Dear readers, it isn't often that Jonny has the occasion to climb the mountain of leather and bathhouses to the top, where sits Mr. Charles Renslow. But Jonny is breathless to tell you that there definitely is something fishy about the owner of The Eagle leather bar and Man's Country bathhouse, and you can take that to the bank. Jonny has discovered that Chuck Renslow is a silent partner in the Chicago Aquarium, the fish hobbyist shop on Clark Street in Andersonville, kitty corner from the more notorious Renslow family businesses. With a selection of equipment, supplies and live finny creatures, Chicago Aquarium is a haven for fish-lovers, and Jonny doesn't mean seafood. The shop comes complete with an employee who looks like Johnny Depp, if that's your idea of a good time. Unfortunately, he doesn't dress like Calico Jack ( nor does he mince as much, but then he's not doing a Keith Richards impersonation ) .
Pictured: Trista Smith from Summer Camp 2's 'Eating Raoul.' It Came from the Neo-Futurarium VII will feature a live reading of Coyote Ugly July 31.
Jonny's readers know they can rely on Jonny for the hard-hitting journalistic truth about almost everything, as Jonny knows nearly all that need be known ( although Jonny admits to a weakness in quantum physics ) . However, it defies Jonny's understanding as to why more and more theater companies devote the summer to readings of old movie and TV scripts. Sure, one can get drunk and hoot-and-holler at them and have a helluva lot of fun, if that's your idea of a good time. Personally, Jonny would rather have a good time with the fishboy who looks like Johnny Depp. Be that as it may, the following summer programs may be enjoyed by the low-brows among Jonny's devoted readers.
If old TV scripts are your thing, you'll enjoy Summer Re-Runs July 20, 27 and Aug. 3 at The Spot on Broadway, presented by A Reasonable Facsimile Theatre Company at 7 p.m. July 20 offers episodes of Alice, Charlie's Angels and the always-pc Three's Company. July 27 finds the young, rich and spoiled of Dawsons' Creek and Beverly Hill 90210. Aug. 3 hastens the approaching school days with episodes of Facts of Life, The Tick and Saved by the Bell. Each evening includes a surprise bonus bit as well.
Tickets are $10.00, all food on The Spot menu is half-price and the bar is fully-stocked.
Meanwhile at the Neo-Futurarium in Andersonville, bad Hollywood movies are the featured attraction for It Came From the Neo-Futurarium VII: Revenge of the Neo-Futurarium. This series of live readings of obscure, trashy, goofy, bizarre, cheesy and did we say terrible film scripts runs Thursdays, 8 p.m., through July 31. The remaining films are: July 17, The Cross and the Switchblade ( 1970 ) with Pat Boone has a crusading pastor in the gang-infested streets of New York; July 24, Ninja III: The Domination ( 1984 ) , an immutably indecipherable mishmash of murder, martial arts and tomato juice; and July 31, Coyote Ugly ( 2000 ) , about a teenage Lolita rock star wannabe and a saloon called, well, Coyote Ugly. Tickets: $10 ( $2 off for repeaters: save your stubs ) .
Not to be outdone—certainly never to be outdone in the Outrageous Department—Hell In A Handbag Productions has taken over Mary's Attic ( also in Andersonville, which seems to be where the elite meet to get down this summer ) for Summer Camp 2, its second year of staged, costumed ( in and out of drag ) adaptations of great Hollywood camp classics. The gangster moll classic Marked Woman will be performed July 17, 22-24, while Aug. 5-7 and 12-14 is the Paul Bartel cult modern noir Eating Raoul ( not merely the film, but the stage musical adaptation of it ) . All shows are at 8 p.m. Naturally, food and drink are available, and drink is recommended. Tickets are $12-$15.
Northwestern University is offering movies, too, but at NU it means real movies, screened outdoors on the East Lawn adjacent to the Norris University Center ( 1999 Campus Drive ) ; free admission. Upcoming flicks are: July 23 ( 9 p.m. ) , Soylent Green ( 1973 future-shock sci-fi murder ) ; July 30 ( 8:30 p.m. ) , The Simpsons; Aug. 6 ( 8:30 p.m. ) , Touch of Evil ( 1958, with Orson Welles, NU grad Charlton Heston, Janet Leigh and Marlene Dietrich—top that! ) ; and Aug. 13 ( 8:30 p.m. ) , Inherit the Wind ( 1960, Spencer Tracy vs. Frederic March, with Gene Kelly, in a version of the Scopes Monkey Trial ) .
As the sailors say, 'Monkey sea, monkey doo,' and that's quite enough for Jonny for this week.