You know, we were just going to shut down for the night when we saw something ( on Facebook naturally—we're addicts—what can we say? ) One of our friends had posted a photo of Obama on his profile; it showed up on our home page. It was one of our gay white friends. And the picture was less than flattering. Here it is ( above ) :
For some reason this was the very first time something like this hurt our heart. Really. It hit home. We looked at this picture and tears began to well up in our eyes. It's been long hellish Saturday quite frankly folks. The car died, the unemployment check didn't come, we bitterly lost an online raffle for two dozen cupcakes—but we did recoup on a dozen thanks to Hank Hedland's sweetness—and we also spent the mornin' fightin' and emailing back 'n' forth with Vincent Jones ( who deep down inside we cherish dearly— he jus' made us mad is all—and we like to reimburse the pain. )
So yeah, we guess after all that our emotions were a tad tender. When we saw this photo we just thought without skipping a beat, 'We're sick of Gay Inc. pickin' on Obama. We're really sick of their shit.'
You see, we've been dealing with white leadership in this country high and low all of our lives. So have our parents. And our parents parents. And our parents parents parents. Speaking as persons who have emerged from an extremely oppressed group of people—a race of people who were not that long ago thought of as to be so subhuman that our own late grandmother as a teen girl was handed a bag of left over eaten on plate scrapings from a white child's birthday party by the child's mother. According to our NaNa, this woman thought she was being nice. Our grandmother cleaned houses to help support her family before she left home to start her own brood. They lived in the south. Simple country Black folks. Just tryin' to do an honest day's work to help put food on the table. But that wasn't enough. They had to endure the worst kinds of spiritual and psychological humiliation and assault on a person's dignity known to an American citizen.
Our grandmother walked off that job right after that white woman handed her that bag of birthday garbage to take home—left it on the kitchen counter—didn't say goodbye and didn't even get her day's pay. And her family needed that money. We can only share this story without shame because our grandfather after marrying our grandmother almost killed a white man in another incident later on. So notorious was our grandfather he's the sole reason our entire family lives in Los Angeles today. We only got a few lingering relations back in Texas. If our grandparents had of stayed in the south the white folks would've surely killed Poppa. He had a bounty on his head in the southern part of Texas. Still do. They had to get out. Snuck out of Wharton,Texas in the dead of night is the family lore. He was a mean ole yella' gray-eyed foul-mouthed SOB. We weren't particularly crazy about him either, truth be told.
We were about to say that the above story was a digression. And apologize for it. But no it isn't. It is our history. It is also our now. Our grandparents gave us those legacies to share with our own creations someday. Even if those creations merely mounted up being these legacies shared on a marriage equality blog. These experiences, handed down via the generations, are a part of who we are RIGHT NOW.
Being homosexual is a part of who we are, too.
But therein lies the rub—the "too." It's a duplicity that separates us many times from the point of views of many of our gay white brethren. And some of our impassioned Black ones as well. When we know that John F. Kennedy did not once utter a word about Black civil rights in his first two years of office; when we know that the majority of George Bush's eight horrific years in office the phrase "marriage equality" had barely an existence or meaning—let alone any visible protests for LGBT civil rights statewide or otherwise. When we know that the majority of Gay Incs in the state of California came out overwhelmingly in support of Hillary Clinton in the 2008 presidential primaries; only to turn around and throw their support behind Obama AFTER Clinton lost to him in the bid to become the democratic party candidate. But Gay Incs have been the first and ( only ones so far ) to scream how they supported him all along.
Black Americans are currently facing an unemployment rate of a staggering 16 percent. Even our college graduates can't find jobs—gay or straight. The unemployment gap between African Americans and others has widened to 7 percent according to CNN. Fifty percent of the homes foreclosed on are owned by African-Americans.
Black folks right now are catching pure hell. It's very easy even for some of us gay Blacks to look at a fat BMW-driving Gay Inc like he's a goddamned fool when he's sniveling about his now often touted "second-class citizenship" and we're thinkin' about the rent. And by no means are Blacks singled out and suffering alone in the economic woes of late. The whole country is. This includes victimized and unprotected LGBT children, families, workers and individuals. Everybody wants change sooner rather than later. It's something all of America can agree on.
The Gay Inc attacks on Obama have been almost as lengthy as their said support. As early as October of 2008, the Gay Incs started wailing and sniping in impatience in growing unison. We honestly and truthfully thought people were joking at first. Obama had yet to be sworn in; how could there be problems with the man? He hadn't the power to do anything yet. But that didn't stop them. And when Rick Warren presided over Obama's inauguration it was on 'n' crackin.' They've been on full-tilt boogie ever since.
And here's the truth of the matter: if Obama, God forbid, should die today or tomorrow he will go down in American history as being the most LGBT-friendly president this nation has ever seen. The Gay Incs know this. They won't admit it—but they know it. With less than a year to his credit, Obama—Christian Right death threats rolling in by the minute—has embraced the LGBT community more so than any president in this nation's history.
So why the hate?
We think it's because many in the LGBT community feels Obama owes them something—yesterday. We can't quite figure out why that is. Obama has yet to celebrate his first anniversary in office. Oh, it's right around the corner. But still, he hasn't seen it. We don't quite understand why a similar resentment and/or impatience wasn't bestowed on previous administrations. That, in truth, is really the nucleus of our curiosity. Is it because he's Black and they feel that well, he should easily be able to identify in a obligatory sense with the quest for civil rights?
When we ask that—the response is always a quick dismissive no. And yet the outrage exhibited by some of these individuals belies their words as to why their beyond comprehensible impatience in comparison to not so long ago worse political and social conditions. They weren't like that a mere two years ago. Not even close. Fairly docile and silent actually. But now, Obama is the cause of all of their misery and unhappiness. And you know what?
We say: BULLSHIT
It's precisely because he's Black that Gay Inc is so infuriated with Obama. Because you see this is an opportunity that they need to grasp now with gusto. Oh yes, ( We gon' tell it all now Aintie Ginnie ) . It's the only chance they have. Unless they get another Black president in a later administration. Under a white president, the accusations of unfairness and homophobia just wouldn't ring as loud. Who'd care? After all, it's expected. But under an African American president? Ohhhhh, he should've been rolling out the equality carpet right as he was being sworn in. My God, he's a descendent of friggin' slaves. And well, his own damned parents weren't even able to get married in some states. Surely this Black man knows he should move with the highest and quickest expediency in regards to the full civil rights of all his subjects and constituency.
And then there's reality. When we were children there were two portraits that hung in our grandparent's living room. They hung side by side. One was a portrait of Martin Luther King. The other was a portrait of John F. Kennedy. Our grandparents never told us that it took John F. Kennedy two years before he even discussed Black civil rights. No. We found that out later in high school. Matter of fact, our grandparents never said anything about either of them. We just knew these men were very special men. At least they were in NaNa's and Poppa's house. We never even remember asking who they were. Somehow we just knew.
We don't dare suggest or infer that anyone wait or not fight for their civil rights with everything they have and then some. Just be real about it. And be real about what you authentically need to put into that fight before you spread a smear campaign ( cause that's what it is ) on a man who we, regardless of attacks by certain parties, truly believe wants and intends to do the right thing. And has his own way of going about doing just that. Which means that it may not come into fruition in a matter of less than 12 months for children of the Bush years. It may take some more doing than that. We don't say let up—we say GET UP. Get off your whining finger-pointing asses and be accountable for your own freedom.
We may not always agree with the likes of Robin McGehee and Co.—well, actually, we rarely agree with her at all. And Lord knows it kills us to cheerlead—but we have to hand it to her—she puts her own ass on the line. Money—time—family relationships—she's a fighter. Not a punk—like the way a good portion of the Gay Incs have been showing up. And continue to show up. As if they're building a fan club from within and throughout. And they're not. Their player-hating is offensive, lazy and grosses us out. And we know we're not alone.
We may think our Facebook connect Sean Chapin up in SF can be a little fanatical at times—but he's the right stuff. He's not a hater. Not that one. Definitely all fighter. The cat just will not let up. Ultimately it's impressive. To hell with marriage equality, you want him to win. Same with the insanely optimistic Eric Ross, also of the Bay area. These people are for better or worse—inspiring. Not depressing.
This post is about channeling that energy people for the cause instead of for your victimhood. There's no winning in that. If the battle for civil rights is that important to you Gay Incs—if you're reading this—that's where your time and energy needs to be. No one's saying that you cannot or should not express your unhappiness with Obama. But can you do your own legwork first? And can you express with dignity and truth based in the reality of what you say you haven't received and very well deserve versus what you've quietly lived with throughout the majority—your "second-class" existence here in America?
That's all we got folks. Back to thinkin' about that rent—and, of course, that missing unemployment check.
Derrick Mathis is a freelance writer, blogger, community activist and founder of the Los Angeles neighborhood marriage equality and community activist group Restore Equality Now-West Adams/Los Angeles South ( RENWL ) .
