I openly admit that I'm a size queen when it comes to men. There's nothing so hot as kneeling down in a front of a man, slipping your hand into his pants and pulling out a nice big fat wallet.
Some people say it's not the size of the wallet that counts, it's what you do with it; this, obviously, is a steaming heap of bullcrap. When it comes to wallets, HUGE is what I'm looking for.
I find the biggest wallets are usually black in color …
… uh! I have no idea where this article is going. I think I'm just horny and looking for a few bucks from a nice big fat black wallet.
Uh … can you excuse me for a few minutes …
OK, I'm back …
Is there such a thing as being too gay? Well, yes there is. You're far too gay if you visit www.cafeshops.com and buy the Gay Christian Wall Clock, the Bear Pride Wall Clock, or the 'classic thong' with the popular slogan Eat My Meat on the crotch.
How much gay crap do you need around the house?
I want to know what happened to the Gay Muslim Rainbow Flag Activity Set with the built in dildo and toaster oven that you can shove up your rear end and make a snack with at the same time. I'm sure I saw one on a Web site somewhere.
I've been thinking about the Christian-right wing and them saying that if gay marriage is legalized, then the next thing would be legalized incest, bestiality, and deflowering virgins and tossing their wretched remains into the Satanic pits of Hades.
I know that this gay marriage issue is complex, and I don't want to complicate it even more, but I do want to pose this question: If gay marriage is legalized in the States, does that mean I can marry a wooden facsimile?
Yep, you've guessed it … I've fallen in love with a decoy duck … again!! I love decoy ducks, and I've probably had sex with about 5,000 of them in my life.
My hottest fantasy is to be tied down on an island in the middle of a lake, surrounded by floating decoy ducks all quacking to be rimmed, and then three days later I'm found dead with a mouth full of wooden feathers and a smile on my face.
Anyway, that was my sick snuff duck fantasy.
But I'm getting older, and I'm fed up with cruising parks in lakes and this never ending round of one-night-stand duck fucks, so I've decided to buy a mail order decoy duck bride from www.pin.ca/gerd/default.htm and settle down in New England and raise ducklings.
Go visit the Web site and check out the beak on that Common Loon Oregon Myrtle. I could sit on that duck's Woody pecker all day …
'Hey bitch, quack that beak … oh yeah … Who's your ducky?'