In Florida, U.S. Rep. Mark Foley, who is seeking the GOP nomination for Senate, called a news
conference to denounce his opponents who he accuses of spreading rumors that he is gay.
Foley refuses to discuss his sexual orientation, and denies ever having owned a florist store
in Palm Beach called 'Dorothy's Pansy.'
'The Democrats are just a bunch of nasty bitches,' said Foley, running red manicured
fingernails through his blond highlights, and petting his poodle Fifi Trixibelle, 'And I don't want
anything to do with them. They're just jealous.'
Foley is seeking the GOP nomination for the seat currently held by Democratic presidential
hopeful Bob 'Betty' Graham, who is undecided about whether he will seek a fourth term. 'I
might and I might not,' said Graham, 'I'm still thinking about it. I won't be rushed.'
Asked if he knew anything about his colleagues accusing Foley of being gay, Graham said,
'It's nonsense. You know what Foley's like, she's as crazy as a loon. As you know, I don't
gossip, but I heard she was dropped on her head as a baby. That's how she got that ugly
face. By the way, you never got that from me … '
State Republican Party Chairman Carole Jean Jordan described the accusations against Foley
as 'revolting' and said he was a 'a valued member of our Republican family.'
Other Republican colleagues spoke out in Foley's defense, with Former Florida Education
Commissioner, Phillip Ross, saying, 'Foley is a big asset to the Republican party, he does all the
table arrangements and can bang out a quiche faster than Julia Child on 'tina.''
Heavyweight, U.S. Rep. Ginny Brown-Waite, R-Brooksville, noted that Foley's drapes were
'flawless,' and said 'Not many people know this, but he crotchets his own napkins rings.'
+++
ASSWIPE OF THE WEEK: AP reports that U.S. Supreme Court Justice Antonin Scalia recently
attended a dinner hosted by the Urban Family Council (UFC), a group whose founder is suing
to overturn a Philadelphia ordinance allowing same-sex couples to register as 'life partners.'
The UFC also opposes abortion.
Scalia spoke at the meeting, in spite of the fact that federal judges are prohibited from raising
money for political, charitable, or civic organizations, or permitting the use of the prestige of
their office for that purpose.
The UFC Web site at urbanfamily.org/ has this to say about homosexuality: 'The Lord who
made us and knows us intimately has given us a beautiful, good gift in our sexuality (Genesis
1:27, 1:31). He has also given us a plan for how we are to use this gift—sexual intercourse
belongs within the protective bounds of marriage (Genesis 2:24). He has spoken to us
repeatedly about sexual immorality. He says that we should avoid it (I Thessalonians 4:3), flee
from it (I Corinthians 6:18), and there should not be even a hint of it in our lives (Ephesians 5:3).
It is clear from Leviticus 18:22, Romans 1:27 and I Corinthians 6:9 that homosexuality is sexual
immorality.'
And what about the morality and ethics of being a U.S. Supreme Court Justice?
You would think that those who make the laws would know how to obey them.
+++
In all my years working for newspapers, I've never seen such rave reviews for a stage
production as Jerry Springer-The Opera is getting in London. Go visit
jerryspringertheopera.com
… it's frightening!!
