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Pretzel Logic
by David J. Magdziarz

This article shared 1673 times since Wed Mar 16, 2005
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For some crazy reason there are rumors going around that I think country music cutie Brad Paisley is one hetero hottie. Where to people get such unfounded notions anyway?

From Me, I Guess

OK, so maybe I did mention the pretty Mr. Paisley in 17 past columns of mine, at least two of them being all-Brad columns…

Just Call Me Normal

When I heard that beautiful Brad was performing in Normal, IL, on February 24, I did the normal thing of taking off two days from work, unpaid, so I could drive down and see the show.

Is 'Fan' Short For 'Fanatic'?

As a member of the Brad Paisley Fan Club, I got 4th row tickets through the fan club pre-sale ( sorry, no jokes about 'fan club pre-cum' ) , and I even sent in a form to try and meet the sexy singer as part of a fan club 'Meet & Greet' after the show.

Where's The Beef?

I really would have preferred a Brad Paisley 'Meat & Greet.'

My Valentine From Brad

On Monday, February 14, I got a letter in the mail from the Brad Paisley Fan Club informing me I was chosen to meat… I mean 'meet' Brad on the night of the show.

'How Am I Driving? Please Call…'

While driving to Normal, a truck from some heating company was tailgating me very closely even though I was going the speed limit and was in the right lane, which is not the best thing to do when: 1 ) the company's name and phone number are very visible on the truck; 2 ) the person you are tailgating has his cell phone with him; and 3 ) you're doing the tailgating during regular business hours.

But Most Of Them Were Only Worth Looking At From About Mid Shin Level Downwards

There were plenty to look at in the lobby with all the cowboy booted guys at the concert.

Consistency In Life Can Be A Good Thing

That reminds me when, in the mid-to-late 1980s, I made my first trip to New Mexico. I landed at the El Paso, TX, airport, and even though I was trying to deny to myself that I was gay back then, as I was walking through the airport I saw all these guys in jeans and boots, business suits and boots, and casual slacks and boots, I thought for a second that the plane must have crashed and that I had died and gone to heaven.

I Wonder If He Wears Them Himself

One of the opening acts for the show was country singer Andy Griggs, whose merchandise for sale at the concert included pink women's panties with his name on them.

Do They Have To Flaunt It Like That?

Andy Griggs is an OK entertainer ( even if his new CD sort of sucks, and not in a good way ) , but he comes across as being obnoxiously heterosexual.

Wardrobe Malfunction

Maybe he SHOULD wear those panties and lighten up a bit.

I'll Drink To That

There was a bartender at one of the concert venues' lounges who looked a lot like Brad, including a nice, new black cowboy hat.

I'm Such A Paisley Tease

So, did I ever meet ( or better yet, 'meat' ) Brad? Was it one of those magic moments that'll live forever ( and not just for Brad, but maybe me too ) ? Was I able to smuggle out a pair of Brad's boots by stuffing them down my jeans? Since I've run out of space this week, you'll have to check in the next time.

If you have a pair of Andy Griggs panties that you wear, you can e-mail me at and tell me all about it, although to be honest you really don't have to if you don't want to.

This article shared 1673 times since Wed Mar 16, 2005
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