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Pretzel Logic
by David J. Magdziarz

This article shared 1789 times since Wed Aug 24, 2005
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There's country music, boots, and at least one bottom in this week's Pretzel Logic, so it must be time for the gay rodeo.

He Wanted To Get Plowed

Last year during rodeo week I saw a guy at Charlie's with a John Deere hankie in his back right pocket.

Is That the Same Guy Who Refuses To Meet With The Mother Of The Soldier Killed In Iraq?

Trace Adkins' 'Arlington' is sung from the perspective of a young soldier killed in action, and it includes the lyrics: 'there's a big white house sits on a hill just up the road, the man inside he cried the day they brought me home.'

Gender Please? Part One

Long haired, skinny, country musician Keith Urban on his favorite scent: 'Wow. When you have somebody in your life that you really love, the scent of your partner's clothing - you know that scent.'

My New Favorite Country Artist And I Haven't Heard A Single One Of His Songs

Singer/guitarist John Randall owns over 30 pairs of cowboy boots.

My Other Favorite Country Artist And I Haven't Heard A Single One Of His Songs

There's a publicity photo of Brad Cotter wearing a 'THE BOOTS STAY ON' T-shirt.

Speak For Yourself

Recorded promo by a male announcer on Sirius Radio's 'New Country' channel: 'Saving horses and riding cowboys all across America. Wow that was uncomfortable… to say.'

Her Superstar Husband, High-Powered Manager, Record Label President, And Every Member Of Her Entourage Told Her So

In Faith Hill's new song 'Mississippi Girl' she sings about how she's the same good ol' girl she's always been.

Nancy Reagan And Barbara Bush Were Such Simple, Down-To-Earth Country Bumpkins

A article reprinted in the Sun-Times said that the re-countryfied look of singers like Faith Hill, Lee Ann Womack and Trisha Yearwood was due, in part, to the 'the rise in red-state culture.'

Gender Please? Part Two

Keith Urban on not having time to date: 'And on the road, you're really not in a position to meet people - not that it's a good place to meet them anyway.'

Was It A Date With Keith?

Kevin Fowler has a new song called 'Don't Touch My Willie' about a guy who doesn't want his date to mess with his Willie… Nelson CD.

Join The Club, Tim

When asked to comment on the fact that his friend Kenny Chesney had suddenly married Renee Zellweger a mere four months after Kenny met her, Tim McGraw jokingly responded 'I thought he was gay.'

Thank God They Knew Each Other Long Enough To Get Married

When asked if any of his love songs were inspired by his new wife, Kenny Chesney replied that he hadn't known her long enough for that.

Everyone's A Critic

AOL's spell checker offers 'Cheesy' as the first correction for 'Chesney.'

Cowboy Boots Are Out Of This World

A recent photo of the Space Shuttle Discovery that was published on the front page the Sun-Times looked a little too much like a python-skin cowboy boot if you ask me, and I think NASA owes us an explanation.

Gender Please? Part Three

Keith Urban still on not having time to date: 'So when you meet somebody somewhere and they're like 'Let's go out for a drink,' and you're like 'Where?''

This Is A Woman With Absolutely No Sense Of Pattern Recognition

There are news reports Nicole Kidman is dating Keith Urban.

Why Am I Not Surprised

Keith Urban to Playgirl magazine: 'I [ once ] made love in an airplane bathroom. We wanted to see if it could be done, and it can, but you need to be very supple!'

Is It A Cover Of A Keith Urban Tune?

Target is selling a limited edition of Brad Paisley's brand new CD, 'Time Well Wasted,' that contains a song entitled 'Toilet Song.'

If you're Brad Paisley and you're pissed that I didn't mention you until the very end of this column and instead gave way too much ink to that nelly bitch Keith Urban, you can complain to me at

This article shared 1789 times since Wed Aug 24, 2005
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