"Snatchmaker, Snatchmaker, make me a snatch. I'll be reassigned, open my hatch. Snatchmaker, Snatchmaker look through your book and make me the perfect snatch," they sing to Yenta, the gender reassignment surgeon in a parody based on that old chestnut from Fiddler on the Roof.
Yes folks, it can only be America's dragapella favorites the Kinsey Sicks, back to wow us with their third CD, Sicks in the City.
Fans of the beauty shop quartet will find more of what they have come to expect; smart lyrics with a comic bite; tight harmonies ( as opposed to their self-proclaimed morals ) ; and some badass singing that blows you away.
This offering of 18 tracks mines a rich load of Broadway and pop music classics, as filtered through the brilliantly twisted mind of Ben Schatz, to yield a cornucopia of commentary on gay and Jewish mores.
"Locked Out of the Chapel of Love," updates the Dixie Cups' 1964 hit with a gay twist: "We'll say we can't because we can't say I do ... one thousand tax breaks will never be mine ... locked out of the chapel of love." Bitter words are juxtaposed against the sugary melody in high irony.
The Sicks have always been ones to offer advice, such as "Cruise People Uglier Than You""They will be so grateful when you look their way that they will buy you lots of things and you should never ever pay."
They go on to singingly suggest, "Screw people less experienced than you, they'll never know how truly bad you are in bed if you use teeth when you give head or simply lie there like you're dead. For once in your life you won't be the worst, so if you have the urgin, simply find yourself a virgin, they won't know how bad you are when you're first."
"Silver Bells" becomes "It's Crystal Time in the City" ( People dancing, people dancing, people dancing, people dancing ... oh little town of methlehem ) .
The 1973 Maureen McGovern hit "Morning After" becomes a plea, "Don't Let there Be a Morning After" when it comes to tricks. "Dark bars at twelve makes you sexy, don't push your luck in natural light ... Tonight I fall for Suzanne Summers, but will you spring into Shelly Winters in the morn?"
Gays' rapture with IKEA is captured to the tune "Maria" from the musical West Side Story, while the erotic lure of "Bali Hai" ( South Pacific ) becomes "MCI," lamenting the bane of telemarketers. "Boogie Woogie Bugle Boy" jives a tongue in cheek paean to real estate developers as "Bugle Boy of Avenue B."
"Dubya" sets up the President with lines like: "Just smile to the left, and march to the right, showcase folks of color so we don't look all white, keep the major donors out of sight, just get a thousand points of GOP light. Tastes great, less chilling."
Kinsey Sicks CDs and merchandise can be ordered directly from their Web site www.kinseysicks.com and are available through select GLBT merchants.