THE VOICE OF CHICAGO'S GAY, LESBIAN, BI, TRANS AND QUEER COMMUNITY SINCE 1985

Gregg Shapiro: You mentioned when you performed at the showcase for This Is Who I Am, that you have recently moved back to Chicago. How are you enjoying living in Chicago?

Heather Headley: I love it so much. I really, really do. (Previously), when I was in Chicago, I was in school. I didn't take advantage of the city as much, because I was so scared of it. I had moved from my little country and I was kind of concerned of going to downtown Chicago. Now, I have this opportunity to take advantage of it and enjoy it, to some extent.

GS: Are you prepared for the unpredictability of a Chicago winter?

HH: God have mercy. I dealt with that at school. Now I claim, "I love Chicago so much. I love her." In three months I'll be, "Get me out of here," because I'm a Caribbean girl at heart. Hopefully it will be OK.

GS: Many people know your name and your voice from your theatrical work in musicals such as Aida and The Lion King. While you were selecting material for This Is Who I Am, did you keep those people in mind?

HH: Definitely so. I didn't want it to be a huge shock. Like, "Heather sang this way on Broadway and this is how the album is?" I knew that there was going to be certain people who would say, "Oh that's Heather. Let me get the album." The fun thing is the album's not far from what we were doing on Broadway. For instance, Gregg, if on Broadway I was doing ( singing like Ethel Merman ) , "There's no business like show business," and all of a sudden come out with a rap album, then I think people would be like, (screams) "Ahh!!"

GS: Exactly. You weren't doing Rogers and Hammerstein.

HH: No, I was not. I was doing Elton John. When I was doing the album, I thought, "Would that woman in the sixth row who came to see the show and was like (New York accent) 'I love you, I love the show,'—will she like this rendition that I'm giving?" There's something on the album for everybody and for people that came to the theater and were not deep into R&B, I think they can listen to songs on the album and say, "I like that, I like this."

GS: I'm glad that you mentioned Elton John, who co-wrote Aida and The Lion King. Did he offer to give you a song for your album?

HH: At one point, yeah. We were looking at what covers can we do for the album and see if it works and stuff like that. (Elton) was like (British accent), "Whenever you're ready, I'll write a song. Tim and I will write a song." But it didn't work out and I didn't find a cover. Things just moved so quickly in the end. He gave some great advice and has been very supportive through the whole thing.

GS: Did you call the album This Is Who I Am in an effort to distance yourself from your stage persona?

HH: Absolutely not. That's the thing about calling the album that that makes me scared. I don't want people to think that This Is Who I Am with the emphasis on the this and not that. Calling it This Is Who I Am was for myself, the record company, the people, everybody. There was a point when we were looking for a record deal, not with RCA as such, but with other people and they'd go, "Wasn't she on Broadway? Does she sing Broadway tunes?" I was like, "No." I want to be known as being versatile and this is also who I am. I did Broadway, but this is also who I am. I was on Broadway and I like R&B and I sing R&B. This is what I've always wanted to do. I'm Black and I have no hair. While we were doing the songs, I went through each one with a fine tooth comb going, "There's has to be no cursing and I don't want to talk about sex. I don't want to talk about things that aren't with my faith. I want to talk about relationships." This Is Who I Am was more about this motto, this theme that I had when we went into the process of the album. It was so important to me, Gregg, that I did not lose who I was.

GS: It's all about your identity.

HH: Exactly. I think a lot of times when people do records and things in the music industry, a lot of times they're told, "Well, you have to be this way. We want you to sound like her. Be you, but sound like her and look like her." The entire time that we were doing this, my aim was to be Heather. She had done Broadway. This is how she looks. This is how she sounded. This is what she sang about. This is who she believed in.

GS: And this is who she is right now.

HH: And this is who she is right now. So this album is not, and I pray that no one takes it like that, me trying to escape Broadway.

GS: You do a cover of "Always Been Your Girl," which was co-written by Deborah Cox. Deborah also provides backing vocals on the track. What was it like working with her?

HH: The funny thing about that is that I didn't get to meet Deborah. She was also working on her album, which is coming out very soon, if not out already. The song came in and it was like, "Great, I love this and I want to sing it." We had to do things separate of each other, because everything, in the end, was such a race for her album as well as mine.

GS: Thank goodness for technology.

HH: Isn't it amazing?

GS: Speaking of Deborah, This Is Who I Am, is being released at a time when female soul and R&B vocalists are experiencing some of their greatest popularity. Where do you see yourself fitting into the scene?

HH: I've always wanted to be Whitney Houston, I remember two years ago when the project started, looking at Erykah Badu, Jill Scott, Alicia Keys, India.Arie and going, "Thank you, thank you," because I knew that they were opening doors for people that would come down the road. If I had done this album two years ago, it would have been more difficult. Now because these women have said, "Hey R&B, here's a ballad," it's easier now to do this album. I pray that, as the door has been kicked open by some of those girls, that I can do my own nudging and nudge it open so that it won't be hard for the next person who decides, "I want to do one of those old Whitney albums where there are six ballads and four up tempos."

GS: Or the next person that says I want to be Heather Headley.

HH: ( Laughs ) Hopefully, we'll put our own stamp on it. When we started, besides Whitney and Mariah Carey and other people like that, there wasn't really that R&B influence. It's just so beautiful to me that everyday you see somebody else who's kind of doing it. There are more and more women that are coming forward and doing it.

GS: When you sing love songs such as "He Is" and "If It Wasn't For Your Love," is there someone in particular you are singing them to, or have you not yet found that special someone?

HH: No, I have found that special someone. I can sing those songs and cry about them joyfully. Before you'd sing them and cry like, "When, when, when." It's great to sing it from experience. Also, I know that those two songs especially, are for God as well. It's for the guy that's so good to you. It could be your lover, your boyfriend, your husband, but also God, but I also believe He is a "He Is." "If It Wasn't For Your Love" is written as well for God. It's funny to start and end the album (with those songs). It's written for God, but also I sing it to my mom as well. If it wasn't for God's love, my mom's love, and now my boyfriend's love, so many people even in the theater, people who have loved me unconditionally, then I wouldn't be standing here. That last one is one of my favorite songs, because every time I hear it or sing it in my head, I see different people.

GS: On the flip-side, you also have a way with heartache ballads, such as "I Wish I Wasn't" and "Four Words From Heartbreak." How do you get yourself in the mood to sing those songs?

HH: You just remember some stuff that this idiot did four years ago that now you're so happy about that you have this new guy. I've experienced those heartaches. That's another reason for the title, This Is Who I Am, because I wanted to go through all the things that had happened in my life. "If It Wasn't For Your Love" is maybe what I would want to sing when I was getting the Tony. The joys and finding love and being excited and having a great God, and a great boyfriend and a great mother. Then there's the middle section where there's been all this heartache. In order to find the prince, you got to have some frogs in the way. I was like, "I was I wasn't in love with you Froggie and life would be so much easier." It's so cathartic. You go into that place, remember the pain, and you come to the studio, like you go to the theater, remembering that pain and feeling so happy that you're not in it anymore.

GS: It probably makes it easier to sing it that way.

HH: Yeah! You go back there, but just for a day. You get a little angry and you get mad with yourself and with the person, but you're just like, thank God you're not in that madness.

GS: "Sista Girl," which you co-wrote, has a Meshell Ndegeocello vibe and a very powerful message. What was the inspiration for that song?

HH: "Sista Girl" was the first song ever written for this album, two years ago. I sat down and came up with it and then went to Gary Haase, who co-wrote it, and we got it together. I knew that the message had to come across in something very grooved, because it's talking to 14-year-olds and to whoever else. The inspiration for it was the first verse being myself. When I was growing up in Trinidad I was 14 and looked like I was 21 or 22. I hung around 22-year-olds and 22-year-old guys thought I was 22 and would talk to me. I wasn't scantily clad, but there's just some kids that are older than they are, they have an older spirit. That was me. The second verse ( of the song ) is me, if not for the grace of God. It's based on things I saw in my community. I'm a preacher's kid, so just kind of hearing about people counseling people and really true stories about guys going, "I don't know who you are. That's not my kid. I was drunk when I had sex with you." It really hurts me and angers me. My aim is to reach out to young girls. I really think that they are our future and there are so many girls who don't have people telling them it's OK to wait and it's OK to go to college.

GS: The message in the song is so incredibly powerful and empowering as well.

HH: Yeah, because you have the power when you do this. All the power lies in me now, because I become so empowered because I'm telling you no and I need to wait right now and mess my life up to some extent. A baby just changes your entire life.

GS: It's probably more responsibility than most people even realize.

HH: That's it. At 14, how do you know that? At 16, how do you know that? At 27, I don't know that. It hurts me so much to see young girls pregnant, with two kids by 18 or 19. The guys … don't even start me. The guys go ahead and they go to college and get to be on the football and do everything. As women we have to stay home and take care of these kids. I don't think a lot of the girls see it long term. I'm hoping that the song is a cool way, a grooved way, of having girls say, "Hey, Sista girl, wait."

GS: I think I detect a bit of the disco diva under the surface. Will there be dance remixes of "He Is" or "Fallin' For You"?

HH: It's funny that you say that, Gregg. I'm not the disco queen at all. I don't even club. I'm scared of big crowds and I'm allergic to smoke.

GS: It would be different to have your voice coming through the speakers in a disco.

HH: That's what I'm saying. It's so hilarious. They sent me the club remix of "He Is" yesterday and I was cracking up in the car. A friend of mine had called me and was like, "I was in the club and I heard your song." I was like, "How did you hear it?" So all of a sudden, they're remixing it and I was just laughing in the car because I was sitting there like, "Oh my gosh, I'm on club remix disco." So it's pretty hilarious. I'm going to have to go in one day and sit there and listen to it and see people dance to it. It'll make me cry.

GS: Next thing you know they'll have you on the floats in the gay pride parade.

HH: And be a disco queen. That after I'm, "No, not disco queen!"