Its Sunday and we're sitting in our hotel room preparing for our flight back home.
My husband John and I traveled to San Francisco to be there on March 5 when the California Supreme court heard arguments both for and against Proposition 8.
The irony for me is that March 5 is our first wedding anniversary; having traveled to San Francisco in 2004 and becoming one of the 4,000 same-sex couples married after Mayor Gavin Newsom directed the county to begin issuing marriage licenses to same-sex couples. That day was one of the most amazing days in my life because I never thought I'd be able to do that in my lifetime—marry the man I love.
Later that same year, the California Supreme Court ruled that Newsom exceeded his authority and invalidated our and the other 4,000 same-sex marriages that were performed during the "Winter of Love." Needless to say, we were devastated about been divorced against our will after only being married five months.
Now we find ourselves in a similar situation, but with a twist.
Last year, the California Supreme Court ruled that same-sex couples could not be denied the right to marry and clerks all across the state began issuing marriage licenses to same-sex couples. Once again John and I made the nearly 2,000 mile journey and were married on June 27, 2008. We made it back in time to ride in Chicago's PRIDE Parade as a newlywed couple. We were thrilled to be married.
Then Prop 8 passed.
Last Nov. 5, same-sex couples were not able to legally marry in the state and the more than 18,000 same-sex marriages that were performed between June 16 and Nov. 4, including ours, were now in jeopardy which is why we made the trek this past week to be there when the fate of our marriage was being discussed in California's highest court.
We were able to witness the hearings live in the auditorium after making our way through a very vocal crowd outside, both pro and con, that was there to see that both points of view were heard loud and clear. The hearings lasted for over three hours and watching the proceedings was fascinating, but it became clear to me that Prop 8 would probably not be invalidated and same-sex couples would no longer be able to marry for the time being.
But there was hope for us amid the proceedings. While the justices seem poised to uphold Prop 8, it was also pretty clear that they seem highly unlikely to invalidate the thousands of marriages performed prior to Prop 8's passage. And while I'm thrilled by that prospect, it is also troubling me. How do I hold on to something I've fought so long for while my brothers and sisters have had that right stripped away?
Robert Castillo is a longtime LGBT activist and began advocating for marriage equality for same-sex couples in 1991 when he and husband John Pennycuff went to the Cook County Marriage License bureau to request a marriage license.