of the rainbow with respect to the diversity that exists within our community, but we all too often put disproportionate focus on the most beautiful "colors" while ignoring some of the others. The Pride flag consists of multiple colors for a reason. It includes what we might consider our favorite color, but it's also comprised of some colors that we may even find undesirable. Yet they're all represented equally. And just like a rainbow, it's the diversity of our colors, not one specific color, which makes us beautiful.
The chorus is a lot like a rainbow because it's not primarily about a select few individuals. It's about how each one of us contributes to the whole. It's literally about harmony which means "to join together and form a connected whole." While the best-looking guys will almost always get the most attention, you don't have to look gorgeous in order to sound amazingly beautiful. As we all learned from Britain's Susan Boyle, looks can be deceiving. In that respect, the chorus paints a beautiful picture of how I wish some other parts of the LGBT community would be where everyone is valued for their contribution.
Many of us have been given the message that we're not young enough, attractive enough, or sometimes even "gay" enough to be included in some settings. I find that an ironic and sad message from a community that makes such a vehement point of being equally included in the broader society. We can put the HRC "equals" sign on our bumpers, but the reality is that we're not all treated equally within some of our very own circles.
We should genuinely celebrate and embrace our diversity rather than continuing to perpetuate the same old divisions. Next time you're tempted to deem someone as unworthy of your attention, imagine how a beautiful piece of music would sound if you excluded some of the notes or how a rainbow would look if it only consisted of one or two colors. It might still have some appeal, but something would clearly be missing.
While the chorus isn't exactly the land over the rainbow that Judy Garland heard of once in a lullaby, it has provided me with a vision of hope that even if I'm not a runway model, maybe there still is a place for someone like me in this community where I don't have to endlessly strive to be somebody that I'm not, and where I can be authentically accepted and valued just as I am. I can truly take Pride in a community like that.
Ron Robert is a freelance writer, board member of Reconciling Journey Ministries and proud member of the Chicago Gay Men's Chorus. He can be reached at ron@glbtchristian.org .