Through a series of mostly short vignettes, lesbian playwright Claudia Allen's latest play, Unspoken Prayers, tells the story of the impact that the murder of teenager Sara has on her immediate family. Reminiscent of the movie In The Bedroom, Unspoken Prayers has a very cinematic quality in that the scenes are very brief and the transitions are quick. As Sara's mother Billie, Taylor Miller ( known to many in her role as Nina Courtland on All My Children during the '80s and '90s ) , runs through the full range of emotions, and shows that there are no easy answers in situations such as this. I recently spoke to Ms. Miller about the play.
Gregg Shapiro: As a mother, what was it like to approach the subject matter of Unspoken Prayers, which deals with the impact that the murder of a teenage girl has on her family?
Taylor Miller: It was heart wrenching. And that's why when I first read the script that Dennis ( Zacek, Artistic Director of Victory Gardens ) had sent over, he said that he wanted to know if I related to it at all. I was in my family room reading this script, and my husband is looking at me going, 'What is wrong?,' and I am just sobbing. Because the whole premise of your child dying before you, of something happening to your child, is a parent's worst nightmare. ( In the play ) our daughter is 16 years old, and there is that whole process of starting to let go. My daughter is 14 now. She wants to start taking the 'L.' I'm so used to knowing where she is, who she's with, whose car she's in, and now, all of a sudden, she wants to be on the train. There's that time when ( gasps ) you don't breathe. 'How come she's not home yet?' I think every parent has experienced that. ( And ) your kid is always fine. There's been some kind of miscommunication. You found out that you hadn't asked a question you needed to ask, and they're always fine. Except in this case ( of the play ) , she wasn't.
GS: How do you prepare yourself, each night of a performance, to play Billie, which is such a difficult and emotionally draining role?
TM: I just ask that anything that stands in the way ( laughs ) of my being able to do this is taken away. I don't have a technique, Gregg. I wish I had something magic that I could tell you that I did. I just ask to be given into a place where I believe what I'm saying. It's as unsubstantiated as that ( laughs ) .
GS: The subject of the death penalty was also dealt with in a recent Chicago production of The Exonerated. When I interviewed Marlo Thomas, I asked her if she had met with any death-row inmates in preparation for the part she was playing. Did you, in your preparation, meet with any mothers who had lost children in a similar way?
TM: I thought about it. In fact, there are some friends of mine whose daughter was raped and murdered. I think Claudia ( Allen ) talked to them, too. I didn't feel like I needed to find out what anybody else felt like. I have my own feelings. It felt way too intellectual for me. There are certain types ( of actors ) . There are the research types. And there are the go-for-it types—wheee ( laughs ) . I'm more of the 'wheee' kind of person.
GS: Claudia Allen is a playwright who has become the pride of Chicago. What was it like for you to play one of her characters?
TM: I feel so fortunate, I can't even tell you. This happened only because the actress that was originally going to play the role couldn't come in. That's the only reason why it was up for grabs here in Chicago at all. Dennis called me up. I had the flu, and I said ( in a weakened voice ) 'I'm sick.' He called back the next day and I said, 'I am still sick. I have the chills.' Then he sent the script over. He didn't put any pressure on me at all. When I read it, Gregg, I'm telling you, I was sobbing. My heart was just broken. Then I went in and read for him with some of the other people who were cast. What I think I bring to it is that I am a mom. I have chosen to do that over other stuff, for now. This ( play ) is the first thing that has gotten me out of that … hiding.
GS: It's more like semi-retirement than 'hiding,' don't you think? Hiding implies something else altogether, as opposed to taking time off from acting.
TM: I've been asked to come back to New York and I just couldn't figure out how to do it, and do it well. I thought, 'God, two lives.' It's hard to live one life. I can't imagine trying to come home on a Friday plane and see my kid's play and be able to do it well. My kids have gotten to an age where it's easier to go off and do stuff. And, again, it was the script, I'm telling you, that brought me out.
GS: Would you like to work with Claudia again in the future?
TM: I think she's a really wonderful playwright. I would always be happy to work with her.
GS: With the current state of things, such as the war, do you think audiences will be able to sit through a play dealing with such a difficult topic?
TM: Oddly enough, this isn't a play about sadness. The initial thing is about sadness. It's a play about love. It's a play about a parent's love for their child, and it's a play about hope. Can I get through something like this? If this would have happened to me, would I be able to get through it? How do you go on when you love somebody that much? I don't think people normally spend a great deal of time on morose subjects, but I think it might be cathartic. When I was watching the news today, and I was watching the family of an airman whose helicopter had been shot down, I was crying. I thought, 'Oh, my God. That's there son.' It made it more personal for me, but not in a bad way. It made me more compassionate and empathetic. Part of the war thing is that you can't really touch it or feel it, but ( it allows for ) the opening of my heart and knowing what other people are going through.
GS: I noticed in your bio in the program, that you are active with the Juvenile Diabetes Foundation. Did you become involved with that charity because your character on All My Children, Nina Courtland, was a diabetic?
TM: Yes, because of the character, I was able to be useful to them. Also, in my family there is diabetes. It's one of those diseases where, if you take care of yourself, you can live with it. Education and proper maintenance are things that are really important. It's one of those things where I am amazed at how people deal with stuff on a daily basis and don't allow it to complicate their lives.
